one of THOSE nights =/ *sigh*

[folclor]

You know...I've been handling this whole being back thing rather well. Despite the crying the first night and that one night the first week I was back, I've been doing pretty good. I've tried to go out with friends, hang out with my family, work hard at school, etc. But it's just not helping tonight. I don't feel like doing anything, I'm watching movies to try and ease my restlessness but my attention won't hold even if it's a movie I really want to see. I try playing games, too, but it just hasn't helped. I haven't slept very well over the past week because I keep waking up and not finding Alex next to me. I've taken to sleeping in his shirt but the scent has since worn off (as it's been almost a month since I left Canada).

I know these are symptoms of lovesickness and I've had that before, but not like this. Not where I'm distracted to the point of checking every two minutes to see whether he's home. Kind of pathetic, I know, but I've already cleaned half of my room in my quest to no longer be so...obsessed tonight. I cleaned out my dresser and organized my bookshelf. I even cleared the gaming area and organized the systems. I'm not worried about something happening, I'm not frustrated about trusting or not trusting him, I'm just... lovesick and there's no way that I know of to free myself of this emotional pit I'm in tonight. Heh, I even try talking to people but then I have no interest in what's being said.

Sorry, I guess I'm just ranting. It's just that we've come so far and he and I have so much planned and so much thought out (though not decided) and the responsibility of the next trip isn't even mine. He's coming down here to meet my family and see where I come from. That's great and his family loves me and my family is starting to accept the idea of him and I'm doing well in school so far this semester... but I really wish I could be in his arms. ^^;

What do y'all do on nights like this?

[loveknowsnodistance27]

Awww, I know the feeling. On nights like that, I really don't do much of anything; I just like to wallow in my self-pity, as insane as that sounds. Somehow, it makes me feel better. Have you listened to love songs or sad music? My remedy is just to let it all out, don't be afraid to cry. I've found that writing helps me to feel better as well. I've been journaling my feelings since my SO left for school again and I feel so great. It's good because I can write about how I'm feeling and look back on how things have been on other days as well, whether good or bad. Journaling is like "self-therapy" I guess lol. If you can, maybe try going to bed early as well; that seems to help, too. I hope I could help at least a little bit. I know it's tough, but you can get through it! Hang in there! =]

[Zephii]

You're a lot more productive than I was. I'd usually just sit and stare at nothing... then browse forums without any interest and then decide to sleep, because that passes the time.

*Hugs* Hang in there!

[Gelfling]

Hrm, how can I phrase this? In my experience, which is admittedly somewhat limited, when lovesickness gets really bad I find it more helpful to think of it as unmet physical needs rather than emotional ones. After that's resolved, I find it easier to focus on the daily grind as a distraction from how much I miss SO.

I had a lot of trouble eating and sleeping when SO and I were in the initial stages of flirtation. So far, things haven't gotten that bad for me again, but I suspect that I may end up in the same place when I come home after my visit this spring.

[London-FortCollins]

I agree with loveknowsnodistance27 - wallow in it for a while. As weird as this may sound, I actually enjoy those nights...in a bittersweet, masochisitic kinda way. I like knowing that I love my SO that much, that it hurts so much when I miss him.

Especiallly because I know not every day is like that, so I just embrace the days that are that bad. Listen to LD songs, look at photos of the two of you, cry your heart out....and then try to get some sleep.

Because sweetie everything DOES always look better in the morning.

[beaton]

I find it comforting to just sort of meditate and pull up memories of us doing things together and try to feel what I felt at that moment. Sometimes, though, all you can do is wallow. If that's the case, I usually journal and cry and basically "mourn" him, and then take comfort in the fact that there really isn't anything to mourn, that it's just brain chemicals- I'm just coming off of the "high" I get from being around him and everything will level out soon.

[Silviar]

I do exactly what you described - I clean, organize, do some sorta other busywork project, and if I can't relax enough to watch a show or play a game. I hope on the forums. Then I usually have a drink to relax me, and that helps my mind let go enough to enjoy a movie or TV.

[folclor]

Thank y'all ^^; Eventually I got to talk to him and then went to bed straight after ^^; that was definitely a help. and, yes, I did wallow in it to some degree. So thank y'all for your concern and advice.

[Karringtyn]

Sounds like you are feeling a bit better...On nights like this..I go to bed. It is the ONLY way I can shut up my thoughts...

[folclor]

I would but I generally have slight insomnia ^^;