we broke up

[Miramaid]

Is there a reason that you are not blocking him? Or changing your email address?

I guess...my dependency is a reason and me willing to give him a chance to say something if he is wants to say anything else... he told me he was gonna go to counseling and will make an appointment tomorrow...we talked about couples counseling too but it is hard to set up when two people are on a distance. He says he wants to make it work. I am scared that nothing will work. He says he is scared of the same thing...

[Moon]

Tissa, WHY are you still reading his messages? He doesn't love you, he's manipulating you, this are classic control patterns. He's using whatever he can to make you feel guilt, like you have a problem, and only he can "save" you. Listen, I went through this before, he isn't different and everyone who has responded DOES understand, OK? You might be thinking that we just don't understand him, but we do, 100%. Please, you have the internet, look up his behavior, do some research, then get the hell away from that psycho. Do not read anything he sends you, block him from your IM service, ignore him completely and disappear from his life permanently. Why are you doing to yourself? This is not love! Say that out load, then repeat it until you get it. If you give in, you're in for a miserable life until you can finally manage to escape him.

[Silviar]

Yes, please, Tissa... I'm really worried about you. Don't listen to what he says... look at what he DOES. Anyone can say things, but his actions speak so much louder than his words. Your own counselor told you to get out. And your counselor is going to have one of the best objective views you can get - and their job is to look after your well-being.

Be very, very careful, and remember that you come first. Not him, not a relationship. You and what's good for YOU.

[mllebamako]

I guess...my dependency is a reason and me willing to give him a chance to say something if he is wants to say anything else... he told me he was gonna go to counseling and will make an appointment tomorrow...we talked about couples counseling too but it is hard to set up when two people are on a distance. He says he wants to make it work. I am scared that nothing will work. He says he is scared of the same thing...

I really think it's in your best interest to cut contact with him COMPLETELY. And then work out your dependancy issues on your own through counseling.

[Caitlin2009]

Guys, he sent me a yahoo message yesterday with a link, saying that he thinks I am a compulsive liar and the link was providing examples and diagnosis of a compulsive liar an how they do not realize that they are sick etc etc. And he said that he very much wanted to help me and he thinks I should get professional help for this :'(
I know i lied! I know I lied not once in our relationship about my PAST. I know I am not a compulsive liar and I do not understand what he wants. HE says that his dreams of us being together have been broken because of my lies and that he just wants things to be good and live happily ever after, that he wants me to get counseling for lying, that he thought if you LOVE somebody you share all your depes't secrets and fears with that person and I did not...Anyways, it hurts because I know I am not a compulsive liar even though i did lie. I also know that even if I do what he asks: go to counseling for lying (i already go to counseling, but did not address that issues there), it will not be good at the end :'( I know that. I told him that couples counseling is what we need but we are in different states and also I do not know if he loves me deep enough and just get over MY PAST.
I talked to my counselor and he was very clear that I need to get out of this while I can. It is hard tho especially coz he sends me messages and stuff and he says he loves me and wants us be happy and that i was the best girlfriend he ever had except I lied and there are two things in a relationship that he would not accept: cheating and lying :'(

I guess...my dependency is a reason and me willing to give him a chance to say something if he is wants to say anything else... he told me he was gonna go to counseling and will make an appointment tomorrow...we talked about couples counseling too but it is hard to set up when two people are on a distance. He says he wants to make it work. I am scared that nothing will work. He says he is scared of the same thing...

for gods sake cut all contact with him!! its only gonna get worse! Trust me! Denise is a good example she was with her ex for a few years and the violence got worse and worse until one night he took things a little too far and nearly killed her! to quote her "if i didnt leave after that night i wouldnt be alive today!" look at those abuse cases! most of them either end up with serious lifelong injuries or dead. You have to end this now before it gets any worse!

[Miramaid]

I have been reading all day about abusive relationships. Yes according to the tests I took, this is a moderate emotional abuse (he never hit me or anything, and this ugly email was the first time he called me "horrible person", he never called me any names before). He apologized for that email and said that he was too angry. He scheduled an appointment with a counselor for next week for himself and it is suppose to be 11 sessions and extend to more if needed. I do not know how it will end. I have been seeing a counselor myself to work on the issues that I have. I am glad he will see a counselor too. He told me that he is scared that it wont work, I am scared too and I told him that. We are looking at the options for long distance couple counseling. We are not back together but giving it time while working on the issues I guess. I do not know how it will end, but he said he wants to be with me and with me only and wants to be happy. I want the same thing. I do not know if it will happen, but time will show. I thank you all guys for a MAJOR support. Please cross your fingers for us or pray that therapy will work. I already feel better about any outcome, but of course I want a good outcome to happen coz i really love him. Thank you again. Wish us luck with therapy and dealing with difficult times.

[murphfan51]

Just be careful and stay strong, ignore his abuse, you sound like a lovely person and you shouldnt have to put with that! *hugs*

[Sarah M]

I have been reading all day about abusive relationships. Yes according to the tests I took, this is a moderate emotional abuse (he never hit me or anything, and this ugly email was the first time he called me "horrible person", he never called me any names before). He apologized for that email and said that he was too angry. He scheduled an appointment with a counselor for next week for himself and it is suppose to be 11 sessions and extend to more if needed. I do not know how it will end. I have been seeing a counselor myself to work on the issues that I have. I am glad he will see a counselor too. He told me that he is scared that it wont work, I am scared too and I told him that. We are looking at the options for long distance couple counseling. We are not back together but giving it time while working on the issues I guess. I do not know how it will end, but he said he wants to be with me and with me only and wants to be happy. I want the same thing. I do not know if it will happen, but time will show. I thank you all guys for a MAJOR support. Please cross your fingers for us or pray that therapy will work. I already feel better about any outcome, but of course I want a good outcome to happen. Thank you again. Wish us luck with therapy and dealing with difficult times.

Please be strong and true to yourself and I sincerely hope that these counselling sessions will help break the cycle!!! Chin up!

[lizzielove]

Aww I'm so sorry! You're not a horrible person at all