:/ So pathetic

[sagittariusgirl89]

So as all of you know...Ive been having probems with John. I am so fuckin confused! I kinda want to go die because Im so confused.

So, Saturday night, I went to a bar with a guy who goes to the same school as me. I ended up making out with him, (the same guy who I kissed twice outside of my math class a couple weeks ago). We have been texting and I take sexy pics and send them to him. I dont even send them to John. I feel like John isnt sexual towards me, and when he is I feel like it is forced.

The guy I kissed doesn't even want a relationship. I know that. I don't want John out of my lfie, but I love texting this guy and acting real sexy around him. It is such a bad cycle I cant get out of. My school work has gone to the side and I barely eat anymore.

I went to study with my friend kathryn and the guy (sean) and I was wanting to make out with him or just have him show me attention...wtf...

[snow_girl]

I think you need to decide what you want. You can not have john and this other guy. It is absolutely not fair to John. You either need to talk to him about your relationship and let him know how you feel and what you can both do to fix it or call it quits.

[sagittariusgirl89]

I have talked to him...but its like nothing has changed.

I am lonely and i have told john that...

[snow_girl]

Maybe its time to reevaluate your relationship then. If he can't give you what you need then perhaps its time to move on?

[garnet]

If this situation were reversed, would you think it was fair of John to keep stringing you along, while he cheated over and over again?
You've posted here more than once after something like this has happened, and everyone has tried to be supportive, but there comes a point where you are just being cruel by not letting John go. I don't know why he is hanging on still, but this is just so completely unfair to him. It doesn't seem like the attempts you've made to stop this behavior are going to work, so why not just free yourself?

[Butterfly]

DEFINITELY time to re-evaluate. Believe me, I know how you feel. I have been in a similar situation before.

I understand what you're going through. Things feel so comfortable with John, but you feel like you're lacking in the passion/chemistry department. I'm not judging you at all.. because I've been there.

First of all, stop sending sexy pictures unless you are 100% sure you trust him. Second of all, you need to figure out if you're feeling love or infatuation for this other guy. If its just infatuation, you need to stop or break up with your boyfriend. It's not fair to John. (Again, I'm TOTALLY not judging or trying to make you feel guilty in any way, I've been there! Just sharing from experience

Perhaps I'm biased, but I remember feeling EXACTLY how you did. I also remember letting an incredible man go for a feeling of infatuation and passion, that turned out to be nowhere near what I thought it would be. That crazy wanting-to-make-out-all-the-time feeling does not always mean love. Obviously I don't know your situation or either of the guys you're talking about - I can only talk from experience.

Either way, a decision needs to be made. "Follow your heart but use your head!"

[Caitlin2009]

right ok....you have cheated on him twice, you feel like theres no spark anymore between you two, so why are you still with him if you feel this way? Like someone already said thats not fair to John your stringing him along making him think you still care about him when you obvously dont anymore, so why are you doing that to him and yourself?

[nicole]

I think you need to sit and think about what you are doing to John. To cheat on him once... people make mistakes, but twice with the same guy, that's obviously not a mistake. If your heart is not in it with John, please just put the poor guy out of his misery, because it's not fair treating someone like that. You may be holding on to him because the relationship is comfortable- and that is incredibly selfish.

Please just sit and think about what you want. You want chemistry and fire but you can't get that with John. You want a relationship but can't get that from the other guy. Maybe neither are right. But that is your decision.

[Silviar]

Hun you're so upset and confused - don't keep torturing yourself. Take some time away from the men and figure out what you REALLY want. It's going to take a lot of time for John to trust you again. Love can only take you so far in a relationship - friendship, trust, morals, etc are all important factors that must be present as well.

[Sarah M]

Sounds like your heart and mind don't particularly want to be in a long-distance relationship anymore, unfortunately. The attention may seem like fun, but you have to just ask yourself why it makes you feel so good and why do you still want to stay with John? Those answers may help...

I hope you're okay.

[Paris]

So you cheated? Sorry no sympathy there. YOU are the exact kind of person my SO is so closed off because of...


Is there NO trust in relationships anymore? If you wanted this guy John you wouldn't be makig out with some other guy.

[Rugger]

You will only be pathetic if you keep doing what you are doing: Hurting another person. Sweetie, You need to either 1) break up with John and let him find someone who truly care about him OR 2) Cut ALL contact with the other guy and work on repairing your relationship.

You can't have your cake and eat it too. That's not fair to either of you, most specifically the person you claim to care about. If you care about someone, You try with all your might not to hurt them. I would rather have my arm ripped off than even thinking about hurting my SO. Clearly that's not present in your relationship. So you need to end it. The fear of being alone is a selfish fear.

[Sarah M]

So you cheated? Sorry no sympathy there. YOU are the exact kind of person my SO is so closed off because of...


Is there NO trust in relationships anymore? If you wanted this guy John you wouldn't be makig out with some other guy.

I understand where you're coming from, but a little bit of compassion wouldn't go astray, here. We're here to support, not chastise.

[Paris]

I understand where you're coming from, but a little bit of compassion wouldn't go astray, here. We're here to support, not chastise.

I have ZERO compassion for people who cheat. NONE. ZERO. People that cheat damage the other person and then when someone trust worthy and good comes along they run in fear because of what the previous has done. So no I have ZERO sympathy for someone who cheats.

I posted my story and see it got one reply...seems the ones where people are lying, cheating or decieving their SO get all the attention. Just proves my point even more. If you do something like this how can you expect people to give you sympathy when you did it yourself? Sorry NONE. This is the exact reason my SO is having a moment right now because someone, more than one in his past broke his trust. It's not fair. People need to think of the future actions and how it will affect the other person later on and well they don't. They only think of themselves. Sorry to be harsh but I am tired of reading on various boards how people cheat and then want sympathy. It is pathetic.

[Stina83]

I agree with what most people have said already. You need to figure out what you want hun. This is just not fair to either of you. None of us are perfect, we all make mistakes. But you have to learn from those mistakes and move on from there.
I've been in a similar situation. My last ex was a wonderful guy, treated me well and respected me, and we had a nice and 'safe' relationship. There was just no passion, at least not for me. So we went on vacation one summer and I met a guy who worked in the hotel restaurant that I flirted with a bit, when my bf wasn't there. It was sort of innocent, but it ended up with us kissing the day before we were leaving. I felt totally disgusted with myself and my behavior, and I broke it off with my ex the same day. The guy from the restaurant wasn't what I wanted either but our little fling showed me that I wasn't happy in the relationship that I was in, because I acted the way that I did. My point is, I think this should tell you that you're not in the right place right now with John. You just need something else that he can't give you, and this is why you should break up with him and let him move on as well. You can't keep doing this to him or to yourself for that matter. Hope you make the right decision..