overwhelmed

[theoryofredice]

So i'm new to this form so first off Hi.

I'm looking for advice my boyfriend and I were recently thrown into the long distance relationship thing after being together for 2 years. He's taking some time off from school and I'm already graduated. He's really lost with what to do in life and is taking some time off and thinking of going to Ecuador and volunteering down there (for i dont know how long). My current job is ending so i'm thinking of taking this opportunity to move somewhere and start a new job. I'm thinking somewhere in Canada right now but open to many places.
I'm very overwhelmed with the idea. Ecuador seems so far away and possibly difficult to communicate depending on what he does. I'm trying to be very supportive but its scary. I have so many fears about him meeting someone new or losing interest in me.
Is there any advice any of you have?
Thanks

[loveknowsnodistance27]

First of all, welcome to LFAD! =]

You say you've been together two years already...that's a good, solid foundation right there. The biggest key to long distance is TRUST! I cannot stress that enough; you need to be able to trust your SO and reassure yourself that he will be faithful to you. If he loves you, which I'm sure he does, seeing as you've been together for 2 years, he will wait for you and will not meet anyone else. I had these same fears, and I still have them pop into my head once in awhile as well. It's insecurity on our part...I start thinking negatively and it makes me miserable. But, once I get in contact with my boyfriend, usually through text or MSN, it reassures me that he does indeed care about me and love me, especially when he initiates the conversation. I know it's hard, but try to show him how supportive you are and that you have every intention of making it work through the distance. I try not to cry in front of my SO when it comes to saying goodbye, though it is very tough...I've only managed to not cry once I think. Showing love and support for him will make you that much more attractive to him and will make him miss you more (which is a good thing). Hope I could help. We're all here for you! =]

[mllebamako]

Welcome to LFAD

I think it's great that you are being supportive of him possibly going to Ecuador. I know it seems scary now but once you get into the new rhythm of things, you guys will be just fine.
He is with YOU and had been with YOU for 2 years. Have confidence in your relationship and trust that he won't just drop you like that when things get a little challenging or if he sees a cute girl or something.
Also, don't worry too much about communication. If he is in at least a medium-sized village, they will most likely have an internet cafe and probably with headphones for skype. If he is a tiny village, he'll be wanting to go to a bigger city every few weeks or so for his own sanity so he can connect with you then. I had a friend living in Quito who had awesome wifi in his house and was on skype all the time.

Worst case scenario: he gets a cell phone and you call him. My SO and I did that for awhile (he lives in Mali) before he could get to an internet place on a regular basis. It was expensive (25 cents a minute) so I would just call him for 15 minutes every few days. But it was still enough and we were fine.

I definitely recommend laying out your communication needs either before he goes or when he figures out his living situation. That way you both are clear on how much communication you want (or how little you can live with).