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Advice on how to let go !!

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    Advice on how to let go !!

    Well my baggage of woes has been quite open to the forum posts for quite sometime now. I have not been in the best state of my mind lately. Considering the fact that there were reasons which my SO just gave hints to be but never discusses properly even when we were together over here in India.

    I had planned to reduce the distance between us by going to those B schools which were near to her undergraduate school. This list of schools even she had with her too. Now when I am supposed to visit her family in February, she gave he doubts,reasons and everything on 28th of Dec. I did digest it all slowly but considering that I am in the helm of activities with respect to my career I have do think about her and feel so bad that she never really opened herself to me. I was literally an open book to her with all my plans in front of her to comment upon and discuss.

    She showed no compassion for what I tried to accomplish with her and she just walked off. I do respect her decision but this has effected me badly. I am unable to keep my mind steady and keep focus on the activities.

    I just wish she shouldnt have done all this and instead have waited for my admissions to finish up that is just the month of January. Later on we could have sorted things out or just let go. But she just put me into too much of emotional pressure and its tough to handle all of this simultaneously.

    I have worked hard for past so many months with no social life, no parties and even no celebrations on the new year day. All I was working towards the deadlines and meet her and her family in february. And this is what I got in return.

    Please help me out on this !!

    love you all folks and thanks a lot for being there !!

    This is a situation I have never faced in my life to be frank. So....

    #2
    I'm so sorry to hear this...I think the first step is recognizing that you did all that you could...it takes two to make a relationship work especially a LD one...so if she wasn't invested you would have been the only one fighting. I know all to well how it feels to fight for something that you thought was there even though you are fighting alone...allow yourself time to heal and understand what went wrong and what went right in the relationship and it will help you to approach your next relationship with more insight and information than before...Every experience no matter how hurtful can help you grow...but that doesn't end the pain...so allow yourself to hurt and deal with the loss and then begin to heal yourself. Big hugs :-)

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      #3
      Amit, I wish there was some magic formula on how to let go of someone or get back all the effort you put into a relationship. Unfortunately, there isn't, it's just going to take some time to heal. Lake Tknandlvnit said, every experience can help you grow. You will grow from this painful time and you will learn more of what you want out of relationships and more importantly, you'll learn more about yourself.

      Take the time to heal...things will get better.

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        #4
        Amit-

        Time. I have been through HELL and back with a 14 year marriage ended. It's been over 2 years and when I met my SO a year or so ago it was FINALLY that I was ok with me again. Time does heal most wounds.

        Just be good to yourself and do what brings you peace. Best wishes.
        NY to Texas Married on...August 17th, 2013

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          #5
          Agreed with the fine ladies above. You need time. Time, and some space for yourself to give YOURSELF what you need and want.


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