Any advice for him on how to ease the distance?

[Alisz]

I'm not sure if I'm wording this right, so forgive me. ^^;; My Valentine's Day/6 month anniversary/get well soon package arrived there a few days ago. I was really happy and relieved it got there in once piece. I'd never sent out a package like that before. He was happy about it, but at the same time he felt bad. I assured him that I didn't do it expecting something in return and it didn't cost me that much. Most of it was from the dollar store, some candies bought in bulk, some homemade cookies, and some handmade plushie stuff. I did it because I love him and wanted to send him something. But he feels bad because he can't really afford to send me things and he said he's not artistic. Again I told him that didn't matter, that I'm content with the little things he does for me everyday. This brought up a small conversation about him not really knowing what to do in a LDR. What he was trying to tell me that it's easier in a CDR because we could go out for dinner, see a movie, or just go for a walk and he could like surprise me that way. I'm kinda just winging it, so I don't really know what else I can tell him. Anyone have any ideas of things I could tell him he could do that he'd feel "productive" doing?

[Mio]

Tell him to look at the Things to do in the main website, there are a lot of things, and a lot of them are free!!!

[folclor]

My boyfriend freaked out like that too. ^^;

My advice is for you to be more decisive. Tell him exactly what you want him to do or what you want from him and then ask him what he did or didn't like and go from there.

[Rach321]

I agree with Marian. My boyfriend is the same way- when we are together, he's really good about being spontaneous and romantic (even more than me). But for some reason, when we're apart, he just doesn't think of it. I know this about him, and I generally accept it. But if there is something important to me (like my birthday's coming up and I know I'd be upset if he didn't do something like sending a card), I'll try to tell him exactly what I expect. Sometimes he does it, sometimes he doesn't. But overall I'm happy with the love he gives me, so it's not really a problem when he doesn't. And it seems to equal out between us in the long run.

[Alisz]

That's just it. I don't have a problem with it. He has the issue. He thinks he's not being a good boyfriend. I've told him about the Things to Do list, but somehow I think he wants to do more? I'm not sure. I've told him if he really wants to do things for me then he can take more pictures or video of himself and things around him. I don't really need tangible gifts or big romantic gestures because what he does on a day-to-day basis is cute and romantic in itself. I told him that, but I still think he feels bad, so I'm at a loss. I mean, I'd much rather he save his money for a visit to see me than spend it on sending me gifts. He says I've confused him because I don't think like the girl's he's been with XD It's not a bad thing, just he's not used to it. Makes me wonder exactly what kind of girls he's used to hanging around with lol

[So_Far_Away]

My boyfriend is a bit like that - he loves to spend money on me and I hate it when he does! You just need to tell him the same thing many times before he believes you're saying it becuase it's true and not becuase you think he want's to hear it....

[Zephii]

I think it makes sense! I suggest asking him to make you something! Tell him it's not allowed to cost him more than, i dont know, $5 in materials - and ask for something that will take him a while so he feels like he's putting a big effort in. Sometimes it's just nice to feel needed and like you're going out of your way for someone

[Alisz]

Yeah, I guess I'll just keep reminding him that I don't expect things like that from him. ^^ Thanks

@Zephii Thanks, I'll mention that to him if he brings it up again. ^^ I think he's probably feeling like this because he's being worked hard at work (even when he's off the clock and at home...), so he feels like he doesn't have any time lately to do much for himself or for me. :/