SO did not play their part -need opinions

[blanches]

Hi All,

Im new member here but have been in LDR for 4years. Our time dioference is 1hour and we see each othe 3times per year. Our relationship is great but until now it turns out boring for me. It was due to my bf did not make any attempt to make our LDR much more interesting. Like for example, when we would see each other for our dates, it was me that will do all the planning. He never gives suggestion and I felt that I done my part but his is not.
It is just not about the planning, I felt that I wad the only one who keeps the relationship alive. We do talk about this over so many times but his attitude is the same. There were no improvement. Not that I wish to change him but it would be nice once a while he do some interesting thing for us.

He did not met expectation when in fact i did clear out what is im looking for.

Now what should I do to make him understand? I asked my friend to deliver this to my bf but still the same.

I appreciate your comments and opinion.

[lucybelle]

I understand this completely! I've had exes where I would have to do all the date planning, all the interesting things, everything. It started to drive me crazy. Up to the point where a guy asked me out to dinner and I said "no, when you come up with something more creative you can call me back"

I don't know what to tell you, it's hard to change people. Maybe give him nudges in the right direction. Say something like "oh wouldn't it be fun to do _________" Then maybe he'll get the hint and bring it up later?

Good luck!

[blanches]

Actually I did that method too, not working tho..
Now thinking to end the relationship. I am tired and frustrated to keep this relationship. What do you think?
Friends say i should stick with him, nice guy and would never betray me.

[LadyMarchHare]

If you're not satisfied with the relationship and you feel you've done all you possibly can to salvage it, then it's your choice on whether or not to end it. I know a lot of guys don't take hints at all and you have to be very direct with them, it could also be he's more suitable as a follower than a leader which, considering society likes dictating men as the leader is not always a good thing. Have you tried telling him directly what frustrates you and what you wish he'd do instead of dropping hints or whatnot? Repetition's also good, repeating it here and there in a talk because people tend to forget. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't stay with him, that decision, again, is up to you, but unless you feel and know you've done everything to get some granule of satisfaction from the relationship on this forefront and failed, you should at least try if you still have feelings for him.

[TknandLvnIt]

Give him suggestions and then have him choose out of those and pick a day and time etc...give him something to start with maybe that's the issue. My SO doesn't always know how but this coming date night we are looking for a job for me...lol sounds boring but I really need one it helps that he cares and it will be funny to see what kinds of things he thinks I'd be good at. It doesn't always have to be a mushy date...sometimes it can be practical...hope it helps a bit.

[blanches]

Ladymarchhare: i still want to fight for this relationship, but I dont know how. When we had our fight, I tell him directly my expectation.
Tknandlvnit:this activity would be fun of your partner decides to help out without questioning. When I was jobless I ask nicely if he could suggest some work that I could do and maybe he can send me some links, but he refuse to do soand the reason was he dont know how to search for me. I am very mad at him and we had a fight.

I think this is due to age gap between me and my bf. He's one year old younger than me.