What would you do if...

[MrsExPrez]

So, I know this is kind of a morbid question, but it sprung to mind from not hearing from my SO occasionally. This question is more geared towards online relationships in which you haven't met each other yet, but I suppose other people could answer.

What would you do if your SO died? How soon do you think you would be informed? In your current situation, do you think anyone from their life would know to inform you? How would you deal with such a tragedy?

I suppose it has been on my mind because if it ever were to happen, it would be an odd thing to mourn. You know you love them, you know how they speak, how they look, how they react to different things, but you wouldn't notice the physical absence of them. It would just be as if you randomly never talked again. I dunno, interesting to me at least and wanted to hear what everyone thought.

[folclor]

For me I started out in an online relationship but if he were to die at this point either his sister or his best friend would tell me either via Facebook or IM. Or, because I'm in his phone's address book, they might call me. but if that were to happen I'd be devastated. I'd likely need months or more of therapy to learn to function.

[Alisz]

Death hasn't really crossed my mind and I prefer not to think about it. But I have thought about if a horrible accident were to occur (I hope not *knock on wood*) what would happen. I'm certain his mother or sister would let me know. And considering we're as glued to each other as you can be hundreds of miles apart, I would know something was up if I didn't hear from him for a day. Unfortunately, I can't be as confident on my end. My family and I have a bad history with online relationships. In that they don't understand it and don't consider it a "real relationship." I've brought him up a few times, but none of them really took much interest. Sadly, I don't think they'd inform him and it would have to be me telling them to or him calling to see if I was ok.

I do have a story. It's unfortunate and sad. Warning for suicide.

When I lived with an ex years ago his roommate was dating a guy she met online. He came up once for the holidays and we all met him. We thought he was ok, if not kinda strange. He told us a few times that he believed in, "living hard and dying young." At the time we thought he was kidding around and the roommate didn't seem too bothered by it. Eventually they broke up, but still talked online. She sent him an IM and got a reply back that it was his mother. Apparently she was contacting people on his friend's list because he had committed suicide. Understandably, the roommate was quite upset over it. His mother knew they had dated and wondered if she wanted any of his stuff sent to her. It was really surreal. We tried to comfort her as best as we could given the circumstances. A few months go by and the roommate gets word that her ex is actually alive. That some RL friends of his accidentally let it slip they had been hanging out with him the other night. I honestly don't know what happened or what was real or not. And I guess that's the point. I actually don't know if he did die or if he lied. His attitude towards life tells me that it's true, but at the same time he was a compulsive liar.

[MrsExPrez]

Well it's good to know that someone would inform you. Do you have a good relationship with both of them?

[MrsExPrez]

Wow alisz! I would be pissed the hell off if I found out I was lied to about something to that degree.

And I am sort of in the same situation as you, I don't really have anyone that would inform him of my death if it were to happen. It's upsetting to imagine someone wondering for the rest of their life what happened to their online SO. "did they die? did they just move on? was there a family tragedy?" etc. I suppose eventually you might research news in the area and what not, but even that could be unreliable.

[samglam209]

@Alisz- An ex of a friend did that to her once and THEN a guy with the same name as him got hit by a car. EVERYONE thought it was him. It was quite the ordeal.

Since my boyfriend and I started as CD his mom would definitely be calling me. It would be extremely hard but ya if anything happened to him I'd hear and if anything happened to me my cousin's would be calling him.Or they'd call my parents and my parents would either call or go to his house and be like get in and drive him and themselves to the airport right away.

[OliveOyl]

Honestly, I HAVE thought about this a lot, because my SO works in a region prone to violence because of land issues (in the mountains--small pueblos) So, this region has been full of violence and killings, so unfortunately I have to think about it. (PS: he is only an elementary school teacher!!!) lol. Its ridiculous, I want him to request a different community after his 2 years are up. BUT, I think, now that I know his cousin, he would tell me. I don't think his mom would know how to get a hold of me, cell phone reception is not the same as here in LA! lol. but, I would probably either be the 1st or last to find out. believe me, when i dont hear from him for more than a day or two, i get VERY worried! I will find out one way or another, but I hope and pray for his safety a lot!!

[MrsExPrez]

Ohh I'm sorry, Olive! That must be horrible. I hope he stays safe and sound. <3

[nicole]

I gave my SO an English phone when he was over here so he can call if there is an emergency. I guess his parents would use that if something bad happened. He gave me a scare by driving drunk one time before christmas, thankfully (and luckily) he didn't have an accident, but that could have turned out so differently. The thought of being told by his Mom via facebook or something was terrible, so I got him the phone.

[FadedSunrise]

Ok I'm morbid and prone to overthinking late at night, thus this has come up in my head. I know a bunch of his friends; we're not close, but we're also in contact. At the least, his best friend would call me. And the same my best friend would call him. Heaven forbid this happening, because we're an entire ocean away...

[LostInLove]

I've met two of his closest friends as well as his family, and I know he talks about me a fair amount so I'm sure someone would think to inform me. That said, I'm not sure it would happen for a couple of days. They'd be grieving, and I'm not exactly fresh on their minds. I think maybe a day or two later when I'm texting furiously to find out why he isn't replying. As for how I'd deal with it....I don't know. I've never had to deal with anything like that before thankfully, but I can't imagine I'd take it well.

[Caitlin2009]

meh.... :/ as a person who worries alot i think about it often....i know if that happened it would kill me as well, i would die from the heartbreak alone and im not kidding i would, but her parents or some friends would tell me if something like that happened. thinking about it makes me tear up ehhhhh i just hope that doesnt happen not until were both in our 90's arguing over who stole each others false teeth lol *knocks on wood*

[Silviar]

I'm friends with my SO's family and friends on FB, so one of them, probably his mother, would tell me over facebook or Skype.

I'd mourn for a long, long time. How I would handle it, though? I don't know. Because after that is a great unknown I can't answer for.

[leonsfangirl]

I would probably get a message over Facebook from a member of his family, i dont know how quickly i'd be informed though.
I'd be lost, the few occassions we've had pretty big fights and stopped talking for a few weeks are hard enough but no know he's never coming back..... i don't know if i could handle that.
And i pray that none of us will ever have to find out how we'd react.... even thinking about it makes a lump form in my throat.

[AllieBaba]

Ugh, this is a horrible thing to think about.. but I'm sure his mom or dad would call me if something ever happened *knocks on wood* They know about our relationship and how close we are to each other so I'm pretty sure I would be one of the first people they would think about.

I love him so much and I can't imagine what I would do if he ever .............. kasdjfaisdfnaksdfads ugh. Anyways yeah it would be extremely hard.