Not getting enough?

[MrsExPrez]

Okay, so, after reading the "How often do you talk to your SO" thread, I felt kind of bad. I know one or two other people said the same thing.

It seems almost every single person talks to their partner every day. Where are all of you who don't? And for what reasons? Do you wish you could talk more, or every day even? Are you understanding of this or does it frustrate you?

I've always wanted to have more talking time with my boyfriend, but he's such a crabby pants about it. It's been the cause of our arguments, as I stated in my ridiculous blog I wrote last night.

I feel as though a lot of communication in a LDR is absolutely necessary. Lacking physical touch and affection and comfort makes talking soo important. He doesn't seem to agree with me on that too much..

BLAH I am just starting to get annoyed. Going back and forth between how much I love him, and the fact that I'm sort of unhappy with the relationship at the moment. But it's a double edged sword, I guess I would be unhappy without him too. Half a dozen in one hand, six in the other.

[FadedSunrise]

Does it count if some days are single message exchanges "Hi, how are you" "Fine, I miss you" ?. We probably have proper conversation 3-4 times a week. Not every day. There is the 16 hr time difference, his lack of reliable computer and internet, and the fact that we're both busy. I definitely wish there could be more. I wish there was time in life every week at least for a few hours of just BEING together, I wish giant flying birds existed so I could visit him conveniently across the Pacific...but I just have to accept reality as it is. I can't not be understanding of this, it would just lead to MY frustration. All I can do is understand, find other joys in life, and once in a while count the days until I walk out of Beijing International Airport and finally be in the same place as he is.

[MrsExPrez]

Haha I'm sure we all on here would love to have a giant flying bird!
..well, maybe some sort of giant frisbee aircraft or something to sit in.. the bird sounds sort of scary.

[lucybelle]

At the beginning of our relationship we would maybe email once a week, and possibly chat. No phone calls. No texts. No skype. Eventually it got to me and I wrote him a really nasty email saying that maybe being able to talk to him once a week was not enough! He got the point, apologized, bought a web cam, and now we skype 5 days a week. If you're not getting what you want out of the relationship then things need to change.

[LadyMarchHare]

It's kind of funny being the odd man...err, woman out in that thread along with a handful of others. Me, I'm so used to the rarity of our chats these days, as it's been this way since May of last year, that I think I'd explode if suddenly we were to talk every day. I'm lucky I receive replies to my texts once a week and really I'm fine when I get just that but I guess I'm just either easy to please or I've been without it so long if I got it back I don't think I'd know what to do with it. I'm also used to having to entertain myself but if I need some confirmation on something or I miss him, I do contact him and he gets back to me when he can. The only time we've ever fought about the lack of communication was when he once up and disappeared for 3 weeks and my best friend (whom I no longer speak to) convinced me he was abandoning me. Turned out he was out of town at his mom's because she'd had a diabetic episode and in the middle of it was his stepfather's death anniversary. We learned our lesson about hiding stuff from one another to cause such a gap in communication like that, but we're still pretty infrequent and while I don't like it, it's not something I can help nor can he.

[snow_girl]

I maybe skype with my boyfriend 2 times a week when I have my days off. I think that is about to change though once he gets a job and our schedules clash more. We never use the phone as its too expensive to call over seas. We make some sort of contact everyday even if its just him sending me a video from youtube he thought I would enjoy. I don't mind not talking to him everyday, I don't have enough interesting things going on in my life to talk tons two days a week, I don't know what on earth I would talk about if we talked more.

[NaNi]

I wish I could talk to my SO every day like most others on this forum. I was actually quite surprised on how many people get to do webcam every day.

My SO and I unfortunately cannot do this very often as she has limited broadband. Which is the only reason why we can't talk every day, even though we would love to.

Another thing is the 12 hour time difference, plus she's a uni student and I'm in school.

[agentholli]

ill just say it..i am a wuss..and I talk everyday well mostly every day..and when I go one day without really talking to him..i cry like a baby...so...i really would like more time with him. but thats just me!

LMH is my hero!

[Micah]

We don't talk every day, but we do text daily. I honestly don't think my SO and I could talk a few hours nightly on a webcam if we tried. Then again, we have never tried it because he's "allergic" to computers, but I digress...

We do touch base every day, but our phone conversations average about every other day. My guy isn't a huge long distance conversationalist and he is the first to admit it. In fact, during the start of our relationship, we would mainly text daily and I'd get a phone call from him once a week or once every 2 weeks. But since we texted daily and quite often, it didn't really bother me. As our relationship has progressed, we depend on one another more, enjoy hearing each other's voices, and we do talk more on the phone every other day and still text daily. BUT we only usually talk on the phone 5-45 minutes... not multiple hours like some couples on here. Our average convo is about 20 minutes and has never lasted more than 45 minutes. There are times where we will go on a roll and talk every night, but these are short spurts of time that never last or become a pattern... I don't expect that out of him because I know he doesn't like talking on the phone. Oh, and I have grown to dislike texting because I would much rather talk to him on the phone and I personally feel texting is a little too superficial sometimes. So, even though we text daily, it has slowed down because I like to save it for our phone calls.

So, I wouldn't really compare yourself to others. Every relationship requires different amounts of communication. Do what's right for you and don't worry about what's right for another relationship. We all have our own needs. If your needs aren't being met, you need to talk with your SO and make a compromise/meet in the middle. I would love to talk to my guy on the phone every day, but since he isn't a big phone guy, I limit it to every other day. I am grateful we at least communicate daily by text to touch base, and see one another on a monthly basis.

[Petersgirl]

Giant flying bird?! Lol. I dream of someone inventing the teleport!

My SO and I don't speak everyday. He's often very busy and has a son who takes up a lot of his time too. We skype* about 3 times a week. (We don't use the phone as international calls are too expensive). It would be nice to skype every night, it really would, but I'm ok with things how they are. I guess I'm used to it. I only get frustrated when I'm expecting to talk to him and looking forward to it, and then it doesn't happen for whatever reason. But at least I get a text and an email from him each day.

*I say skype - I really mean google video chat. But it's easier to say skype. lol

[milaya]

Think we and my SO talk around 3-4 times a week. Since when we're not together it means he's on a working shift. (We spend his vacations together) And on his working shifts, he works 12 hours a day, every day for 5 weeks.
Which means he's tired, stressed and doesn't have much time. We don't really have decent conversations those 5 weeks at the time.

[rivi87]

I love hearing from him ..Just to see his name come on my phone screen saying I got a text from him makes me smile. Even though we are both busy we make time for eachother throughout the day. At night depending on the situation we call eachother and say goodnight or skype. To me since we can't be close bc of distance we get closer w daily communication. :P