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ChatRoom-Cheat or not?

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    #1

    ChatRoom-Cheat or not?

    I work and live literally in jungle, like jungle with trees and no malls or movies. What i do after my work time over is, whether i read novels, went to gym or internet for browsing or chatting on chat room while waiting for my SO to get online.

    Its raining season, and its really disturbing my gym schedule or any outdoors activity like volley ball that i start to learn. I spent more time chat on public chat room with my messenger.

    Sometimes i chat with same person, sometimes not . And mostly its guys(did chat with girls on main page tho). Its just normal chat thing, tell jokes, hows thing going on, and so on. I did it just for fun, for laugh..something made me relax and kill my time before i feel sleepy. At the end i became regular on the chat room because of the weather.

    Its just came on my mind last night... is this ok? if i chat with other guy while waiting for my SO to get online or call me? is that considered as cheating?

    I love my SO very much, last thing i want is hurting him...

    I am just curious about what others think in here about chatting with other people than your SO. Do you call it cheating or not?
    Tags: chat, chat room, cheating, internet relationship, online relationship
    #2
    It should be understandable that you enjoy it in the current circumstance you are in.

    I wouldn't consider it cheating at all - unless you were saying or doing things with these men and women that would hurt your SO, or that you wouldn't want him saying to other people as well.

    Have you guys ever talked about that before? Set boundaries with each other?

    In my opinion, if a man says you aren't allowed to have other male friends.. time to RUN! :P

    I'd say to just stop worrying about it. If it guilts you that much and you're concerned, maybe bring it up with him. See what his whole take on the matter is?

    I hope that was helpful x

    Comment

      #3
      I agree with MrsExPrez, I dont think this counts as cheating!
      But honestly, I would be a bit hurt, though... I dont kow. The idea that my SO could chat with other girls makes me kind of nervous.
      If you havent talked to your SO about it I would definatly do so! So you both know if the other one thinks what is ok and what not.

      Comment

        #4
        I think so long as you're not flirting with these guys or leading them on in any way, it's not cheating. I talk to other men all the time just as my SO talks to women in and outside of work. Talking to the opposite sex and being friendly (to a point) is nothing to be ashamed about. But I agree with MissExPrez in that maybe a chat about boundaries and what you both consider cheating should be had soon just to set things straight. I agree as well that if he says "no male friends at all" that's a red flag and should be a concern as that's a sign of a controlling person.

        Comment

          #5
          Chatting to other people isn't cheating. If there's sexual activities, that's generally considered cheating, but you and your SO may not even consider that cheating if you have an open relationship.


          LFAD Book Challenge: 34/100 Complete

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by Silviar View Post
            Chatting to other people isn't cheating. If there's sexual activities, that's generally considered cheating, but you and your SO may not even consider that cheating if you have an open relationship.
            I'm going to disagree slightly. It's not just the sexual activities that are cheating. There is the emotional connection one can make via chatting with other people. Sex can be dismissed as sex - but the love, the emotional intimacy..well, that is more devastating to me.


            When we love, it isn't because the person's perfect, it's because we learn to see an imperfect person perfectly.

            True love does not worry about the distance between, for the heart and soul travels through one's words

            When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far, and no one can ever tear them apart.

            1 universe, 9 planets, 7 continents, 194 countries, 50 states and 10 provinces...and I had the privilege to meet you.

            Comment

              #7
              Originally posted by BabyGund View Post
              I'm going to disagree slightly. It's not just the sexual activities that are cheating. There is the emotional connection one can make via chatting with other people. Sex can be dismissed as sex - but the love, the emotional intimacy..well, that is more devastating to me.
              Absolutely, some people can emotionally cheat, so that's a concern as well. Keep in mind, however, you can have an emotional connection to a friend as well. Only you can gauge your feelings, OP, on that one.

              I must learn to not reply at 5:30 in the morning. I forget that I don't say everything I mean to say.


              LFAD Book Challenge: 34/100 Complete

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                #8
                My rule of thumb is that If the activity is something you wouldn't do with your SO standing behind you, It's probably cheating
                "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love " ~ Theodore Seuss Geisel.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Silviar View Post
                  I must learn to not reply at 5:30 in the morning. I forget that I don't say everything I mean to say.
                  That's why I don't turn on my computer until I've had that first cup of coffee/tea!


                  When we love, it isn't because the person's perfect, it's because we learn to see an imperfect person perfectly.

                  True love does not worry about the distance between, for the heart and soul travels through one's words

                  When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far, and no one can ever tear them apart.

                  1 universe, 9 planets, 7 continents, 194 countries, 50 states and 10 provinces...and I had the privilege to meet you.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    No, chatting with members of the opposite sex wouldn't be considered cheating, generally.

                    I think you'd know if you were doing anything inappropriate though, and if you're questioning yourself, it might be a good time to consider your recent conversations with these guys, and adjust them if they don't feel right to you. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong, just thinking it might be a good idea if it at all feels like cheating.
                    Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

                    Comment

                      #11
                      I'm not sure if I would feel comfortable with my SO chatting to many random people, but it would be okay-ish as long as it wouldn't turn all flirty.

                      Thankfully she only chats with her close friends though.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Nah, it's not cheating to talk to other guys in a chat room but.. I know my SO would be hurt or jealous if I did that, and I'd be hurt and jealous if he did so.. It all depends on your relationship really. Imo, it's not cheating until you let your emotions stray even the slightest away from your SO and towards another guy.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Online or in person, it's important to have friends and to communicate with other people. Like others have said, as long as there is no "flirty/sexual" talk I think it's perfectly fine. I talk to other people, no necessarily in chat rooms.. and the same with him. Jealousy could be a factor there though, I know I would be a bit jealous.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            I don't see it as cheating, I talk with tons of guys every day online, my closest internet friends are all guys, as long as you keep it to friendly chat and don't do anything inappropriate or that you feel uncomfortable with.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              That's not cheating, imo. I have lots of guy friends & don't do anything that would constitute as cheating. My SO also has lots of friends that are girls, I really don't worry about it. I may get a tad jealous sometimes, but I know he only wants me. However, if it's too much flirty talk then that's a problem :o

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