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Starting a new LDR... I'm so nervous!

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    Starting a new LDR... I'm so nervous!

    So, I just started a long distance relationship with my best friend. She confessed her love to me. Even though I was hesitating, I gave in since I have had a crush on her. Anyway, I'm really nervous to how it would work out.

    I've had a long distance relationship before, but that was horrible. We only ever talked over chat, and... well, we weren't really talking. Just cyberkissing and cybercuddling. Then, when we met, I thought things were great. We kissed and cuddled for real. I thought it was amazing, but was only told a week later (after spending 1000+ euros on traveling to him) that he had another lover. He apparently didn't see it as "real" as I saw it.

    Anyway, that is why I'm so nervous about this. I want to do it right this time. I did make clear to my girlfriend that I want a real relationship, not an online relationship. She agreed and said that were her intentions too, but... I'm still nervous. I try to talk to her more now (every day) and we decided to Skype every Tuesday night. I also wrote a letter, though I wasn't being very lovey-dovey. It was basically me rambling about random stuff, and in the "PS" I quickly told her "you're awesome and sooo pretty", because I only then realized I hadn't said anything like that at all. I feel like that makes it seem like I don't mean it... Ugh, I'm so afraid of doing things wrong in this relationship! I want it to work, I really do.

    Point of this all, is I think I really need some advice. I don't know how to turn a friendship into a romantic relationship. It's scary to me. I don't want it to end horribly like it did with my ex, because that would probably mean our friendship would be over. I'm just... nervous. And have no one else to talk to, because they would 1# be shocked that it's a LDR and 2# be shocked that it's a girl I'm with (I'm a girl myself too).

    #2
    a) you have to realize that your girlfriend is not your ex girlfriend.
    b) I would recommend not losing sight of the friendship. For me, having a friendship is just as important as having a romantic relationship with my boyfriend. There needs to be a good balance of the two.
    c) As hard and difficult it may be, you have to just not dwell on your past relationships and just have to trust that your girlfriend is being honest and loves you like she says she does. I struggled a lot with this, and still do from time to time because i had a reallllly horrible past few relationships before I met my current boyfriend. Be cautious, but keep your heart and mind open...

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      #3
      Im one of those people who believes you should be friends before you date, and then let other feelings develop naturally. If you're right for each other, you wont have to force that to happen.
      Just be yourself. Talk lots. Talk about what you both want out of this. There isn't a right way to do a relationship, everyone has different needs. Just take it one day at a time and have fun.
      Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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        #4
        I would recommend being honest. Not being honest is the number one way to ruin a relationship. Like Zephii said too, be sure to communicate. You don't have physical things to rely on so you have to be able to communicate with your SO. So yes. Honesty and communication are two things that I think are important.
        "I'll hold you in my heart till I can hold you in my arms again."


        "It's supposed to be hard! If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard...is what makes it great! -A League of Their Own

        Met: August 22, 2010
        Made it official: September 17, 2010
        Got engaged: January 15, 2012
        Our First Visit: November 18, 2010-November 28, 2010
        Our Seventh (and Last) Visit: November 10, 2012-November 24, 2012
        Got married: November 21, 2012
        Big Wedding Date: May 25, 2013
        Closed the Distance: June 2, 2013

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          #5
          A romantic relationship should never be a decision you have to make. The transition from friends to a loving partnership should be a smooth and natural one. Don't make a decision to be more than friends if you're more unsure about it than sure. Don't force feelings that you don't yet feel, and just be true to your heart. Be open and honest and you'll be fine.

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