Saying "forever"

[Dziubka]

My phone ate my first attempt at an answer, so here I go again:

I completely understand where you're coming from lucybelle.
Before my current one, I've already had two serious relationships (each about 2 years) and each time it was perfectly right and exactly what I wanted at the time. I loved my exes and I wouldn't want to miss the experience. If I had met my current boyfriend a few years ago, he wouldn't have become my boyfriend. If I had met one of my exes at a later time, I wouldn't have given them a chance.
However, both times we (or rather I...) broke up, because I felt that I had changed and it didn't 'fit' anymore. I'd realized I wanted different things from life and most importantly, I didn't want these things with my exes.
Now I can't guarantee a forever for me and my boyfriend. I can't tell whether I'll not change much anymore or whether I will change only in ways that won't affect my relationship or whether my boyfriend will change with me. There's never a guarantee. In a few years I might want to sail around the earth by myself, research seals in the arctic and my boyfriend might want to start a harem or become a monk. Unfortunately there's no way to know what the future holds for us.
I can't guarantee a forever, no one can. It's the normal risk that comes with life.

What I do know and tell my boyfriend, though, is what I want right now. And that is bein with him, being with him forever and having our own little, picture-book happy family.
I tell him that I want to be with him forever and I'm willing to work for that, but in the end I don't know whether we'll grow old together.

*edit:
That said: My boyfriend always says that he just knows we'll be together forever...

[sabby64]

I waited for quite a bit this time to say it, because of my ex, but now I say it no problem Brandon's the one who said it first, I thought it was really sweet and touching. Who cares if I'm only 19, I don't want to have a mindset like we're inevitably going to break up sometime, it's too depressing and sad. Noone knows if we're gonna be together forever, but that doesn't mean I'm going to treat him like he's only temporary.

[LadyEcstsasy]

My SO tells me that he'll love me "forever and always" which does mean a lot to me, but he also knows that sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. I have insecurities with the words "I love you" and "I want to be with you forever" due to two ex's who had talked about the future with me and then literally said "I love you, but I'm dumping you" and slammed doors in my face and never spoke to me ever again. It's made me doubt the solidity of love, and ever of my own feelings, so I have a hard time telling him for certain that I will love him forever. I'm young, things change, I can't see the future. I told him I'd like to continue feeling the way I do now, and I'm going to do my best to try, but I can't promise anything.

[rivi87]

well for some background I was a "commitaphobe" as it is called in the past. I take it day by day. My SO has been in a couple serious relationships and has alot more experience with it. He said he loved me first and it felt right so I said it back

That being said I am still kinda sketchy about the forever concept being as I've seen how it can go from all roses to hell in the span of a few years. My mother is on her third marriage now and I think that has alot to do with my insecurities about it seeing her struggle with her marriages.

My SO understands that and doesent pressure me by talking about the future all the time. I know his intentions and what he wants and I love him very much am open to the idea you just dont know whats going to happen...

[AllieBaba]

Noone knows if we're gonna be together forever, but that doesn't mean I'm going to treat him like he's only temporary.

I completely agree with this!
We do say forever.... I'm aware that things can change with time and we might not be together "forever and ever" but I think that this is a very positive way of looking at things. I don't know what's going to happen in the future but that's not stopping me from feeling the way I'm feeling right now and wanting to spend the rest of my life with him.

[Brandie]

My So and I say forever, because we will love each other no matter what happens. Good or bad, I'm there for him, he is there for me, you can't just break a strong love that quickly. I can truly say for myself I will love him forever.

[mllebamako]

I don't use forever as in "I will be with you forever" because really...who knows? Life can change in an instant. What I can say, with all my heart, is that my greatest desire is that I will be with him forever.

But I don't really use forever in any part of my life. Especially, after living in Muslim countries, I started to take on the idea that the future is truly unknown to us. When I talk about what I want in the future, I usually add inch'Allah or God-willing. I can pray and hope and dream and work hard...but then everything could change. I could have NEVER predicted the way my life was going to turn out so far.

[hippomambo]

After two marriages that I thought were forever I just can't say it anymore. I can say "hope" and "want" regarding forever but I can't make any statement of forever.

[threecheers9980]

Yep, we say "forever and ever."

[Dauntedpoet]

"I will always be your best friend, I will always want you to be happy, I will always love you, I may get hurt and be angry, but there is NOTHING that a sincere apology and some time won't fix"

that would be a yes, I guess.

[vpavelock]

Only you know what's in your heart. If "forever and ever" isn't what comes to mind instantly when you look at him, you're best holding off with saying it. If you tell your SO that you care about him but can't quite put your guard down yet, I think he'll understand, but just remember at some point you'll have to let him in or leave. My SO almost ended up leaving me because I had this mentality that we'd end, because I knew we'd have to end up LD and I didn't want that, but in reality I wanted it to last as much as he did. i just the important thing is that you let you SO in enough to understand where you're coming from, and where your fear derives.

[milaya]

I do not say forever.
My SO often asks me if I'll love him for ever or until when I'll love him, I always answer that I don't know. Because I believe that you really don't know, people change and such. And guess I've seen too many couples declare eternal love and then break up later on. Maybe I don't believe in loving somebody forever.

Instead I've want to take one day at the time, which also made me start using a certain phrase. : 今日も愛してるよ。"I love you today as well."
Then I just hope that those days will last to forever.

[TknandLvnIt]

My SO and I do say forever and always. I believe it will happen because I believe we were made for each other simple as that. Things could go badly and we could change but I know that we will both fight for our relationship and that knowledge helps me to be more certain. But like was mentioned before we don't control the future so prayer is a big part of our relationship because its not up to us its up to God.

[Emma-Louise]

Forever&Always.. Always said. Always meant.

[Butterfly]

Yep. I say it. I mean it.