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Where do we fit in?

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    Where do we fit in?

    I'm sure I saw another thread like this not too long ago, but I can't find it.

    Anyways, what brought this up was there are two separate dances going on at my school for Valentine's Day. One is a nice dinner and cabaret thing for couples, and the other is a Valentine's Day Sucks dance for singles.

    What if you're neither of those? Where do people in LDR's fit in? I have a boyfriend but he's not here, so does that qualify me as a single person or a couple just missing one person?

    It's frustrating, because none of my friends are in this situation. I've got couple friends and single friends, and I don't want to be a third wheel or considered another single girl. No wonder I never go out unless Brandon's here, it's too confusing.

    #2
    If you have to pick, I'd go with the Valentines Day Sucks, not because of the single aspect, but because it does when you can't be with the one you love! Go, and get some enjoyment out of making fun of the day, instead of moping around because you're alone. Don't worry or care about looking single, since you aren't and can easily tell anyone that. In an LDR, Valentine's Day does kinda suck, might as well try making yourself feel better about it.
    Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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      #3
      Yeah i'd say go for the valentines day sucks one! If you go to the couply one it would prob be very depressing being surrounded by lots of lovey dovey couples. I found it odd at first going out and neither being part of a couple or single but you should really try it more often. I find it very liberating to go out with my friends and not think about men ha, it can help develop your own confidence and independance too - and that's never a bad thing!

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        #4
        Originally posted by Moon View Post
        If you have to pick, I'd go with the Valentines Day Sucks, not because of the single aspect, but because it does when you can't be with the one you love!

        I was going to write exactly the same. I'd go for the Vday sucks, because yes... it does, when you can't be with your SO. And a date-style evening, when you don't have a date, is guaranteed to be no fun, anyway.

        I don't like going out without my boyfriend either, though

        Być tam, zawsze tam, gdzie Ty.

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          #5
          Yeah, a few weeks ago the "coupled" friends of my group decided they wanted to do a quadruple date; the single ones or ones in LDRs got together the same night "to show them"! Hahaha!

          We went to dinner and bowling and it was just a great time with friends. I'd probably go with them to the Valentine's Day Sucks, because it does; The Boy is not here.


          When we love, it isn't because the person's perfect, it's because we learn to see an imperfect person perfectly.

          True love does not worry about the distance between, for the heart and soul travels through one's words

          When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far, and no one can ever tear them apart.

          1 universe, 9 planets, 7 continents, 194 countries, 50 states and 10 provinces...and I had the privilege to meet you.

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            #6
            Originally posted by sabby64 View Post
            What if you're neither of those? Where do people in LDR's fit in? I have a boyfriend but he's not here, so does that qualify me as a single person or a couple just missing one person?

            It's frustrating, because none of my friends are in this situation. I've got couple friends and single friends, and I don't want to be a third wheel or considered another single girl. No wonder I never go out unless Brandon's here, it's too confusing.
            I have the same problem not just with Valentine's Day, but with everything. I have single friends and friends in relationships and I always feel a bit odd because I'm not sure exactly where I fit in to everything. My friends in relationships go out with their boyfriends and my single friends go trolling for men so here I am...stuck in the middle.

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              #7
              I'd go to the Valentine's Day Sucks thing. That way you don't have to witness people in love and miss your boyfriend even more. Or, I'd stay home and rent romantic movies and eat chocolate, which is my plan!

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                #8
                i just wanted to say - you shouldn't feel bad about being a third wheel. People like being friends with you for a reason, you don't have to have an SO attached at the hip for them to want to hang out with you. I know it's natural to feel that way, but you have to let yourself overcome it.


                LFAD Book Challenge: 34/100 Complete

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                  #9
                  I've actually been banned from my friend's valentine's dinner because I have a boyfriend... who I can't see. Nice. I would have quite happily gone for some company; one friend understands that and wanted me to be an exception but the other has put her foot down....

                  I would go to the Valentine's day sucks too. As it does atm

                  <3 The day we met : 10.31.2009
                  <3 Our first Date: 11.04.2009
                  The Day we went long distance: 08.08.2010
                  <3 He came to England: 12.27.2010-01.07.2011
                  <3 My trip to Ohio: 5.29.2011-6.09.2011
                  Our first Christmas visit: 12.23.2011-1.7.2011
                  Distance closed: 2.29.2012!!!!!!!!

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by nicole View Post
                    I've actually been banned from my friend's valentine's dinner because I have a boyfriend... who I can't see. Nice. I would have quite happily gone for some company; one friend understands that and wanted me to be an exception but the other has put her foot down....

                    I would go to the Valentine's day sucks too. As it does atm
                    Ouch. that sounds kinda harsh O.o


                    OP, I'd go for the Valentine's Day sucks-option as well.. not that I'm gonna celebrate Valentines myself - it exists in Denmark and is slowly becoming a more common tradition, but tbh I've never really been that much into it..

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                      #11
                      You are in a relationship so I guess it would be weird to go to either but it could be fun to hang out with folks...just because you are at a singles event doesn't mean you are there to meet someone. I personally am a huge fan of Valentine's Day always have been and was only in a relationship for two of them....so yeah but The chocolate and a romantic movie with My SO sounds lovely :-) as an alternative and we are planning on opening our gifts to each other together on Skype. I'd do the singles one or do something with your other half

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                        #12
                        Do you really need a title to define your relationship and who you are and how you pass your time? Hell no.

                        Just go out and have fun. Don't worry about "fitting in" to a group or category. Be yourself. Go to the couples thing with a friend girlfriend and have fun hitting on each other all night. Or go to the VDay sucks and enjoy the attention from the opposite sex. You're not the category. You're yourself.

                        Do you understand where I'm going with this?

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                          #13
                          Sorry to hear that! I chose just not going to the dances. It doesn't matter when he's not there and I wouldn't want to be a third wheel to my other friends.
                          I do have one friend who is in a LDR also but fortunately for her she chose to close it next year! It's hard beause other people truely don't know what we LDR's go through...I always take it though that since nobody can really help me in my situation, I'll just help others. I feel like I have valuable input because of the LDR and it's better than nothing!
                          Sorry about the dance. I would plan a date with your SO instead. I'm sure that sounds much more appealing to you also

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                            #14
                            I'd go with the Valentine's Day Sucks dance.

                            "Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches."

                            Like a drum, my heart never stops beating for you.

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by Mara View Post
                              I have the same problem not just with Valentine's Day, but with everything. I have single friends and friends in relationships and I always feel a bit odd because I'm not sure exactly where I fit in to everything. My friends in relationships go out with their boyfriends and my single friends go trolling for men so here I am...stuck in the middle.
                              You don't have ANY friends in an LDR? A few of my friend's are. Although they're in San Diego. One's boyfriend lives up in Washington cause he's in the military and the other's guy is joining the military soon and a lot of people at my school are in LDR's also. I find at college it's fairly common cause people leave their SO's behind or go to different colleges but don't want to break up.

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