*cry* I feel so stupid...but I can't help itl!

[8983MilesofLove]

Ughhhhhhh. I feel like such a selfish jealous b****. My boyfriend's going to his friends 21st next month...and it's going to be wild/crazy etc. I know what this friend is like...there are gonna be hundreds of people there, everyones gonna be drunk/rolling around in alcohol, and everyones gonna be hooking up and *ahem*.
I'm so worried that my SO's gonna get drunk and do something stupid and hurt me
I trust him but I don't trust alcohol, I don't trust his friend and I don't trust the hundreds of people going to this party. Arghhh! I literally feel like crying! I feel so stupid but I can't help feeling like this. I'm a really jealous person as it is and I'm terrified he's gonna cheat on me (I was cheated on in a previous relationship).

I could actually scream right now. I don't know what to do. Do any of you ever have issues like this or feel like this!?

[Rugger]

Sweetie as hard as it is, You need to trust him. A relationship doesn't exist without trust. I would also tell him that you are a little bit apprehensive about this party, mostly about the alcohol that is going to be involved.

You could also ask him to text or call you at different points in the night. Personally, If I know my boyfriend's in a situation like that, I send him sexy pictures so he keeps his mind on me and knows what he's missing. But I'm a bitch like that

[KatyCakes10]

I've definitely felt like this because I cant get pretty jealous also. But as Rugger said before me, and especially when it's long distance you are going to have to trust him. Have you asked him if he could maybe limit his drinking? I have asked my SO when he goes out to watch how much he drinks because he knows I'm very sensitive about drinking, for a good reason. Did you tell him how you're feeling? I hope you feel better!!

[Yorkshire Girl]

Whether you are here or you are there, if he is going the be unfaithful he will be. Thats why you have to trust him. The main basis of a relationship is trust.

I know exactly how you feel, I felt like this during the first couple of years we were together. When ever he went to a party or anything I would get really jealous and start panicking. But then I realised that he wants to be with me. And now I dont mind at all what he does, as long as he enjoys his life and remains faithful to me. And due to this our relationship is so much stronger.

[sabby64]

You just have to trust him, but I would ask him to text you once an hour or something just to let you know how things are if it is really bothering you I would also find something to distract yourself with that night, like a big movie marathon or a game or something to keep your mind off of where he is, because worrying about it isn't going to do anything except make you stressed out. I've had nights like that too, and the best thing you can do is just keep a smile on, find something to do and whatever you do, don't complain to your SO because it will just annoy him and he might ignore you for the night if he finds that you are bringing him down, which will make everything worse.

[BabyGund]

I want to know why do you feel this way? Why are you such a jealous person? What about your SO do you feel you cannot trust him? Why do you feel you have to hold the past discretion of a previous SO over this SO? Answering some of these questions may help with your anxiety over this situation, so you can feel more in control.

But remember, you cannot control your SO; you can only control yourself. Worry is a waste of time & imagination. Worry doesn't exist; it's created. - Kevin Smith

[kat4301]

I def. agree with everyones suggestions, especially the movie marathon. Something that helps me when my boyfriend goes out is to get the phone number of a close friend who is also going out with him that night, its something I wish I had when one time my boyfriend went out and got really sick and everyone thought he was drunk and I was upset and worried the whole night that he was purposely ignoring me and drinking a ton. But I do know that trust in itself is much easier said than done no matter what has or hasn't happened.

[prinzeza87]

~ There is no greater glory than love, nor any greater punishment than jealousy. ~ and im not saying that being jealous is a bad thing, at some point it is ok n normal to be, im a jealous person too, but im learning how n when to be jealous. u r worring too much over something that has'nt even happen yet n that u dnt even knw if it will happen. as everybody said it to u, jst trust him n dnt struggle urself n find somthing to do to leave the anxiety behind. good luck n take a deep breath.

[Miramaid]

You are not the only one feeling that way. Read my thread here https://members.lovingfromadistance.c...something-else

I know exactly how you feel. I also know that in an ideal world two people should not be worried about things like that, but this world is not ideal and people seem to follow the trend of TV shows and bad movies too much...

[toggle]

Don't be hard on yourself...it's natural to be a bit jealous and sometimes our emotions are irrational. I don't know how your SO would react if you told him how you are feeling, but I know that when I mention something like this to my SO he always reassures me andI feel better. Then it's also a huge amount of guilt for having these feelings lifted off of your shoulders. I am sure there are times he feels a bit jealous too, it's human nature.

[Caitlin2009]

if you trust him fully you know he's not gonna do anything, and i doubt he will. just try to relax and trust him

[8983MilesofLove]

I forgot all about this thread! Ok so it was alright he went to the party and all was fine, he went with some friends and actually didnt stay long and ended up going roung to a friends house and they all just sat there drinking and talking all night lol!
Soooo closing thread

Thank you all for your support!