Am I wrong?

[Emma-Louise]

So. I've been fighting with my SO since yesterday evening..

He asked me if I thought other guys were attractive and I said that I acknowledged that there are good looking guys in the world but he's the best and I only want him. And I only said it because had I said no, it would be a lie, and I didn't want to be dishonest.

But now, he's telling me that he's not sure I love him because I could just be attracted to other guys and "how can that be if I'm in 'love' with someone else" < his words.

I'm just. I don't know what to say.. Am I wrong..?

Am I the only one who thinks that other guys AND I'D LIKE TO POINT OUT GIRLS TOO are attractive in the world?

[Silviar]

Explain it like this: "Being attractive is different than me being attracted to them. Being attractive is how someone is seen, being attracted to someone is how I feel, a chemistry, and the only one I have feelings for is you."

And between us LFADer's, on a purely practical level, his argument is stupid. If you're going to end up liking someone else, there's nothing he could do about it anyways. That's just like saying "because divorce happens I'm never going to get married." One never enters into ANYTHING without the risk that it could be lost.

[Silviar]

Explain it like this: "Being attractive is different than me being attracted to them. Being attractive is how someone is seen, being attracted to someone is how I feel, a chemistry, and the only one I have feelings for is you."

And between us LFADer's, on a purely practical level, his argument is stupid. If you're going to end up liking someone else, there's nothing he could do about it anyways. That's just like saying "because divorce happens I'm never going to get married." One never enters into ANYTHING without the risk that it could be lost.

[toggle]

Of course you still find other guys attractive- it's human nature. And then where's the boundary? Are you not allowed to say a movie star is attractive? Your SO sounds a bit insecure.

[toggle]

and plus there is a huge difference between simple physical attraction and being in love...

[Emma-Louise]

Well I only meant Actors...? But he's taking it way too sensitively and I'm in tears..

[toggle]

Personally I think he is overreacting...I'm sure he will realize this soon enough! If you have been together over a year I am sure this is just a small thing that will be resolved. I think it's unrealistic to expect somebody not to notice other people's attractiveness. Like I said, it's human nature.

[sabby64]

No, you're not wrong. I tell Brandon other guys are hot all the time... He usually laughs and agrees with me, joking how he'd tap that or something...

I think he has some insecurity issues to deal with.

[sabby64]

No, you're not wrong. I tell Brandon other guys are hot all the time... He usually laughs and agrees with me, joking how he'd tap that or something...

I think he has some insecurity issues to deal with.

[Caitlin2009]

well hell he asked, if he didnt want the answer he shouldnt have asked! No your not wrong, hell i see good looking guys/girls all the time i'll say something to Denise about it and she'll do the same, if we see a good looking guy or girl were gonna acknowledge it but thats all, its not like were gonna tackle that person to the ground and have sex with them, your bf needs to not worry and not be so insecure

[milaya]

Nothing wrong at all.
Being attracted to somebody, doesn't mean that you would like to date that certain person and it certainly doesn't mean you're in love with anyone.

I often joke with my SO about such things. Like saying... "[famous person] is so hot... he's just my type..." and then my SO will just have a jokingly comeback. There's no need to be jealous. Human nature.

[Moon]

Wow, he's reacting like that over actors??? Awww, honey, that's a big, huge, red flag He sounds like he's really got some issues, you aren't doing anything wrong at all, everybody has actors, rock stars, pro athletes, or whatever that they find attractive - Everybody. I think you need to stand up for yourself here, and don't give in and start apologizing, saying you were wrong, whatever you do. I'm in love, but attractive people are attractive people, the world has millions of 'em, but it doesn't mean I want them. Good luck, and don't be afraid to stick up for yourself.

[mllebamako]

I agree with everyone else here: he is overreacting. You are allowed to find other people attractive, it means your human. It's like looking at art. You can see a painting a know that it's beautiful...but that doesn't mean you're going to leave your boyfriend and cuddle up to the Monet haha okay that's a weird example but you know...

Stick up for yourself on this one. And remind him that HE is the one you chose to be with!

[ms3]

I agree with all the previous posters: This is completely normal, and he shouldn't worry about you telling him that!

I'm actually happy to hear this from a girl, since my SO is quite "conservative" and doesn't like it when I find other women (physically) attractive, which never means that I would prefer them over my SO!

[MeeshaLenee]

Yup, what everyone else said! I especially like the art analogy, that is a truly excellent way of looking at it.

It's totally normal to think other people are attractive, because you know, sometimes they are really good-looking! I call it "eye-candy." Nothing more, nothing to be worried about, nothing abnormal.