I don't really know what's wrong. I'm not sure if its just the spark gone from the relationship. I'm not sure if its more of my problem or his, but I don't know if I can keep going anymore. I don't feel like I even have a boyfriend anymore.
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Maybe you both need some time to think things over? Have you not been talking much lately? Are you both really busy?
If you're both just quiet whenever you talk that's not necessarily a sign that the spark is gone, you're bound to run out of subjects to talk about after spending enough time together. It's hard to give much advice since your post wasn't very specific but this could be just a speed bump along the road or maybe you've grown apart, I don't really know. But you need to think how you have helped this situation get to this point and try to work on things and then tell him to do the same, maybe with some compromising and communication you can still overcome your issues and find that spark again.
I hope things work out for you!
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its hard to really like...pinpoint an exact issue because yes, it has been difficult to find topics to talk about because we've ran out of subjects, but I think I'm going through personal issues and I'm constantly questioning everything everyday. I can't really talk about issues or doubts or problems with him anymore because he thinks all I do is harp on the negative and I just "choose" to be irritable or I "choose" to look at things a negative way, and last time I talked about issues with him it gave him a "headache".
He makes fun of me or says little comments that normally I can laugh at and brush off, and I just get upset and annoyed now. We don't talk on video much anymore and we rarely talk as much, lately I've been going to bed early or just making excuses not to talk because usually the conversation ends up being pointless anyway. I always feel like no matter what, even little things, he has to be "right", whether its a big issue like our opinions on gay marriage or something as small as he thinks dogs are better than cats. The tiniest things are starting to drive me crazy and I feel like he makes no effort.
He dosnt care about valentines day and I can guarantee he wont even acknowledge the day. The other day we had our 19 month "anniversary" and when I told him he said "so? 19 months isnt really that important". And I feel like he cares more about himself than me most of the time. It's not even about going overboard about celebrating, but when I tell him something and all I get is a reply that makes me feel stupid for bringing it up, its like, why bother? It's not like he dosnt love me, but he dosnt make any effort anymore to please anyone but himself and its frustrating. I'm hoping that things will change when I see him in about a month but it gets harder and harder for me every day. I didn't even say i loved him back when we got off AIM today. Is it just all in my head?Comment
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It sounds like the two of you are going through a rough patch and you are going through some difficult issues of your own. Have you tried talking to him about the way you feel in regards to your relationship? Relationships can only work if both people are willing to work at it. I don't think these are things that are huge issues, but over time if they aren't resolved I could see how they could get the better of you. I'm sure your SO loves you and doesn't mean to make you feel stupid or anything else for sharing things with him, but maybe he doesn't realize the effect his words are having on you.
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I agree with the previous opinions talk to him about how you are feeling in the relationship...I don't think you will enjoy the visit very much if you are already frustrated with him. It sounds like you are in a rough patch...maybe find someone else to talk about what's going on with you or explicitly tell him hey I'm not looking for your opinion or for you to be optimistic I just want to vent. I personally am an optimist and I really have to check myself so that I don't go into fix it mode. Tell him how what he is saying and how he acts makes you feel maybe even write a letter before hand so you can get your thoughts and feelings sorted out first. I hope you two are able to work this outComment
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You know I had a smiliar phase not too long ago... Few months before he moved here I was constantly depressed and didn't find any of his jokes funny, the things that normally made me smile started to make me cry and that was really hard for him cause eventually he got annoyed and angry at me for always being so negative and I was. I never saw anything positive about anything even if I tried.Originally posted by stacyrose View Post
I think you guys could do with some alone time IMO, just not talk for a little while and try to get your thoughts straight. Also you could write down everything you wanna say to him and mail it to him so that he HAS to read all you've gotta say and he will have time to understand and reply to it over time. It's easier than talking about it on a chat cause you have time to rephrase what you wanna say without sounding harsh, selfish, rude or mean.
Everyone has rough patches from time to time, things can't always be smooth and happy and wonderful... You just gotta give your relationship some time to heal up. But it never will unless you BOTH make the effort to make it work.
Maybe you could agree that you'll talk about all your issues once you're together? That way you can push the negative things at the back of your mind for the time being and just enjoy each other's company without feeling like there's a huge weight on your shoulders.
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