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I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

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    #1

    I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

    He visited this weekend but it was kind of a sucky visit.(He's still here actually, He has a phone interview then deciding whether he's staying here, going home or going to LI) I know that he's struggling with getting a job, what he wants to do yada yada yada. I know he's stressed, but he spent a lot of the weekend on his computer or his phone. I know he's trying to figure things out, so I tried to be accommodating, give him some peace.

    ALLL he talks about is getting a job and moving out. To where he doesn't know. There is a HUGE pull for him to go to NC, because his friends are there. Personally I can't understand why he would want to more FARTHER away from me. We talked about it a bit yesterday. He started with " I know you don't want me to go..." HELL YEAH I don't want you to go. We've been in an LDR FOR 8 AND HALF FUCKING MONTHS!. I thought we ended that when you moved here. You went home for Christmas, promised to come back and didn't. I tried not to get upset because I know how much you hated sitting alone in my house. I tried because it was what was best for you.

    I will NOT do NC, I can't. My heart is breaking already that you don't see a problem with this. I think you are taking for granted that I'll wait. I will not wait while you go and fuck around with your friends, especially your best friend. He doesn't like me at all. I don't care what you say. He's never said anything nice to me ever. I think he's jealous that you are up here with me instead of throwing your life away with him. At least he told you not to come down for now because there are no jobs. Instead now you want to spend the summer there.... Oh Joy. Let's make it even harder for us to see each other. I have an Asst. Directors job at camp. I can't leave as much as I want, but at least I can drive six hours once and awhile. By you going to NC for the summer, I can't. I've told you all of these things, but you have answers ready. You'll visit me!

    I don't know what to do anymore guys. He's lost and frustrated and confused, and I'm just heartbroken.
    "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love " ~ Theodore Seuss Geisel.
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    #2
    hell i wouldnt stand for that either, i mean you guys closed the distance before and now he wants to go further away from you :/ that doesnt make any sense, basically if he moves farther away if that was me it would be over, no point in in staying in a relationship that you know is not gonna go anywhere

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      #3
      Oh no...((((hugs)))) Im sorry for you :-(
      I also dont see any sense why he should go further away from you.
      Yes friends are important but I can see it by myself right now...if something serious is coming up or they found a bf/gf most of them are gone, you know!?

      He really should move CLOSER to you...try to talk to him, take your time and make sure you two have enough time to discuss everything. I know, you must have disscused it already for many many times but yes..

      Im so sorry Rugger x

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        #4
        It sounds like he really takes you for granted, and that's not fair. I'm not sure I'd continue the relationship if he moves further away. It would be one thing if he got some fantastic job offer, just out of the blue, then he'd kind of have to go, but to move further because his friends are there is showing a lot of immaturity.

        Being taking for granted is awful. Don't let him do it to you.
        Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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          #5
          Why can't he get a job there? where you live? or why can't you two move to a town not too far that actually has jobs? What guy who was in love with ever want to move FURTHER away from their SO? Sounds to me like he needs a big reality check or you shouldn't even waste your time with that shit.

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            #6
            He's tried to get a job here, but there's really nothing. There's also nothing where he lives. I cant move out yet because I don't have enough money to. After the summer (I'll be getting my paralegal cert during this time). I'm perfectly willing to move to be with him. But I can't if he doesn't know where he's going to end up.

            I've tried to talk to him about it, but as I said, he doesn't see the problem with it.
            "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love " ~ Theodore Seuss Geisel.

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              #7
              It sounds to me like he's so frustrated that he can only see the circle he's running around it. It's hard for him to see the forest for the giant-assed unemployment tree.

              I really hope you can talk about the important of short and longterm priorities with this, and help him understand where you're coming from, but it'll be difficult if all he can see is "NO MONEY OMG".


              LFAD Book Challenge: 34/100 Complete

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                #8
                You know, I have a close friend who does this often and she's just seeing the problem with it. She moves and moves and moves always hoping to move to some place better (usually in some area where she has friends/family) where it might be easier for her to find a better job. The truth of it is, jobs are scarce right now. Moving from place to place to place isn't going to fix that. If anything, your SO should look for jobs in the area that you live and around the area you live and in any area that would be close to you. If he can't find anything there, then look somewhere else, but him going further away from you with not even a job lined up? I'm sorry, but that is very inconsiderate and it sounds also kind of immature.

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                  #9
                  It seems like he's so concerned about getting a job anywhere and not as concerned about getting a job that's close to you. Have you tried looking for jobs for him?

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                    #10
                    He's been looking for jobs where I live. He technically has two freelance jobs but they have yet to call him. He needs something to get by but every kid of job is scarce. I've offered to get him a job where I work, but those aren't until the summer. He had a phone interview today so hopefully they'll at least give him a chance
                    "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love " ~ Theodore Seuss Geisel.

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