Oh wow..
So I'm 17 years old and I've been with this guy since I was 14. Please don't tell me that I'm too young to be in love, because you can fall in love at any age. I've been dating this guy since January 3rd 2008, we didn't see each other until June 2010. Before we first saw each other I only broke up with him once, for 2 months? I kept thinking of him though, I went to this river, sat down, and cried. I was really confused. I was dating another guy. Thing was, I couldn't even bring myself to kiss this other guy. Because it just felt wrong..This other guy also told me he could tell I was in love with someone else, he said he saw it in my eyes. So I went back with my boyfriend. I stayed faithful, until a few weeks of my boyfriend being with me in person. I feel guilty about what I did, I regret it and I still think about it even though it was months ago. Even though, my boyfriend forgave me for it. But we all make mistakes right? But after I got over the guy I cheated with(it was over the internet not in rl or anything, I could never bring myself to do that). We did everything together, baths, held each other while watching tv, went to the library together, even slept in the same bed together. In August 2010, my boyfriend was diagnosed with Leukemia(blood cancer). Oh my..my heart broke right there. I was in the ER with him when he found out, we thought it just broke his leg or something. I ran out of the room crying because I just couldn't believe it. I had to go home without him that night, it was terrible I cried myself to sleep. He was moved to a different hospital and I went up there every single day from 10am-11pm. Even when he was on the breathing machine and couldn't talk, didn't even know I was there. I was the only one there, since he came here to my state, I held his hand brushed his hair back and sang our song to him. The only time I left him was to use the bathroom. The nurses kept telling me "Go home sweetie, get some rest, take a nice bath." I said each time, "I can't leave him..." In September 2010, he had to go back home, without me. And we are still together at this moment, and I don't have eyes for any other guy but him. I have something to ask though, why do I keep thinking I don't love him..? I mean we sleep on the microphone every night together, he snores loud=). We laugh together, we do alot of stuff together that we are able to do. Everything, together. And when I'm not home I text him constantly. But I keep thinking I don't love him, and whenever I think it, my heart aches. It's really bothering me too. Could it be my anxiety or depression?If you read this whole thing..thanks for taking your time.
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