Guys, help please...

[Hannahbaby16]

Hey guys :\

So, i've been dating my SO for 7 months. We are having problems. Lately, when we text each other and i give him (as he puts it, a "one word reply") he gets pissed. He takes my one word answers as something being "wrong" and ends the convo.

For example: if he asks what's wrong and i say "nothing is wrong" he automaticaly assumes something is wrong..


BUT now, when something REALLY is wrong and i'm sad or depressed or something, he just says "w.e" because i don't give him a straight answer and we end up not talking for the rest of the night.

Geesh, i'm a girl..give me a break.

What do you guys suggest we do?
It's literally TEARING us apart.

[snow_girl]

You could try to give him longer replies even if it doesn't require one, or you could stop texting each other and use another mode of communication instead.

[LadyMarchHare]

Have you done anything to give him a reason not to trust you when you say nothing's wrong? I know some girls (and guys) will play off their problems and make people work for the truth and other times it's the truth. It's even harder to tell via text because there's no voice intonation, no way to tell either way. I also think it's rude of him to act concerned one moment then blow you off when you need him, that to me says he either thinks something's up with you or there's something going wrong on his end. Either way I think a serious talk, maybe an actual phone conversation, is in order. If he ignores you then that's on him and it just shows how mature he is.

[Micah]

I agree with LMH - I think that you should call him on the phone and talk. Too much can be misinterpreted by text message. I think that would prevent a lot of misunderstandings.

[Hannahbaby16]

Yeah i agree that we should talk on the phone, but, the thing is he doesn't have unlimited minutes. Just unlimited texting. :\
I don't wanna waste his minutes cause his mom uses his phone too...they aren't the richest people right now. He has a life threatening disease and they don't even have enough money right now to get him a re-fill on his medicine!

[TknandLvnIt]

You can talk online for free on oovoo. You don't even have to download it as long as you have internet you can use it or google talk. I think a lot of stuff gets misconstrued over text and so any form of communication where you aren't limited by a character count is better than that. My SO sometimes does the same thing if my voice sounds a little different he thinks I'm upset or if I don't give wordy responses...that's how he knows I am upset if I'm not I always send smileys and use pet names. He just has to learn your text style and if that's the only way you can talk make sure that you distinguish between how you talk to him when you are upset and when you are not so that he doesn't have to guess.

[Alisz]

I agree with finding some way to talk vocally. I don't know what your situation is, but I find people have less misunderstandings with text if they know how they talk. It just helps to hear their voice in your head as you're reading. At least for me it does and it can match with how they would've said something. Some people also talk differently than how they type. I have a friend who does this. I've known her since high school and whenever I chat with her online I swear it's like talking to a completely different person than when we're on the phone. :/

[Jrapp]

This same type of thing happens with my SO and I. She is the kind of person that expects me to know if something is wrong, so she'll always say nothing. On skype and the phone I can tell whether she's being truthful or not. In text it can be incredibly hard!! She also uses one word answers sometimes...which drive me crazy. Texting is a great and easy way to stay in touch, but my SO and I have had more fights and arguments just because things get misinterpreted in text that I would suggest using video chatting or the phone as much as you possibly can! It would save you a lot of hassle I believe. Good luck Hannah, I hope your SO does well also /:

[paulawriteslove]

Yeah i agree that we should talk on the phone, but, the thing is he doesn't have unlimited minutes. Just unlimited texting. :\
I don't wanna waste his minutes cause his mom uses his phone too...they aren't the richest people right now. He has a life threatening disease and they don't even have enough money right now to get him a re-fill on his medicine!

When you text try to use smiley faces to show how you're feelings. Also, try to write longer texts to show to him that you're okay.

[Miramaid]

if my SO gives me one word answers I too think smth is wrong and if he says after that "nothing is wrong" I have a hard time believeing him coz even if nothing is wrong one thing is for sure wrong: he doesnt want to talk to me since he is giving me one word answers.
Try to talk to him more or change the way you communicate. May be calling each other or doing Skype would have been better?

[heatherotic]

I agree that ya'll should actually speak when stuff like this happens. My SO and I tend to argue when we text, mostly because I read into stuff wayyy too much, and since I can't hear how he's saying it, I take it the wrong way. Most of the time, the moment I hear his voice, I stop being mad.

[Hannahbaby16]

We are doing MUCH better. Weve been talking on the phone and xbox live a little more so that we dont fight as much because you guys are right, the tone in your partners voice makes all the difference..

Thanks guys!!!

[Anya]

if this happen on us, I will just reply him "I love you" no matter how, either me or he is the one who create this "cold war"...
The "I love you" is a great weapon in any argument, especially for LDR...

[heatherotic]

I'm so glad ya'll are doing better! :]

And Anya, that's a good idea!

[Jrapp]

I'm glad you're doing better!!

The "I love you" technique always makes me feel better actually. If Brianna and I are fighting, or I'm seeming down to her, she'll just randomly say I love you. Sometimes accompanied with many reasons as to why she loves me. It brings us out of the fight and always makes me feel better!