Choosing to Stay an LDR!?!?

[nic&matt]

Alright this has been an on and off again conversation between my SO and I. My boy is already at college and I'm looking into it. We promised not to influence eachother with any decision on the future so we get our priorities straight but I can't help and think: What if I just went to his school?
Problem is, his school doesn't have my first option in a major: music performance. He doesn't want me to sacrifice my education to just go to his school but...I don't know...

I feel selfish? I'm chosing to spend more time away from him when I could close it.

I'm really confused

Help?

[TknandLvnIt]

Hmmm well I'd say look into maybe starting as a music major at his school and just doing the requirements or general stuff to finish the major at the other campus. You still have time to think about it but majors always change trust me I went in Biochemistry and left with a degree in the social sciences. But maybe you could do the General Ed stuff at his campus the first few years...make sure the classes transfer to the school of choice and then finish at the other school. You usually don't get into the good stuff until the last two years anyway. Hope this helps a bit :-)

[princessmia]

Is there a school closer to him that offers your major?
Would it be possible for him to transfer schools once he finishes something, if that were possible?
Your SO is right, you shouldn't sacrifice your major and what you really want to do just to be with him. It won't be good in the long run. Sometimes, in cases like this, it's better to stay LD and then afterwards it's worth it. It sucks, but it's better, especially when it has to do with careers and such.
What are your other options for majors? Would you be happy with something else, or is music performance your true passion?

[Zephii]

It's a new relationship, honestly I'd say your education comes first at this point. LDR isn't the end of the world, but compromising your future leads to resentment and that can end your relationship.

[Micah]

I would stick with what you want to do at this time. You probably don't want me to pull the "you're young" card, but you are young and you have your whole life ahead of you. So, I think when you're young that is the time that you should go after your passions because when you get older and gain more responsibilities sometimes life gets in the way and makes it hard to go after those passions.

Then again, what do I know? I went out of state to college and wanted to be a veterinarian, thinking it was my passion. I changed majors 5 times during my undergrad career and ended up with a degree in Business Administration. Things change, people change, life changes... So, that makes decisions hard!

[LadyEcstsasy]

Everyone always says that you can't lose sight of yourself in a long distance relationship (or any relationship for that matter). Stick with your dreams, with your true passion. I would agree that maybe looking into a school that offers your major close to his. Remember though, out-of-state tution for some universities is considerably higher, so financing without a scholarship/grant is something to keep in mind. Student loans add up quick.

Transferring is always an option and what others have said before is also something to keep in mind, a lot of people change majors in college. Not everyone (I knew what I would go to college for when I was 6 years old lol), but a lot of people do. My mom got credits as a medical secretary type major (way back in the day) and ended up never actually working in a hospital.

As I tell my college sweetheart - education trumps all. It is the foundation for the future, and without that foundation your own future can be quite uncertain, making it harder to plan for a future with a SO. Your SO should understand this since he's already in college and since he's said that he doesn't want to pressure you. If you need help looking for schools and deciding, I would suggest talking to your school's career/guidance counselor, they're paid to help you out with this stuff

[paulawriteslove]

You're education is the most important thing. At the end of the day the distance shouldn't matter because you will be closing it one day.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

You should do what will benefit YOU the most. I'd say go focus on your education...an LDR is possible and I'm actually GLAD my SO and I go to different colleges. We went to the same school for 11 years, and it was awesome, but it's a nice change and we have a chance to miss each other and we don't get sick of each other. We're both pursuing our dreams at our dream schools...and our relationship has been a dream come true for us both as well. We've both wanted this for awhile now, and I can see us together for life. <3

[Alisz]

I agree with Zephii and I speak from experience. I let a past LDR relationship dictate my life. I was planning on going to a school near my ex, but during the process of registration we had a big blowup. I realized that I had convinced myself that I was going to the school because I wanted to be there, but the reality was it was for him. When I took him out of the equation I had little desire to want to be at that school. So, I went back home and it messed up my plans. I don't blame him, but it was rather inconvinent. Sure you're young (I was too) and you could change your mind about majors, but in the long run it's really not worth the frustrations. A few more years apart is nothing compared to feelings of "what if"s and resentment. I think it's important to be realistic and to really look at the big picture sometimes. 3-4 years is nothing when you're young. They go by so fast.

[Silviar]

If it doesn't have what you want to do for education, then don't go. Part of building the rest of your life is making sure you have solid building blocks for your career, and choosing the right school is important. If that's what you want to do, and they don't have it, then I'd encourage you to look elsewhere, perhaps even nearby. You don't want to end up resenting the relationship with making a sacrifice that didn't sit well with you.

Good luck!

[Silviar]

If it doesn't have what you want to do for education, then don't go. Part of building the rest of your life is making sure you have solid building blocks for your career, and choosing the right school is important. If that's what you want to do, and they don't have it, then I'd encourage you to look elsewhere, perhaps even nearby. You don't want to end up resenting the relationship with making a sacrifice that didn't sit well with you.

Good luck!