Online dating and lying...

[Rach321]

This study was completed by one of my professors and was just reported on CNN yesterday.

I thought it might be of help to those of you who met online and have received questions from friends/family about your partner's honesty. As most of you already know, it's not that common for people to lie when they are truly interested in a long-term relationship! (or at least not anymore than they would offline, anyway- A liar's a liar, regardless of context).

https://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/03/0...ars/index.html

[Bluestars]

I find this very interesting! I met Jared on an online dating site, but I know that a lot of people might look down on that in real life. My mom and a few of my friends thought he was a serial killer or old man at first!

But that is a very intriguing perspective: A liar is a liar, regardless of online or in person. I had an old man send me a very long message on the dating sight. He said he was a professor at college, but he was not looking for "sexual relations" with younger student; instead he wanted to become "friends" with them....He said he viewed my profile and that he thought it was interesting so he sent me a message.....It was very creepy--and blatantly obvious he wanted more than just friendship. I showed the message to my best friend who was on the site too, and she was shocked because she had received the exact same message--he had just copied and pasted it! We both sent him a scathing message back saying that he had been caught.

Yes, there are sometimes creepy guys like that online, but not all of them are like that. You just have to be smart about it

[polkapiggy]

I hate peoples assumption that just because you met someone online, that means they are lying to you! When I first started telling people about Alex, I recieved SOOO many comments like "but he could be like 50!" "he's probably a pedo" "he's obviously only in it because you have more money than him" "he only wants sex" "he's probably really ugly" etc. etc. the list goes on and on. The reason people are so prejudice like that is because all we are ever told about the internet is that EVERYONE is out to get you! NOT TRUE! there are normal, nice people on the internet too! People lie on the internet, but people lie in real life too! Its just slightly easier to lie online then it is in person- but its still really easy to lie in person (I should know, I went through a stage of compulsive lying as a pre-teen because i wanted to impress everybody, I don't lie anymore though) and people you meet in person can be just as, if not more dangerous than those you meet online!

[folclor]

Wow, very interesting. I might show this to my parents at some point. ^^;

[letawookiewin]

I think people should take precautions when it comes to online dating. I believe it's a great way to get to know other people and form relationships. But i think it's maybe one of those situations where the few bad guys lying kinda screw it for everyone else and unfortunately it gets a bad wrap because of this. It's kinda hard to lie about your age if you convince the other person to get on webcam...unless you look alot younger or older than you really are somehow.... But i'd recommend it to anyone, just take necessary precautions. There are all sorts of people out there online..just make sure you find the good ones, not the bad. Online dating definitely helped me out.

[Rach321]

I think people should take precautions when it comes to online dating

I agree! But I also tend to be pretty hesitant when I meet someone offline too.

[Alisz]

Interesting article I've been saying for a few years that since the internet has become so mainstream, when you meet someone online (whether for dating or friendship) that the same rules as meeting someone in person pretty much apply. It's all about common sense and being aware of warning signals. And especially since lies always have a way of coming back around, online or not. If you lie online about something, eventually the truth will come out. Perhaps not as quickly as offline, but it will. :/

[Mio]

Interesting indeed!

[Kitty]

That is an interesting article and almost exactly what I keep on trying to explain to my mother...it doesn't matter if people are online or offline, if they are prone to lying they will do it where-ever, online or off.

[totalspiffage]

I'm happy to say neither I nor my partner have ever lied to each other. He's completely honest about things. I had a bit more of a problem with it, and while I didn't lie, I was really reluctant about telling him personal information. I basically stalked him online until I was sure he was really what he said! He didn't have a picture anywhere on the internet cause he's really shy, so all my friends thought I was insane to like him. haha. But yeah, I could see how that's a problem.

[XX, Lexi]

Hm..That is an interesting article.

Me and Luke were actually in an online relationship for 3 months before we met face to face. During that time, I got a bunch of BS from my friends about how he was some 50 year old pedophile and how he'd try and rape me! One of my friends even suggested that the 'Luke' I saw on webcam wasn't him, but was actually the 50 year old pedo's nephew just covering for him! >.> Can you believe that?
That article does make me feel better, though, that someone proved that not everyone you meet online is a pedophile wanting to get you alone in a broom closet. Plus, it's stupid that we have to be 'so careful' about people online, but no one mentions that you have to be just as careful with someone you meet offline, in real life. Appearances aren't everything. Really, people.

Thanks for showing us this article<3

[OneForTheRomance]

I'm so glad you posted this! You know, I originally lied to Chris about my age. I didn't think we would talk more than the once, and I didn't want him to assume that I was immature if I told him my real age. After we had been talking for quite a while and a real friendship was starting to blossom, I told him the truth because the guilt drove me crazy. And I've never lied to him since, in fact, I probably tell him every little dirty secrety detail ever! I really love that I feel I can tell him anything.

[Zapookie]

I had a previous relationship online this time last year. It turns out that this guy had lied about almost everything he told me. lol. I knew it in my gut but I just didn't want to believe it. Rule of thumb: always trust your instincts!

[xGabbriela]

people you meet in person can be just as, if not more dangerous than those you meet online!

I AGREE! This is the point I am constantly trying to make to my father, who refuses to let me go see my SO because he believes that if I met him online he HAS to be a serial killer, rapist, or at the very least some 60 year-old perv. Anything but normal.

[agentholli]

You know, that is really interesting and I KEEP telling my people this...it doesn't matter where you meet someone...if they are going to lie to you, they are going to lie to you! I think I will post this on facebook so all my friends and family can read it, and say...yeah I have heard her say that before! LOL Thank you for sharing this!