Multicultural/ multi-racial LDRs... what issues have you had?

[fiestydyste]

White, Brown, Yellow, Black, Red, Purple or Green... I don't care what the color of your skin is... Tattooed, pierced... Mehndi dots or some other cultural identity you wear... These are the things that make you who you are! But... some people are just scared of cultural differences.. especially when they see that someones SO is of a different Culture!!!!

MY SO is Aboriginal (or to everyone else Native American) and I'm white... So far I haven't experience anything in public regarding our relationship and the differences between our cultures... but even within my family, I've gotten: "He's Indian.. wow... and he has kids... He wants a green card!"

On the contradictory, because my SO is 100% Native, can travel between the US/CA borders without issue under the Jay Treaty... but I was wondering... I can't be the only one going threw this issue... So I'd like to hear your stories, and maybe get ideas or info that maybe able to help us all cope a little easier...

[Marikusa]

Hmm. We'll, We're both latino. I was born in Dominican Republic, but i moved when i was 5-6 to New york and have lived here ever since. My SO is Argentine. So we have similar cultures, however, my cousins did mention something like "You should be careful, maybe hes just trying to get papers"... LOL

[sabby64]

I'm aboriginal (Dene, from the Northwest Territories), I have a status card, and yet I am one of very few living in the north who has had no aboriginal culture in me whatsoever. My mom's side is mixed (mostly Scottish) while my dad is full aboriginal and he didn't want any of that in our house, so I grew up like a 'normal' kid and never had any problems fitting in with everyone else (though people still ask me if it's okay to say a racist joke ) I mostly just use my card to get into school for cheap.

Brandon is mostly white (England), but he also has an aboriginal status card... I have no idea how. XD He doesn't look like he should, and neither do his parents, I'm not sure where it comes from. But again, he has no culture in him and so there are no cultural differences between us at all. I guess that comes from living in a small community too.

[Miramaid]

my SO is bi-racial and I am white. I personally never noticed anything but not once he said he got the "looks" from other people staring at us

[Brandie]

My SO is white and I'm black, our friends and the people who we're surrounded by are very supportive and don't think of us as different. Even within our families, they are both very supportive of our interracial relationship which is such a relief

[BabyGund]

The Boy is Caucasian and I am African-American. I'm sure people look and stare more because we can't keep our hands off each other than us being interracial. I suppose the test will come when I meet his father.

My parents would not have an issue with it. They accepted a long time ago that I prefer Caucasian men and my ex-H was.

[ErikaH]

Hmmm. I'm half-American and half-Filipino, while my SO is African-American. I have yet to meet my SO, and my parents are the ones who are worried about the cultural difference, specially since he lives down south. I've thought about what's different in his life, sure, but it never worries me. We'll just have to see how my parents take it when we meet. Hopefully they'll come to accept him, specially since my parents came from different cultural backgrounds also and know it can work.

[fiestydyste]

he didn't want any of that in our house, so I grew up like a 'normal' kid and never had any problems fitting in with everyone else

I actually have heard of quite a few of my SO's family/friends who have also "removed the Indian" from their blood... because of the issues in the past--- especially due to the Residential schools in Canada that were run by the churches... I know that my SO has had some issues because of his skin colour in the town he grew up in... Also, everyone who currently has commented-- Thank you... keep the stories coming, and it really makes me smile to know that everyone has very supportive families and friends! you rock!

[mllebamako]

My SO is a black, Muslim African and I'm a white, Agnostic American. We are interracial, multicultural, and interfaith! A triple threat

We are both really open and we've talked a lot about how our different backgrounds may affect us in the future, especially when it comes to kids.
Luckily, our families are really supportive and happy for us. We get stared at a lot but I get stared at anyway in Mali even when I'm by myself, being white and all We've heard a few negative comments but they usually come from total strangers or acquaintances. The people who really know us or have spent some time around us...can see how strong our love is. (Funny story: when I went home to visit my family, my Mom's friend said, "I was sure he was just with you to get a green card until I saw the pictures from your engagement ceremony and I saw your smiles." awww)

[Alisz]

I'm 4th gen Japanese in Canada (altho my father is white, so I'm only half), but I don't have much of an Asian culture. My mother was raised mostly "white" and Canadian. No doubt to make it easier for her and my uncle to fit in being born after WWII :/ So, in turn my brother and I were raised the same way. Ray's background is Polish, but he's pretty American-ized. His family doesn't have a problem with my ethnicity. His mom's cute because she's always talking about how she can't wait to see her little Asian grandkids XD (No, I'm not pregnant lol) My family hasn't inquired about his background and I don't think they'd really care, but I know there will be a couple of eyerolls from relatives because he's American. :/

[milaya]

I'm white, from north Europe and my SO is Japanese. So we're a multicultural and racial couple. Must admit it's not always that easy.

Most people around us are fine with it, mostly because they already knew I would end up with a Japanese guy (my future vision for the past 6 years was to get married to a Japanese guy). Only my father seems to have a problem with it, because ... well he's racist. So he sees my SO as a less of a person that my father is and doesn't show him the respect my SO deserves. (considering my SO has done more for me in the past 11 months than my father has in the past 21 years). My father also like to make a lot of jokes about my SO when he's not around or just complain about how awful Japanese sounds, when my SO and I talk.

Guess what best explain my father's view is this argument we had:
Him: You talk with your boyfriend for like 4 hours a day.
Me: It's more like 40 min. And how much doesn't regular couples talk?
Him: Yeah, but you found someone from "over there", so you should just wait to talk until he's here.

My mom is only sorry that she's not able to talk with my SO. (none of them knows English)
His parents are okay with it as well, haven't really said anything and always treats me very well when I'm their house. And his mother often ask about Denmark or explain about certain Japanese things/customs. I think they're happy as long as I understand Japanese, so I can understand them.

Cultural issues are mostly just between my SO and I, since when we do have fights/arguments it's often based on our cultural differences. "It's because I/you are Japanese/Danish" is a very used quote between us. But we're working on it and take the challenges one at the day. I won't like such things come between us.

[uniquefem]

My SO is a black, Muslim African and I'm a white, Agnostic American. We are interracial, multicultural, and interfaith! A triple threat

We are both really open and we've talked a lot about how our different backgrounds may affect us in the future, especially when it comes to kids.
Luckily, our families are really supportive and happy for us. We get stared at a lot but I get stared at anyway in Mali even when I'm by myself, being white and all We've heard a few negative comments but they usually come from total strangers or acquaintances. The people who really know us or have spent some time around us...can see how strong our love is. (Funny story: when I went home to visit my family, my Mom's friend said, "I was sure he was just with you to get a green card until I saw the pictures from your engagement ceremony and I saw your smiles." awww)

hehe same here... so much differences!
I am... well "yellow/light brown"?? i am asian for sure, my SO caucasian. I am a moslem and i am not really sure if he is believe in any religious. He is from Europe, Russian precisely... and i am from SE Asia-Indonesia.

We know the differences, and still learning to compromise each other. He know the fact that i am a moslem. He once had a moslem friends that he work with for over 5 years... we also from very different culture. Past few days i thought we will be over because of this cultural thing. But glad we work it out.

Talk about public... its a different issue.

To be honest, its not really comfortable to had a caucasian boyfriend in Indonesia. Because they will talk about you like you are a prostitute. In some of cities they still had this negative generalization about caucasian male and their local girl friend.

I was in Bali once, had backpacking trip.. i used to do this kind of budgeting thing-sharing rooms, sharing transport etc.. its common.. but not once people in Bali wonders asking me questions such as "why did you pay for this? why dont you ask your 'guest' to pay for you?" oh God.. from famous buzzling Kuta to small town like Ubud.. same questions.

Some don't believe i work in oil and gas, and earn my self, and its just a friend that i got with... oh my...

Sad to say, yes most of girls who had the caucasian bf here are the gold diggers bar girls, or some girls who just want some fun-nothing serious. Even its hard to convince my mom, and my family first time i had a caucasian bf long time ago.

He was trying so hard, and i felt sorry because he did try his best to made everyone like him.... its all different.. we did spicy food, he can't eat spicy. We love sun, he will get sun burn so quick. He don't eat rice that much, we can't live without rice! also cultures when you talk with parents-older people.. the way he treat me (he hold my hands-its a reflex but everyone stare at him like he did french kiss with me!).

For my SO.. its shocking me when he said last time he saw his parent was 5 years ago! my mom will never forgive me if i did that! family are everything in Asia i guess... above anything!

But nothing very serious... and i just see that.. this is the price to had/loving someone that completely different from my background-cultural, religion, etc. We had to over come things...

I like it when i told him about this, and he will say "thats ok, don't listen to other people-that's not important!" and yahh.. he just know how to made me feel better! if he could be strong, i could do it as well! i would careless to as.. if i really married with him, i wont live in Indonesia for sure.

[CanadianGirl]

I'm South Asian (Sri Lankan-Canadian) and my SO is Mexican/Spanish (American). Between us, there's no problems whatsoever. It's kind of interesting, how our families might be different but we are very similar. He was raised with the same values as me, just in another language =P Personal culture is the important one in a relationship, and we certainly see the world the same way.

His family is really accepting and welcomed me with open arms.

My family is terribly traditional. I say 'terribly' because sometimes, tradition really should just be left in the past. Arranged marriages are still custom ("love" marriages are also okay, as long as you get the approval of your parents). I was keeping Eric a secret from my mother. The lady gets dramatic, so I was afraid of her reaction. NO one in my family has married or dated someone that wasn't Tamil/Sri Lankan. I recently told her about him and, while she was initially horrified, she seems to be coming around. I think it was when I was showing her a picture of him and the way I was smiling. I hope she understands that he makes me immensely happy. I'd be so proud of her if she could look past appearances and not let family pressure get to her.

[roosie]

My SO is half English, half Chinese and his dad's family is originally from Ireland.. So we are basically Finnish-English-Chinese-Irish couple. If we ever get children.. well, poor kids. He doesn't speak much Chinese and he looks more European than Asian. My family and friends are okay with it, even though some of my older relatives seemed to be happy to see how European he looks which made me feel a little uncomfortable. What if he didn't, would they treat him differently? Sometimes people stare at us but then again, Finns do that to everyone all the time anyway. I see the multiculturalism as a positive thing.

[Moon]

Sometimes people stare at us but then again, Finns do that to everyone all the time anyway. I see the multiculturalism as a positive thing.

Haha! They do! When I'm sitting in a Helsinki bar, and speaking my brand of American accented English to my very obviously Finnish BF, I notice people watching and trying to listen As the hours wear on and people start getting drunk, I end up in some very interesting conversations! I'm not much for being the center of attention, but by midnight-ish in Finland, I have no choice