So, after all that, he broke up with me. To think, I thought I was falling for this man. Obviously he doesn't feel the same way. What a waste of my time. I'm in shock... He told me that he can't commit to having to text me and email me at certain times because he's busy and it would be different if we lived in the same city. This all sounds like a bunch of BS to me... I don't know what to do... Should I try to work it out with him or just accept that it's over???
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It sounds like the adjustment to long distance just didn't work for you two. It doesn't mean that what you had wasn't special, but your relationship is so new... If you have different expectations about what the relationship means, it can cause problems. For him, he just moved to a new country and is getting settled. Feeling pressure from you to be in constant contact was probably a bit too much for him. There is nothing wrong in what you expect from a relationship, but if he feels he can't provide that, he's probably right to let you go. I'm sure he doesn't want you to be unhappy every time he can't be there like you want him to be. So he probably thinks that it would be easier for both of you to end it.
I'm not sure if the relationship can be saved. It's possible, but it will require you to step back a great deal. Think of this as a re-start to your relationship. If you want to stay in contact, don't email too much, don't be too emotional. Try to get to know each other as friends, and see what develops from that. One of the most rewarding things about long distance relationships is that you can really, deeply get to know someone for who they are. But this takes A LOT of time and patience.
Best wishes for you!!!
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Lots of hugs. We are all different, and we all handle things in different ways. And not everybody can adjust to LDR's. I think that maybe you came too strong, remember that he is just moving to a new place, getting everything sorted out. It's a hard thing to do. In LDR's we can't always have it all, sometimes our SO's have a new college schedule, or a new work, or new circumstances that makes it hard to talk for a long time during a period of time. We all go tru that, and we have to be understanding about this. If it's not possible at the moment, is not. But then you know that eventually everything will fall into place. But also, if you have needs, you have to satisfy them. Is not bad to want things, and if you think you can't get what you want from this relationship then it's better to move on for your own happiness.
I think you should talk about the break up on the phone or video chat, to break up in an email is a little strange.
Best wishes!Comment
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