Just venting, also looking for a little bit of advice.

[Mxchaela]

Lately me and my SO have been on the rocks. We argue at least 6 times a week- if not more. I know this is what we still want, and we still have hopes for our future. We just know that we have to figure out how to stop this arguing.
He started working two weeks ago, and is only gone two nights out of the week, which isn't too bad. Of course, I start to miss him a whole lot and it makes me a grouch to be around. All the stress and just depression from thinking about how it'll easily be two years until we can close the distance has got me down.
He is visiting in about 11 days and I'm hoping that will help, and get us back to getting along.

I was just curious, how do you and your SO stop fights before they happen? Do you have any tips on how you both keep your cool together? Any advice on the subject would really be lovely, beyond just my questions. We are both really open for suggestions- as we really want to make this work.

[OliveOyl]

i used to be really defensive and argumentative when I was in my late teens, early 20s. I argued a lot with everyone, including SOs. The only thing I learned to do to control arguments, is to notice what triggers me before I start picking an argument and learn to recognize it, and just find something to either calm me down, or just try to go a different route. Hm... hard to explain. lol But, also, if you are in a middle of an argument, you kind of just have to take the higher road, and put an end to it, if that means apologizing, or just asking, "why are we fighting?" and just agree to disagree. You and your SO just need to figure out what is triggering your arguments and then rationally (not emotionally) solve the problems.

[Mara]

I agree with OliveOyl. You need to find what is causing these arguments between you and your SO and put a stop to it. If the two of you are fighting that much I would wager that it's one underlying issue that is really at the bottom of it. You need to deal with that to stop the fighting.

[rivi87]

For me Im not confrontational, I like to avoid fights (and I'm pretty good at it if I must say ;P). On the other hand my SO it very hardheaded and in the past was very confrontational. If I feel things are headed to and argument I like to steer the convo in a happier direction. Sure we have had some fights but thats normal you are not gonna always agree. Talking it out works to but one thing I have done is "distract him with a slip of clothing or something...usually that changes things to a happier subject

[TknandLvnIt]

I to am very non confrontational but like previous posters said you need to find the root of the problem. My SO and I used to argue a bit over little things...for me the reason that was beneath all of the little things we argued about was that I was in love with him and wasn't able to tell him. I would get so frustrated with little things that would happen or when he would say he really liked me because I wanted him to feel the same way...Even when we were in person we had a really heated argument about NOTHING and i stormed out of the restaurant and packed my things to leave...We talked and he told me how scared he was of losing me and that he was is in Love with me. Now that we have told each other we haven't really fought about anything...a lot of times fights are because of pent up emotions or issues in your life that are separate from your relationship. Six times a week is a lot though so maybe you should cut down on the talking and deal with what's causing the fights...Good luck :-)

[uniquefem]

Lately me and my SO have been on the rocks. We argue at least 6 times a week- if not more. I know this is what we still want, and we still have hopes for our future. We just know that we have to figure out how to stop this arguing.
He started working two weeks ago, and is only gone two nights out of the week, which isn't too bad. Of course, I start to miss him a whole lot and it makes me a grouch to be around. All the stress and just depression from thinking about how it'll easily be two years until we can close the distance has got me down.
He is visiting in about 11 days and I'm hoping that will help, and get us back to getting along.

I was just curious, how do you and your SO stop fights before they happen? Do you have any tips on how you both keep your cool together? Any advice on the subject would really be lovely, beyond just my questions. We are both really open for suggestions- as we really want to make this work.

Usually when me and my SO chat is when i already got back from work, exhausted, and sleepy after a long day working-while he just started his busy day at his office.

If i felt i am way too tired, i will made the conversation short.. because i know when i get tired i could turn in to this "evil girl", and sometimes too needy or mellow.... really ruin my mood.. and small things he said could made me upset or weep. Even if its not really that bad! i think when we are tired we tends not to think straight and clear!

Maybe you should made it as short conversation or chat, if you feel mood swing because tired or its just the time of the month. Its not worth the fight... and get some rest, sleep.. and tomorrow you could talk again with him! there is no point to talk with anger when the next day you both will regret things you've said to each others.

Try to find whats the real problem is instead throwing each other anger words.... i hope you both will be ok, and solve the problem