Closer to a Visit!
It looks like we are closer to planning a visit. Sort of yay!?
Pros:
-We get to see each other and it has been a long time!
-The weather will likely be warmer in Kansas than here, but not insufferably hot like my first visit.
-I would be taking "my turn" to visit him and that would make him feel good. Plus, I would have another chance to form a better impression about some of his friends and again see how he treats me (i.e. hoping for an improvement in affection and recognition of me as his partner in public and social situations) on his turf now that we are on a similar level of feelings toward each other.
-There aren't as many unknowns with travelling and meeting with his friends and family (I may not like everything or everyone, but I am a creature of comfort and I will at least have a better idea of what to expect)
-The Canadian dollar is high, so if I want to convert a little spending money soon...I won't feel like some of my very hard-earned wages were ripped off
-I am angling for some of the time to be covered by the Easter long-weekend, so I will miss fewer of the dance classes I have paid for.
-Plus, where I work will likely be on break for three weeks in April, so I won't be missing out on that work, unless they offer some sort of spring break program.
-For him, it will be a benefit since he will likely be paying for most of it and will have more time to save.
Cons:
-I am applying for more jobs and a new job could throw a wrench in the works. However, the things I am applying for are very competitive and experience-based, so I may not have to worry about scheduling conflicts if I don't get them (just all the other worries I have had now for nearly a year D': )
-He wants the visit to be at least 9-10 days long and overlap two weekends, which I think would help him minimize time off work and maximize the amount of time we are together, but:
-->I'm worrying about funds being strained or running out (i.e., me not really being able to contribute to things, him over-spending, and me missing more dance classes that are quite expensive even per class for me.) over a longer course of time to eat, travel, and do activities.
-->As much as we love and are genuine with each other, it is, no matter what, draining to play the perfect host and graceful guest (e.g. bathroom stuff, cleaning, sleep habits, etc.) for that long
-->*While I was maybe 3-5lbs overweight and untoned when all his friends and family saw me there (and his very slender sister was saying that her impression of me was that I "have curves"...maybe a compliment...maybe not?) and maybe 7-10 lbs overweight when he last saw me in September, I am now seriously 25 lbs overweight and most of my clothing looks really unflattering and is uncomfortable on me (and I certainly can't suck in my tummy to make it look flat like I could before). I am making efforts by taking lots of fitness classes, etc. but I would like to at least be around the size I was when I first went there and that seems rather impossible without 5 months or something to get fit. I have always had confidence issues about my weight and aside from any distorted thoughts about body image, I can logically identify that I am at an unhealthy weight and out of shape. I feel really upset that if I come the weekend he likes, that means I have even less time to shape up and I do want to feel attractive around some one I love and don't get to see very often.
-My parents might feel like I am missing out on my continued work search, am abandoning my chores, spending money I shouldn't, make a fuss about transportation to and from the airport, worry about my safety, and just generally not want me to go just because they can or that they feel jealous.
I told him that I needed some time to think about the departure date because of planning out my dance classes (but you can also see there are other reasons there and my main one was really about my appearance....yes, we do love beyond appearance...but it doesn't change that it is important to me to feel attractive). He was fine with giving me some time to think about it, but I could tell that he was in his efficiency mode and is probably hoping to book soon and get the best flight (I would like to book it while he is feeling motivated and happy to do so). So, lovelies, any thoughts?
Pros:
-We get to see each other and it has been a long time!
-The weather will likely be warmer in Kansas than here, but not insufferably hot like my first visit.
-I would be taking "my turn" to visit him and that would make him feel good. Plus, I would have another chance to form a better impression about some of his friends and again see how he treats me (i.e. hoping for an improvement in affection and recognition of me as his partner in public and social situations) on his turf now that we are on a similar level of feelings toward each other.
-There aren't as many unknowns with travelling and meeting with his friends and family (I may not like everything or everyone, but I am a creature of comfort and I will at least have a better idea of what to expect)
-The Canadian dollar is high, so if I want to convert a little spending money soon...I won't feel like some of my very hard-earned wages were ripped off
-I am angling for some of the time to be covered by the Easter long-weekend, so I will miss fewer of the dance classes I have paid for.
-Plus, where I work will likely be on break for three weeks in April, so I won't be missing out on that work, unless they offer some sort of spring break program.
-For him, it will be a benefit since he will likely be paying for most of it and will have more time to save.
Cons:
-I am applying for more jobs and a new job could throw a wrench in the works. However, the things I am applying for are very competitive and experience-based, so I may not have to worry about scheduling conflicts if I don't get them (just all the other worries I have had now for nearly a year D': )
-He wants the visit to be at least 9-10 days long and overlap two weekends, which I think would help him minimize time off work and maximize the amount of time we are together, but:
-->I'm worrying about funds being strained or running out (i.e., me not really being able to contribute to things, him over-spending, and me missing more dance classes that are quite expensive even per class for me.) over a longer course of time to eat, travel, and do activities.
-->As much as we love and are genuine with each other, it is, no matter what, draining to play the perfect host and graceful guest (e.g. bathroom stuff, cleaning, sleep habits, etc.) for that long
-->*While I was maybe 3-5lbs overweight and untoned when all his friends and family saw me there (and his very slender sister was saying that her impression of me was that I "have curves"...maybe a compliment...maybe not?) and maybe 7-10 lbs overweight when he last saw me in September, I am now seriously 25 lbs overweight and most of my clothing looks really unflattering and is uncomfortable on me (and I certainly can't suck in my tummy to make it look flat like I could before). I am making efforts by taking lots of fitness classes, etc. but I would like to at least be around the size I was when I first went there and that seems rather impossible without 5 months or something to get fit. I have always had confidence issues about my weight and aside from any distorted thoughts about body image, I can logically identify that I am at an unhealthy weight and out of shape. I feel really upset that if I come the weekend he likes, that means I have even less time to shape up and I do want to feel attractive around some one I love and don't get to see very often.
-My parents might feel like I am missing out on my continued work search, am abandoning my chores, spending money I shouldn't, make a fuss about transportation to and from the airport, worry about my safety, and just generally not want me to go just because they can or that they feel jealous.
I told him that I needed some time to think about the departure date because of planning out my dance classes (but you can also see there are other reasons there and my main one was really about my appearance....yes, we do love beyond appearance...but it doesn't change that it is important to me to feel attractive). He was fine with giving me some time to think about it, but I could tell that he was in his efficiency mode and is probably hoping to book soon and get the best flight (I would like to book it while he is feeling motivated and happy to do so). So, lovelies, any thoughts?
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