family problems.

[adielovesshelbs]

one of my so's cousin is pretty much my best friend. i was close with some of his family before we got together, because of his cousin sara. well, when we first got together his cousin crystal said that i was rude to her. let me give you some background information about her: she stole money and jewerly from her grandmother (my so's grandmother as well.) she lies about people. she is a very dishonest person.

my so didnt think it was a big deal because he didnt believe her. i try to be to nice to everyone, even if i dislike them. i dislike her. im always pleasent with her though. there has been a few other times when she has started rumors about me to the family. they like drama. so i didnt have anything to do with her. well, she moved in with my so's grandma and i talk to the grandmother requently.

well tonight i was informed that crystal told their grandma that she thinks im cheating on my so. i was very upset when i heard this. my so is in afghanistan and he trusts me completely, which he should. i have never cheated on anyone in my life. i got cheated on in previous relationships, so i would never. i adore my so. i got upset because i have never done anything to this girl. for whatever reason, she really dislikes me. before he went to afghan, we talked about this and he said for me not to worry about her. i dont know why she always has to start drama.

heres my question: should i tell my so about this? ive already talked to him about her and i dont want him to feel like he has to pick a side, because i wouldnt dare ask him to choose, that is horrible. i feel bad because i feel like there is always problems between me and her. she is the only family member that dislikes me, that i am aware of atleast. is it even worth bringing up? should i confront her? what should i do? sorry its so long.

[LadyMarchHare]

If it bothers you, it's worth bringing up. I assume you heard the rumor through the grandmother since you said you talk to her a lot and I'm wondering if you could ask her if she knows why this cousin is so against you. If not, it may be a good idea to ask the girl herself. Tell her you've tried being respectful and nice to her and the rest of your SO's family and that you would like to know what you did to slight her or anyone else to have her say these hurtful things without evidence. Sometimes family concocts stories against SOs because they don't want to like them, feel they're not good enough, or any other inane reason but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I still would mention it to your SO whether or not you decide to try and nip this in the bud and tell him it's hurting you and you don't want him to choose sides, but to either bear in mind what he may hear through the grapevine is about as true as life on mars or tell the cousin to back off and trust his judgment in people.