when your relationship are good. Do you worry that it will get bad?

[JessicaTran05]

My relationship with SO has been good lately, despite our last argument a day before Valentine that almost break us up (which scares me a lot and I swear that will never happen again!). Have you guys ever come close to a break up? What do you feel after that? I feel scares of the possibilities of not being able to talk to her again and I don't know what to do without her.

But now we are very good. We are stronger, our phone calls and web cam chat are very fun, deep, and exciting now. However, when things are good ... I get this nagging worry that it will get bad later and worry that we will break up for some stupid reasons. I haven't been sad or depress about our relationship, but have been in a good mood and happy to talk to her. That probably influence the good nature of our relationship now (my good mood) but I am worry that my mood swing will affect it somehow. Do you guys have a bad feeling when your relationship is good?

[prinzeza87]

of course! n it sucks, i hate having that feeling, we almost ended it once, but to be honest none of us wants to be without each other at all, we have said it so many times, we are just simply stuck together. n when problems, well issues sounds better, comes in between, we always talk it up n solve it...
i also feel that i dunno wat i would do with out him, but we all know that life keeps going although it would be much harder with out him... but stay positive, n do ur best to keep ur good mood all the time, dnt let that affect ur relationship . good luck.

[NaNi]

I do. Not when we're happy, but when we're arguing I do have this sick feeling in my stomach. I get worried that she might get fed up with me and/or the fights.

[Silviar]

When we were very early in our relationship, I used to occasionally have these worries. Then I realized that even if I lost him, although it would hurt like hell, and I'd sink into a hole for awhile... there's a light at the end. I can pull myself out, and I have done it before. Thinking like that is a destructive thought pattern. Instead, I chose to focus my energies towards a "hope for the best but keep a plan for the worst" pattern. That way, I know that things should and will be fine, and to let go of things instead of obsessing about if they'll break us up.

Even with moving overseas, I'm aware that in theory, we could totally crash and burn. Do I think we will? No. Do I want us to? No. Do I have money for a ticket home or to move around and travel or whatever if I lost him? Yep!

I don't feel that fighting should ever leave you with the concern that you're going to break up. Everyone fights; it's a part of life. In the back of your mind, however, there should always be the reminder that this fight is temporary, and that this too will pass.

[LadyEcstsasy]

I feel that way sometimes. My situation is different in that I'm always afraid I'll walk out. It's kind of hard to explain lol. My SO and I have fought really bad sometimes in the past and the only time he ever brought up leaving was because he thought it might be better for me. He's promised to stick by me no matter what, and I actually believe that. I on the other hand am a lot harder to pin down. I worry that something will happen that I just can't handle and that I'll make a stupid mistake and leave him. I worry that maybe down the road my feelings will change, sometimes I still worry that his will too.

But as our relationship has progressed, those worries have become less frequent. 95% of the time we're together or talking, everything is great. So I try to just enjoy how it is now. Like Silviar said though, I also have a back-up plan in case things don't go the way I'd like them to and I'm allowing plenty of room for growth and change in our relationship.

[Diamir]

I totally understand how you feel. My SO and I had a bad spell where all I did was pick stupid little fights with him over things that really shouldn't matter. I didn't know if I just needed the attention or what was wrong but I couldn't help it. I was so worried we would end. I got over that phase and try not to nag about little things anymore but I do know how you feel. I'm a natural worrier and always freak myself out about everything so even when things are perfectly fine and going great I worry that all the sudden I will do something to upset him or he won't want me anymore and we will be done. But you can't think like that! I know it is hard... trust me I struggle with it all the time. But in most cases the fact they are in long distance and committed to you means that they love you way to much to let something silly come between you. If they have made the effort this far I thouroughly believe things aren't going to end over something dumb. So if you are happy in your relationship focus on that! Stay happy, think positive, and share these positives with your SO.

[Elissa]

I do. Not when we're happy, but when we're arguing I do have this sick feeling in my stomach. I get worried that she might get fed up with me and/or the fights.

This

[Caitlin2009]

we've had a few near misses a few times including last week where i was an idiot for no reason O_o we dont argue all that often if we do its because were going through a minor rough patch, our arguements are like maybe 3-4 times a month possibly less then that or more if its a rough patch which is rare. But i dont like to argue i hate it it does scare and bother me alot when we do have them, even though we sweep it under the rug and forget about them after were done, i dunno i think arguements tend to bring us closer even though i dont like having them!

[sabby64]

No. Especially not while things are good... When we're fighting, I always know that we'll bounce back, so it doesn't really bother me much.

[princessmia]

I just went through the same thing you did.
So so close to ending it.
But we didn't. Somehow. And now our relationship is even more amazing than it was before our fight.

[Brandie]

Well my SO and I haven't had an argument that almost broke us up. But I do know that feeling of when things are going great, worrying that it might get bed. But i don't think like that anymore, because my SO and I just have a great relationship and I shouldn't worry about it getting bad because I think that's when it will!

[JessicaTran05]

I just went through the same thing you did.
So so close to ending it.
But we didn't. Somehow. And now our relationship is even more amazing than it was before our fight.

yea after our many fights, we are much stronger in our relationship and are more connected. I don't understand why that is.

[Dziubka]

I think we only had an argument once. I was upset because I felt I was investing much more in our relationship than he was and I wanted him to visit me for longer during the summer. It wasn't like we were breaking up or anything, though. I was upset and would have stayed upset had he gone through with his original plans, but I wouldn't have left him.

I have never, not even for a moment had the feeling that our relationship could fail.

[Caitlin2009]

yea after our many fights, we are much stronger in our relationship and are more connected. I don't understand why that is.

because you know that person is your soulmate and even though it sucks to fight, it shows you can get through anything together and still remain strong

[Dauntedpoet]

Well in the time we've been friends.. we've only had a handful of disagreements.. and since we've been a couple we've only had two big arguments..but neither of us ever thought of it being the end... as his response was.. "I hope you don't stay angry at me too long, because I miss you when you're not here" his faith in 'us' ended the argument almost immediately. I think worrying on occasion is only human. Time in the relationship builds trust that I think decreases the worry drastically. When I do get that nagging worry on occasion (yes even after 12 years) I just put it out of my head as best I can, because I know in short order, it will go away. Though it sounds silly... my back up plan is knowing that I could be alone and have a productive, quiet life alone.