when your relationship are good. Do you worry that it will get bad?

[nic&matt]

My SO and I about...4 days ago almost broke up. It was the scaries thing ever! It was all miscommuntication over text (and I've learned my lesson). I said I was more relaxed before we dated (because I didn't need to impress him) but he took that the wrong way. He was mad and said we should end, and I thought he meant the conversation so I said fine. All in all within 20 minutes we were both on the phone crying...

But related the post: all the time. When it gets so good I never think it's actually real. It scares me sometimes and I always think "All those people that have awful relationships always think they're doing good. What if we're them!?!?" But I stop and re-evaluate. It's been hard but I've been just trying to live in the moment, something that's really, really, really hard for me to do.

[Jrapp]

Yes, I sometimes worry about this. When we fight sometimes it can get pretty bad, but I usually don't worry that it'll be the end. We both know that everyone fights and it's just a part of relationships. We work through it, let stuff go, and eventually we're far stronger than we were before. It's a good feeling knowing that even though the fight sucks, something good will come out of it.

[FDRV]

Surely it depends on the argument? If it's something you fundamentally disagree with, unhappiness, or simply out of spite then I would worry. Otherwise, who can hold their hand up and say they've never acted a little rash or stupidly? Everyone does it from time to time. Hopefully not all the time but if you can cut anyone some slack it should be your lover.

[Rugger]

It's called HRP or "Happy Relationship Paranoia". I get it a lot. Even when we are happy, I worry something is wrong. Luckily I get over it easily when I talk to him

[Zephii]

Silviar pretty much summed it up for me.

Sometimes Obi and I realise that it would be 100 times easier to just give up and go our seperate ways, but we're just not willing to do that. When we have disagreements we do so with the intent of fixing the problem. I'm not afraid that he will leave me, or that this is too good to be true.

[justbreathe]

I feel that way sometimes. My situation is different in that I'm always afraid I'll walk out. It's kind of hard to explain lol. My SO and I have fought really bad sometimes in the past and the only time he ever brought up leaving was because he thought it might be better for me. He's promised to stick by me no matter what, and I actually believe that. I on the other hand am a lot harder to pin down. I worry that something will happen that I just can't handle and that I'll make a stupid mistake and leave him. I worry that maybe down the road my feelings will change, sometimes I still worry that his will too.

God I completely understand this.

I tend to run away from things when they get too hard for me, emotionally and physically (well not physically but yeah). At times I can't handle things when they get too hard so either I shut down or run away. My biggest obstacle in my relationship has been myself. I'm a total negative nancy and I'm trying really hard to change that.

[LostInLove]

I tend to feel this way a fair amount, I have a bad history with rejection so sometimes I find it difficult to believe that anyone will ever want to stay with me forever. This happens usually when I'm having a bad day, or something else happened to make me feel unloved or unwanted and it transfers over to my SO. I know it happens though, so I try and remind myself WHY it's happening and that I'm just being paranoid. Then I sent something sweet to my SO so he'll send something sweet back, and all's well that ends well.

[FadedSunrise]

Cheh...hell to the yea. Sometimes I think the only truth to people saying I'm naturally smart is that I naturally overthink life. Its like what he tells me happens in movies. Couple starts out good. Girl overthinks every little detail. It gets worse and worse. Then they break up. @_@ I agree also with what people say with the fact that the biggest obstacle in this relationship is myself, and that I'm rather a negative nancy. He's always told me that he believes in us no matter what, and that he'd like us to be together forever, but I have trouble getting to that point. I think its because I never even thought about the possibility of a boyfriend till much much later, and now I'm treating this like a project or work. Which is not right.

In summary. Most of the time I doubt myself and am afraid I'll be the one walking out. Sometimes I wonder if he'll have enough of me and just annoyed with me period. As in not want to be friends anymore. ...but I did have some really really bad self esteem issues as a kid, including a period of binge eating and anorexia.

[xopookie]

Well, I use to worry about it but after a while you start to realize that that's a relationship. In a relationship, you're always going to have your ups and downs it's never going to be perfect. But if your SO can stick with you through adversity than that's all that matters because it's easy for anyone to leave you when you're down! I was going through a lot of things earlier this year and my honey and I kept fighting and I thought we were gonna break up but we're still holding on strong. Esp. since I'm about to visit him pretty soon ! Overall, hold on ups and downs are all a part of being in a relationship!

[LadyEcstsasy]

God I completely understand this.

I tend to run away from things when they get too hard for me, emotionally and physically (well not physically but yeah). At times I can't handle things when they get too hard so either I shut down or run away. My biggest obstacle in my relationship has been myself. I'm a total negative nancy and I'm trying really hard to change that.

Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels that way lol. It makes me feel awful that I have to worry about me running out on a relationship, I mean, I should have more self control than that. It's just that in moments of high stress, it's easy for negative emotions to take control and to say "screw that". I've been trying to work on it in general for years lol

[Alisz]

We've had a couple of arguments, but nothing that came close to us breaking up. Just little bumps in the road. I guess because we've had so few disagreements and the relationship overall has been positive and good, I don't worry that it will get bad. Seems kinda silly and paranoid tbh.

I should note that in the very beginning of our relationship I had worried it'd become worse because that's what happened with my past relationships. It'd go from good to worse. It wasn't until I realized that my SO is different from those noobs and the situations are completely different. We're happy and committed to each other, so I don't worry about silly things like that.