Who invests in your relationship more?

[BabyGund]

I meant all of it: doing things so the feelings would not die (communication, sending things, doing surprises, time, energy - anything that involves DOING something for your SO and DOING smth for the relationship to work)

Then we're 50/50. We will equally text and email each other. Some days it's more him, some days it's more me, some days it's equal.

[Elissa]

That's a hard question. When it comes to things like pictures, emails, and other "fun" things like that, my SO invests more. But, when it comes to patience, financial and emotional stability, and flexibility, I invest more.

[milaya]

Actually think it is 50/50. first I thought that I invested the most, by being pushy when it comes to talking time and overall "quality time", since I think he can last longer without talking and such. I'm also the one who complains when plans falls through or things like that, but come to think about it, he is the one who makes things happen (pays the flight tickets etc.) He is also the one ready to sacrifice a lot for us.

He is also the one who does his best to talk with me everyday even though he works 12 hour shifts with no days off.

Guess I'm the nagging partner and he is the planner. XD

[Rugger]

It really depends. When it comes to money, I invest more because I have the means to do so right now. He texts me a little bit more than I do him, purely because I work and when I get home, he just seems to remember before me.

[LadyEcstsasy]

That's a tough question and can easily become biased. I'd like to think we both give 50/50, but we each have a different 50 to give. I tend to spend more time I think working on our relationship and doing things for it, doing things for him, coming up with new ideas for things we can do. But that's my strong point. He spends time trying to find ways for us to be together (I think), spends more time worrying (sigh), probably spends more money (grr), and does more of the planning (because I urge him to). Usually I initiate conversation and I'm the one to point out when something isn't working and inevitably sometimes I end up solving the conflicts (by spelling it out for him). But again, these things are all my strong points. And who knows lol, maybe I'm biased in saying that. I know I don't do all the work but sometimes I feel when it comes to the mundane upkeep, I'm the one handling it. He waits for the right moment.

I'd say he's more invested than I am in this, at least by what he says. I think both of us need to work more on doing things rather than just saying -.-

[Moon]

Actually, we each give 100%. We may each have our strengths and weaknesses, but we balance each other. Neither of us have to work to keep up communication or feelings, we just both do it and enjoy it. If we weren't into the relationship, and equally vested, we'd go our separate ways. We appreciate each other and value what we each bring to the relationship, we don't keep score.

My thoughts are, if you feel you're stuck with the bulk of keeping the relationship going and you feel like you aren't getting it back, why stay? There is someone else out there willing to put the effort in, don't waste time, go out and find him/her.

[Silviar]

Actually, we each give 100%. We may each have our strengths and weaknesses, but we balance each other. Neither of us have to work to keep up communication or feelings, we just both do it and enjoy it. If we weren't into the relationship, and equally vested, we'd go our separate ways. We appreciate each other and value what we each bring to the relationship, we don't keep score.

My thoughts are, if you feel you're stuck with the bulk of keeping the relationship going and you feel like you aren't getting it back, why stay? There is someone else out there willing to put the effort in, don't waste time, go out and find him/her.

Amen to that!

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I'd say it's an even split. He tends to initiate a lot of the conversations, though I also initiate sometimes. I send him care packages or cards once a month. But, the most important factor is that both of us are 100% committed to making the LDR work! =]

[Alisz]

I'd say neither one of us puts in more than the other into our relationship. We pretty much balance each other out and there's honestly little effort that needs to be put forward from either of us. It's all pretty smooth and easy (aside from the obvious distance factor).

[Dziubka]

This is a difficult one and it's not that easy to answer.

I think in our relationship I invest more, but I also 'take' more, if that makes sense.

I visit him more often than he visits me, so I spend more money on trips, too. I try to spend time with him whenever I don't have classes, he's going on trips with his dad and his friends in the summer instead of spending the whole time with me.
BUT I'm the one that yells at him when he tries to wake me up. I get impatient when he doesn't understand something I'm trying to explain, etc etc. The reason we don't ever fight is, that he doesn't bitch back when I'm having one of my moods.

But even without that, I don't necessarily think that one person investing more is always a bad thing. If I'm giving more than him, it's not because I have to. It's because it is what makes me happy and I want to do it. A relationship is not some sort of money investment, where I'm looking for the best interest rates. It wouldn't work if I wasn't getting anything back in return, but it's nothing like that. I don't lose what I invest in our relationship, I give it to him/us. It doesn't matter if I get less in return, because what I still have what I gave, too. (I hope that made sense)

When it comes to presents, it's probably equal. He gives me more presents, but I usually put more work into mine.

[sabby64]

Its definitely 50/50. After my last relationship I promised myself I would only be with a man who is as much into this as me. I am constantly surprised by how much effort he puts into keeping this going, because my ex never put any effort into us... It's nice not having to do everything for a change.

[NaNi]

I'd say it's 50/50.

[NaNi]

I'd say it's 50/50.

[DarkSolitary]

I put I put more effort but in all honesty it's 50/50. I said I put more effort into it simply because I am the one who lights the fire under his butt to get things moving :P But overall it's 50/50.