She decided to break up...

[amit2k11]

Oh man, I'm so so sorry Cucaratcha. I know exactly what you're going through..
I agree completely with Amit here. And the others for that matter. You have to stop contacting her. It does make you look desperate and clingy and it weakens your chances of getting back together with her at some point. She might even block you entirely, like someone else on here said. Seriously.. you already sent her flowers, she knows you still love her, and the email is the worst idea you could do. Don't send it. Don't contact her and don't link to this forum (that would actually be the worst idea ever!). I know that you want to try everything and that you're right now feeling obsessed to get back with her. But being like this makes everything worse, trust me. You HAVE to endure this, it's a phase that you need to go through right now. The best thing you can do is try to keep yourself busy with other things that make you happy, cry when you need to, talk to people as much as you can about this, use this forum as much as you want, turn your phone off, go for a long walk or run.. whatever you can think of. You have to do this, you have to get through this and show her that you have a life too and can be happy without her. Then, maybe, there's a chance for you two later...
I wish you the best of luck, my heart goes out to you

Couldn't agree with you more on this. You are an individual first and then the added relations and responsibilities later. Grow as an individual first man. Good times and bad times will make you FEEL Alive and thats what love and life is all about.

[amit2k11]

Thats it. This shows she will be in touch with you. So don't go ahead and do anything more. Be normal and this is definitely a good sign man. Take care now and think about something else.

[Stina83]

That's true, you have to work on yourself and your issues first Cucaratcha. Now that she received the flowers, I would simply leave her alone for now. Don't contact her. And I mean, don't contact her at all. You did what you could, you said what you wanted to say, and that's all you can do. Try not to drive yourself crazy with this, thinking what you can do and write to her, you have to think about something else, or try to at least.
I hope you will take everyone's advice, you have to think clearly about this. Take care!

[amit2k11]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6u5ZneaW2c

Lifehouse - Whatever it takes. This song is for you man and for your heart to heal and think ahead.

I know its absurd to post a link like this,but I am doing this as I would do this to my own friend.

So chill man and cheers to life and fight back.

[Cucaratcha]

Thank you guys.
I will let you know when I have news.
She said the flowers are nice...

Well, good sign...

[Riyko]

my post my be a bit blunt and harsh sorry in advance

Honestly i'm surprised she didn't break up with your sooner, you posted a lot about your jealously issues and about how you didn't trust her. Like you'd get jealous if she would go to a bar with her girlfriend or you'd get jealous if she would talk to a guy or hang out with a guy because you don't know them. In any relationship LD or CD trust is a huge part of it and without trust there can be no relationship. You said you trusted her, but you didn't and so you masked a lot of it with the jealously.

On top of all of the jealously you were in a sense smothering her by texting her all the time and a bit clingy (which happens in all relationships), but it was too much. From my experience dating someone from South America, they like to be romantic and lovey, but to a certain point and then they are done with it. They have a completely different lifestyle from most of us. It's really common for them to go to nightclubs and bars almost every night with or without wanting to hook up with someone, for them it's fun and a chance to hang out with friends. It's common for them to call their friends mi amor depending on the age of their friends, they hug and kiss people they just met of opposite genders on the cheeks and the hugs are really close and warm hugs, but it's how they are.

Now while yes it's sad that you two broke up, i don't feel bad for you because (at least for me) I saw it coming by all of your posts and while everyone gave you advice on what to do to help you get over your issues, you'd always do the opposite of what we told you, even now you're doing it. You love her, give her some space don't contact her for a week or two and then talk to her, find out how she feels and also figure out how you feel.

Just because she said the flowers were nice doesn't mean she's going to change her mind, she could be saying that to not be rude about getting the flowers.

[Caitlin2009]

i agree with Riyko, your being a little bit over clingy which is one of my biggest pet peeves in a relationship(and i wont lie im a bit annoyed by you for that!), and i bet its one of her's besides working on your jelousy you need to work on your clingyness because i bet thats another reason why she broke up with you

[princessmia]

I am so sorry hun, just give it time. She just needs breathing room and time to think. The flowers most likely helped. If she just ignored your message then... =/ I don't know a lot of guys who would send flowers to someone after they had broken up with them. And if she sees them every day, you'll be on her mind consciously or subconsciously.
I know what you're going through, I've been through it before. It's not fun. I hope the outcome I went through is different than from what you will go through. I know it's hurts. I know your in pain. We're all here if you need us. We've got your back no matter where this takes you.
Hugs.

[Moon]

While I'm sorry you're hurting, I'm going to be honest with you and tell you that you had this coming. No decent, functional girl/woman is going to accept the kind of treatment you put her through. You say you want to fix this and change, ask for help, then disregard everything that's been said to you. You need to understand that you can't fix this. Flowers don't really mean anything, they're just flowers, and she asked you to leave her alone, of course they were nice, flowers ARE nice, that doesn't mean there's any hope in that statement. LEAVE THE GIRL ALONE!!! Totally and completely alone. You aren't helping yourself by harassing her with empty apologies, and to her, they are empty. You've done this before, yet continued to mistrust her and act like a brat, yeah, that's exactly how you were acting, and men don't act like that. You need to take the time to work on your own issues and mature, or this will happen in all your relationships. She's in school, she's not going to stop being in contact with other guys, and she is going to continue to talk/study/party with them, and I honestly don't think at this point in time, you're ready to handle that. You aren't going to be ready in a week, either.

Take some time, plenty of time, and grow up. In every relationship you'll ever have, your partner is going to be in contact with other men you don't know, that's life. Jealousy isn't romantic, it doesn't prove love, and it's unhealthy. Everyone gets jealous on occasion, its human nature, but most people can control it and it doesn't affect the relationship much. I don't think you're going to get her back, at least not in the near future, and you should use this as a life lesson for yourself and learn from it! Sure, I could be wrong, but she sounds like a strong girl, and strong, pretty girls don't have to deal with such ridiculous behavior. Look, for the most part, on here you're getting advice from women, and maybe you think we don't understand, this is different, we don't "get" it, but at least listen to Amit. He's coming to you as a peer and is giving you good advice.

You do sound like a nice guy, but you've got issues and they've got to be dealt with if you ever hope to have a successful relationship. If you love her, you'll disappear for a while.

[Brandie]

In my opinion being a woman, you need to leave her alone for awhile to get her thoughts together, you sending numerous texts, sending her flowers, when she wants to be alone, may just make her more upset and annoyed. The flowers might work they might not, it depends on her, but just leave her alone for a little so she can gather her thoughts together with what she wants.

[KristylovesMichael]

Truthfully, you will just make it worse trying to contact her. She needs some space and, after a while, she may come around and realize she made a bad mistake. Don't lose hope--especially if you love her.

[Miramaid]

I am a GF of a man who is just like you Cucaracha or probably even worse. During out 10 month relationship he broke up with me 3 times over his jealousy (or mine when he did smth stupid like wanting to have a girl he used to sleep with his flatmate (or other things). I will tell you that right after each break up he wanted back the very next day or even the same day. I took him back each time coz I really really love him, but where it lead me is that now, when things are good I feel like the good times wont last, and when things are bad I am only waiting for the next break up. I find myself feeling like I am only waiting for something to happen: for his other "jealousy" or insecurity wave, or for the next "my life sux" wave, or for the next time I do something wrong in his eyes and he will break up with me AGAIN. I love him to death and I cant even think of anyone else, but I find myself being more and more unhappy day by day. It got to a point where I think I am gonna start antidepressants next week coz I forgot how to even enjoy my life. IT is a sad place to be and if that is how your GF felt and if she finally broke up with you, I guess she really has had enough.
I am still with my BF and I really really hope that one or both of us will just be able to RELAX. I know I too am insecure, but this relationship is making me even more so. I love my BF to death but if nothing will change, I too eventually will walk away tho even thinking about it makes my heart die inside.

Give yourself and her some time. Do not contact her for a week like you were told. If you can try to save up $ to go visit her later and in the mean time go get some counseling at school or somwhere and read self help books and articles about how not to be jealous (there is a ton of things in google). Do not ruin even more what has already been ruined. Rebuilding smth is only possible when you realize that you NEED to change and when you realize the mistakes you have made and what exactly YOU need to work on to not make those mistakes again. I really wish you luck. Give her some tiem and give yourself some times and when you meet her again show her what is it that you have DONE to change for a better person. Coz words are just words, but actions speak for themselves.

[vpavelock]

I can completely relate with the jealousy problems, on my end and my SO end. Although I think your SO was problem fed up with the emotional strain of your problem, she was probably hoping that you may finally get better too. I think you should give her some space, but also I think a letter would be a good idea. Write her a letter telling her a real way you will work on the jealousy problem, and make sure it's not all talk. Make a plan that works for you, whether it's praying that she will always be faithful to you when she's with another guy or venting with music. Find a healthy way to deal with the problem. Use the letter to tell her you don't want to give up on being with her, and show her that you love her and want to get better FOR her. Good luck.

[amandamayaaa]

wow, i'm really really sorry to hear that.. i actually just wrote on your other post.. and thought i'd just copy and paste it so you could see.. but i'm not sure now how much the advice will help.. all i can say is don't bombard her with stuff, she needs her space, it might help her clear her head and figure some stuff out. i wrote in the other post that my SO told me this was his last straw, so i know if i dont change he will leave me as well. anyways.. here's what i wrote in the other post:

i just wrote a thread about how i'm learning to not sweat the small stuff
and for the past few months i have been just like that

everytime we'd be texting, and he'd take a long time i'd always ask.. what took you so long, why weren't you texting me? it sounds so stupid typing that out, and im embarrassed that thats the person i became.

the distance has really really been getting to me, i hate not seeing him at all, and it's made me question his loyalty for no reason. he's never given me a reason to not trust him, and i feel terrible for questioning it

anyways, a few nights ago he got so fed up with how immature i was acting he told me he was just about done, and it scared me so much my heart was racing, and i didn't know what to say.

after that night, i realized, changing wasn't an option anymore, it HAD to happen, or i was going to ruin this relationship for good.

since then, i've just somehow not been letting the little things get to me.. sure it's still hard, but day by day it gets a lot easier.

i've just had to tell myself, if i don't change and get my act together, i'm going to lose the love of my life

and i have been SO much happier lately just because i'm not letting all the negativity get to me

you just have to kind of have an out of body experience, and think. is this really who i want to be? and if you don't want to be that person, then change it, you just have to believe you can

[uniquefem]

I am so sorry to read all of this happens to you..
I don't like jealous, controlling or over protected guys. It feels like they made me running out of breathe... loosing my self because of them because i had to be careful of what i said, have to be able to keep secret sometimes from the guy because he will got upset over things that i thought meaningless! (like having dinner with 5 friends and 3 of them are guys?)

When you're in relationship, you still need your own space. Your own time for your self. And your partner should respect those too..

Just try to keep your self busy.. do things that you normally did before you met her. It helps to get your mind on something else.. so you wont think about her too much.

Good luck for you.. wish everything will be better for you