She decided to break up...

[Cucaratcha]

We spoke a little bit via SMS, she has insited a lot on her friends, that yesterday was cool with her friends, that her friends are cool. That it was nice because her friends drove her back home
Is she testing me to see how I react ?
Of course I told her I was happy she could do something else than studying and that she could cheer up.
I told her, you tell me when you have time, and I call you, if it's ok for you.
She said "What do you want to speak about, I dont understand"
I said "I just want to speak with you, about some stuff"
This is my first real relationship, I'm learning, I make mistakes, that's how we learn the best, no ?
I understood my behaviour was more than selfish, unfair, whatever, I did wrong.
I spent the whole weekend speaking with my mother, which has made us closer, she told me about her first love as well. She advice me about how I should react about the things.
Yesterday I called at her house, her sister answered, she told me she was really happy when she received the flowers. She said thank you 3 times... I asked her if she had seen the message, she said yes, but that we had already spoken about that yesterday.

I don't know what to think. Deep inside of me, I feel like it's over, she changed her status on FB, she told me "really I won't change my mind" 2 or 3 times...
I feel "new", I really want another chance to show her what I learnt. I guess this week I won't contact her too much. Probably nothing tomorrow, and on tuesday I will just ask her about the results she will got from the hospital, and wait that she contacts me.
It's really difficult, she told me twice she didn't need a boyfriend now, that she was better alone, and that she wanted us to be friend.

But the flowers and the way she insisted on her friends... I don't know if I'm taking those things because I still hope we can go back together, or if they are REAL sign...

[Caitlin2009]

well if its your first love, you feel and know its over. why not just be satisfied that your still friends at least, and dont carry over the other bad things to your next relationship, learn from them so you dont make the same mistakes

[erinewelsh]

Then you've done all you can. You don't need to remind her of all the good memories you have together. She was there...she remembers. All you can do is let her know what you think and how you feel. You can't force her or convince her to be with you. I know that at times like this, the hardest thing to do is nothing, but that really is what is best. Let her take her time to think this through. If she doesn't want to do it anymore, then unfortunately you have to be OK with that. The human heart is a crazy thing, but it is also incredibly resilient. It can bounce back from just about anything. Good luck to you. I hope things work out for you.

I've written an email and I'm waiting that she's back home to send it to her.
In this email I basically tell her all the good moments we've had together. I apologize for the way I acted, I tell her how much I love her and I ask her to give me another chance...
It's not what you guys told me to do, but I don't know, I feel like I have to do that
I'm even hesitating to link her the forum to show her I'm trying everything to be better...

I'm completely lost

[Rugger]

You've done all you can do. Now you need to leave her alone.

Relationships are about trust. If there is not trust, there is no relationship. I'm sorry yours had to end this way.