Negative thoughts..?

[kymckenna]

I will be the first to admit I am HORRIBLE. I guess you could say I have a pessimistic mind when it comes to my relationship when I miss my SO too much. I go through the "what ifs" and everything you could possibly imagine.

It doesn't happen till I've hit my mark for not seeing him.. usually around a month or two. Up until that point I'm happy and content and optimistic.

My question is how can I stop it when it happens. I know I need to "keep myself busy" and I do but I need something a little more then that.

Anything is appreciated! Thank you for the help.

[Brandie]

I'm like you, sometimes it just happens and I can't help it. But what I do to turn around my thoughts, is I like to go through texts he sent me, stuff he sent me, letters he wrote, listen to songs we listen to together, to remind myself that my bf isn't going anywhere, because he loves me, and then I usually will write him a letter just telling him that I miss him, and I'm thinking of him, and that I will always love him, and when he gets stuff like that, it makes him realize also he has nothing to worry about either!

[becca53088]

All I can say is, amen to this 100%. I don't have any advice to offer about this (yet) because I go through these same problems on a daily basis. It is something I have been trying to work on a great deal. But, I just want to say that you are not the only one who does this by any means. I feel ya!

[loveknowsnodistance27]

Brandie hit the nail on the head. I try SO HARD to stay positive and deter all negativity from my life, as I am a believer in the Law of Attraction, and that the thoughts you put out will impact the results in your life. But, I'll admit I have a little, okay a lot of trouble staying positive at times. I go through spurts where I'll be convinced my SO doesn't care about me and doesn't love me anymore. It's so annoying, and I just try and listen to positive music, usually Bob Marley and Michael Franti & Spearhead. Also, rereading the old IMs and texts makes it better.

[paulawriteslove]

Whenever I start to really really miss my SO I usually just try to keep myself busy. I'll call a friend to get dinner or watch some TV. It's definitely hard to keep my mind off of everything when I miss him! But ya

[vpavelock]

Ah, I agree that it is so hard. For the first month apart, you're still on that love high from the last time you saw them, you still remember exactly how it feels to be with them, to be touched by them etc. But as time goes on, it is hard to remember these things, and it is a lot harder to feel secure in your relationship. Last weekend was a week away from my boyfriend and we were starting to feel really sad about the distance, and the same thing happened a lot sooner the last time we were apart (and we had to go longer without seeing each other that time.) Last weekend we solved our problem by skyping (a little sexually too), watching a movie together and just trying to act as normally as we would without the distance. It was a great long distance weekend for us. But then this weekend we were both really sad and missing eachother again. I guess my best advice would be to set up something you both can look forward to, it will help you get through the days. If you know a certain day will be dedicated to some special kind of bonding, it will make the distance easier. Also, make sure you are overly expressive about how you feel about them. Unlike in a non-LD relationship where you can SHOW the person how much you care, LD focuses a lot on words and little gestures of showing how much they mean.