Got her worried sick

[Chris]

I've gotten my SO worried sick and I hate it. =( She's so worried that I'm going to be killed or captured when I do get deployed, and I will be, since I'm infantry. I joined the Army and I try to keep reassuring her that everything will be alright but I don't think she believes that.

In fact, I'm sure she believes I WILL be KIA or WIA, maybe even become a POW. We both know it's possible that I'll die but I have to believe the best and hope I'll come home. I keep trying to reassure her that everything will turn out okay (of course I don't know that for a fact, but I try to believe it) but I don't know what to say anymore and I'm just trying to stay positive.

I'm not upset with her and I understand where she's coming from but it's really hurting my morale that she has such a negative view on it and doesn't seem to have any hope. Is anyone in a similar situation? If so, any advice on how to stay positive and cheer her up would be great.

On the bright side, since I joined, I get to see her more. I'm going to see her this Easter and I'm really excited. =D

-Christopher

[ErinKristine]

That is tricky, my guy deployed not too long ago and has an MOS which puts him danger quite often. Sometimes I don't hear from him for a few days one time a few weeks. I didn't even cry the day he left, I just knew that he was leaving to do a job he loves and he would be unhappy if he didn't get deployed. I really don't know what advice to offer to make her feel better about the situation. I know several infantrymen who have been deployed and came back safe.
I'm sorry her negative view is hurting your morale, although I can understand that she wants to express her fears. Have you told her that her talking about her worries is affecting you?

[rivi87]

I understand how she feels. Soon my SO will be deploying and his job will put in some dangerous places so who knows what can happen. I'm just going to hope for the best. These are things you cant control ultimately. I dont show him that it bothers me because he will need to be on top of things for his men and his tanks he has to lead. I vent to other people about it instead and that helps. I mean he knows im concerned bc what kind of girlfriend would I be if I wasnt? I have all the faith in the world in him that he will do his job over there and come back safe. You know your abilities better than her and with all the training I know you went through to prepare (I am in the military after all) you should have more personal belief in yourself to accomplish the task at hand.

[nicole]

My SO may not be in the army, but I had a similar reaction to your girlfriend when he told me he was being sent to Mexico last week. Believe be he sent me emails of security and itineraries to put my mind at ease, but nothing worked. For me I was worrying, because if something does happen, I won't get told until one of his parents contacts me, and even then there will be nothing I can do. She may be feeling pretty helpless too right now. The thought of you being gone, without much contact will also be getting her down.

Maybe you could sit her down and ask her SPECIFICALLY what her fears and worries are and try and reassure her no matter what, you are doing your best. I would tell her how her behavior is affecting you too. As my SO put it "I rely on you, just as much as you rely on me", I know she is upset, but she needs to be supporting you through this as well. When there is nothing you can do, you just have to grit your teeth and make good of what time you CAN spend together now.

[Riyko]

I've gotten my SO worried sick and I hate it. =( She's so worried that I'm going to be killed or captured when I do get deployed, and I will be, since I'm infantry. I joined the Army and I try to keep reassuring her that everything will be alright but I don't think she believes that.

You said she's worried that you are going to be killed or captured when you are deployed, but you really don't put her at ease by saying you will be either killed or captured. So no i don't blame her for worrying about you. If i was dating a guy and he told me that i'd be worried sick too.

[Chris]

That was taken way out of context. When I said "She's so worried that I'm going to be killed or captured" I meant that SHE thinks I will be. Hence, "SHE'S so worried"...
Also notice that I said "I keep trying to reassure her that everything will turn out okay" Not once did I say I believed or told her I would die or be captured/wounded though I did say I knew it's possible. Doesn't matter now anyway, since I was just disqualified from the military. Medical reasons.