had to leave my SO to travel 10,000m back home for an indefinate period of time

[gilette]

My first serious relationship is now a LDR. I just left my SO of 6 months almost a week ago after my one year abroad was up to go back home. I don't know when I'll be back, I need to make enough money to be able to go back and I already feel so depressed. I cry every day and miss him so much it hurts. Seeing my friends and family at home helps ease the pain but as soon as I'm alone it comes back.

He doesn't seem as affected as I am and what makes it worse is that I don't know when the separation will end. The time difference is so great that whenever I do need to talk to him he is sleeping or at work. I don't know what to do. I don't even feel like I belong at home anymore and no one understands or care to listen to what I'm going through. I'm used to seeing him everyday (as we lived together) and now I barely get to talk to him once a day. Will this feeling get better over time? Please help.

[LostInLove]

First thing's first, welcome to the site!

You sound just like me when my SO first left. For me the first two weeks were absolutely brutal. I was sad all the time, I constantly missed him, I couldn't imagine how I was going to make this work....and then I adjusted. You will too. It takes a while, but you get used to it and things get much, much better. Eventually not seeing each other becomes normal, and then the time that you do get to spend together becomes that much more special. See this as a time to improve the communication aspect of your relationship and to get to know each other even better. If you can get through this you can get through so many more things too.

The times zones do make it hard to talk, but can you guys arrange skype dates or something like that so you have something to look forward to? That might make things a little easier. Also, guys tend to try to be all macho and hide their more sensitive feelings. He may not show it, but I'm sure your SO is missing you just as much as you're missing him.

I'm also in an LDR that has no definite end. It's certainly a challenge that can seem overwhelming at times, but learn to take it a day at a time and let your future self worry about closing the distance. Right now just enjoy what you have, which is a loving, caring SO that's willing to brave the distance to be with you!

[gilette]

thank you soo much. Its nice to communicate with people who understand my situation, I felt really alone in this before, its nice to know that I'm not!

You give me so much hope and I do know that a pro of all of this is that 'if we can survive this, we can survive anything'.
We try to skype but so far we've just been saying "tomorrow" and never seem to be on at the same time.

I will try and take this one day at a time and hope the pain eases. Thank you so much for your advice!

[FadedSunrise]

*raises hand* LDR with no definite end. No definite chance of success. We're together right now because we really like each other, and would regret the future if we didn't at least try for it now. We also met when I was studying abroad, except I was much shorter term-just 3 months. When we started talking I only had a month left to go, and by the time we both confessed it was only like a week and a half to go. We contemplated whether to get together at all for a long time, because it would basically be the same as starting in LD. But in the end yeah, not wanting to leave regrets for not trying.

Definitely take it day by day-it gets easier everyday, I promise you! I have a vague idea of being able to visit in another 3 months, then after that in a year(but this might not even be right), but now 2+ months after coming back, its beginning to feel normal that we just can't see each other physically. Because that's how it is. It also helps that I got very busy-with extracurriculars, a full course load, volunteering, and training for a 10k. Also started knitting a scarf for him, and writing regular letters. Between all of that, time is finally passing at a reasonable pace for me.

I know you'll get to this point too, good luck, hang in there