I have a question..

[blueeyes79]

I asked my boyfriend if he was gonna tell his mom about me at some point... he said maybe at some point.. My question is, when a guy says that not a good sign??

[LadyMarchHare]

In a CD relationship usually that's a bad sign, but LDRs are a different ballgame altogether. A lot of parents don't understand social interaction via the internet or any long distance method and believe a relationship forged from that is not serious or real. It's hard to say "I have a girlfriend, but she lives in x" to them and expect a positive reaction. A lot of people in LDRs don't introduced their SOs until there's a visit or after the distance is closed because they don't want to fight with their family and friends about all the paranoid delusions they might have about them.

If you're not happy with his answer, talk to him about it. It's ultimately his decision and putting pressure on him one way or the other won't help, but you can voice your opinion about it and let him know where you stand.

[FadedSunrise]

No, I don't necessarily think its' bad. I was one of those who was naive and tried first hand to stupidly tell my parents. Got the worst reaction ever. Clammed up and am now taking things secretly. In time, with relationship progression and confidence, I will probably have to tell in the end. But since I already told and got a bad response, I'm definitely taking my sweet time. It could just be a sign that he thinks who he chooses as a girlfriend is non of his family's business.

[blueeyes79]

Thank you.. I never thought of it that way. I just asked him is all, not putting any pressure on him at all. That could be why he hasnt told his friends or siblings about me. Although he told one of his brothers about me.

[blueeyes79]

I just pantic cause this is my first LDR and I dont know what the norm is.

[LadyMarchHare]

It's alright. When I first started dating my guy, the only one who knew at first was my best friend. I didn't tell my mom until a week later and half of my family still doesn't know about him even though it's been a year. Everyone's different in who they tell or if they tell anyone at all.

[heatherotic]

I agree about the stigma of LDRs. I think that when I tell some people about how I met my SO, they don't take my relationship as seriously as I do, which pisses me off because I'm in it to win it. I would just ask him why he "may or may not" tell her about you.

[garnet]

I don't think it's bad. I mean, it may not be ideal, but, it can be reasonable in an LDR situation sometimes.

[amit2k11]

First thing first, don't assume beforehand. This unnecessarily creates wedges and voids in your mind. Not good,right.

Secondly, I hope, you had asked this casually and out of, not so much of a serious intention. If that is the case, then it is fine that the reply what you have got is an absolute cut and your SO has read your mind well.

However, if your relationship is at a point where 'you' think he should be telling about the 'beautiful relationship' to his near and dear once, then may be you guys can discuss it out.

But idea is don't rush things work out for their own good.

Have a great day.

[amit2k11]

First thing first, don't assume beforehand. This unnecessarily creates wedges and voids in your mind. Not good,right.

Secondly, I hope, you had asked this casually and out of, not so much of a serious intention. If that is the case, then it is fine that the reply what you have got is an absolute cut and your SO has read your mind well.

However, if your relationship is at a point where 'you' think he should be telling about the 'beautiful relationship' to his near and dear once, then may be you guys can discuss it out.

But idea is don't rush things work out for their own good.

Have a great day.

[machstx]

sounds to me he is waiting until more time has passed and you guys are sound. Like LMH said some parents can be critical. My BF's parents still dont know about me and we have been together a year and a half and we plan to marry eventually. See what I mean? Its almost as if he isnt going to tell his parents until we live near eachother. Boys are different than us girls we like to tell our moms relationship stuff

[LovingHim]

I personally don't have a close relationship with my family, so I have never felt the need to tell them about my past relationships (I used to share a room with my 2 sisters, so we never went to my house). Also, I don't like to rush into anything, and I wanted to wait till we were sound.

My current boyfriend is the first guy I told about my mom, I was skyping with her during Christmas and she was asking me what I was doing so I told her - at that time we were together for about 5 months, so patience!

[loveknowsnodistance27]

It's fine. My boyfriend and I were close distance for 14 days before he left for school, but we were best friends for 12 years. His mom and him don't have a great relationship, but she LOVES me! He never told his mom we were a couple...she found out from their next door neighbor! Lol, she wasn't mad, but she'd wished he would have told her.

[13000km]

So far, we haven't told either of our families the full story yet, we just haven't seen the need to...yet. My parents know about him, but aren't sure about our relationship. His family has met me and we had a lot of fun together, but we basically let them assume whatever they want to and I've found that it has helped me avoid some questions/doubts they might have. It's both our first LDR as well, and a lot of times I feel like we're doing things in the wrong order, not really knowing what the "norm" is.

He might have his own set of reasons as to why he doesn't want to tell his mum at this point in time. It'll be great if he would share those reasons with you. (:

[BabyGund]

Honestly, I'm quite surprised his family knows anything about me. Considering how disastrous his last LDR ended, I would have thought he wouldn't have said anything about us. But yet, I met his dad last weekend. Now I am not really sure if his brother and his family know anything about me.

My parents don't know, because I know how they will react - that I should be more focused on my daughter than my dating life. But they do have suspicions. I'll wait til they ask me outright, if ever.