Need some advice or something...

[sagittariusgirl89]

So, right now I just got done crying...John works until 10 tonight and tomorrow he is off. Normally, on the nights he doesn't have to workt the next day we talk for an hour before bed, and on the night he has to work the next day we talk for 20 minutes. For a couple nights he would go out with friends and I would stay up but would go to bed because I would have to get up the next morning...

Anyway, John texted me and said he is going to Erie with his friend tonight. At first, I didn't mind but then asked when we could talk, he said he would call me when they got there (not an hour convo) and that he won't be home till early morning.

Im upset because we aren't gonna talk long at all, and I have to go to bed with out hearing his voice (which is hard). Plus, this is a spontaneous trip...WHICH WE NEVER DO! I tried telling him how I felt and of course he said "Glad to know you get angry when I decide to do anything fun".

Does anyone see how this sucks for me? I feel so fed up.

[LostInLove]

Of course it sucks that you can't talk with your SO as much as you like, but on the other hand he shouldn't have to turn down a spontaneous trip with his friend just so you can hear his voice before you go to sleep. With any relationship it's important to maintain your independance, and this is especially true with LDRs. So in my mind you shouldn't get upset with him for going on this trip.

It is hard when you're used to one thing and then it changes. I have trouble too when I can't say goodnight to my SO because it's what we always do. I think you're going to have to apologize for getting upset, but let him know you just haven't been able to talk with him in a few nights and that you miss hearing his voice. If the timing works, maybe you can ask if he can give you a quick call before he lives so you can tell him to have a good time (or something along these lines). It's not the full talk you were hoping for, but it's better than nothing.

As for the spontaneous trip, I'm not sure how far apart you are compared to how far he is from Eerie, but a night trip with a friend is probably a bit easier to organize than a trip to see you because he'll want to stay for a lot longer. If it's a similar distance maybe after he comes back mention that maybe the two of you should do a spontaneous trip sometime. Don't press it, just let him know you'd be up for it.

But yes, it's unfair to get angry at your SO for spending time with his friends. He certainly shouldn't neglect you, but normally you talk every night. That can be hard to keep up sometimes.

[LotusWing]

I'm not trying to be rude but you should give him privacy too. He needs time to have fun too, and because you two are in a LDR so you can't expect him to always be there for you, chat with you or talk to you on the phone every night/morning.
Try to put yourself in his shoes. If you like to hang out with friends, and you have many things you want to do but because your SO always want to talk to you on the phone or chat online, then won't you have less time for yourself? If your SO get upset because he wants to talk to you every single night or morning, and it will ruin your mood or fun. How would you feel?

I was like that too when I started dating my SO, and then he was not happy cause I wanted him to spend his precious time with me. A LDR needs lots of communication and time for each other, but everyone needs privacy too! After my SO and I talked about it, I've given my SO privacy and more time for himself. He spends lots of time on games, videos, work, friends etc. And I did the same too. We do talk every morning and nights, but most are 10 min and weekends 30 min till 3 hours. Depends on what we were doing, but we're happy with it.
Give your SO time for himself, tell him to have fun and support him.
I wish you two the best

[NaNi]

You should just be happy that you get to talk to him every day. Most LDR couples can't do that.

I'm sure one night won't be too difficult. You can look forward to your next talk instead!

[paulawriteslove]

You can make it through this! Focus on the next time you can talk. Try to be strong and positive *hugs*

[sagittariusgirl89]

You guys are right, thanks for the replies

Im just gonna have to suck it up and say sorry and to deal with tonight. I guess its kinda jealousy too :/ I will just worry until he gets home-- I HATE WORRYING lol