Emotionally Drained

[jenlee]

So the past couple weeks have been hell. First off our 10 day vacation in Florida was horrible and we could not get a long for the life of us....but according to him, he had a blast. whatever but the 3rd to the last day my biological father had a stroke and end up in the hospital in the twin cities. So Sunday when I flew back to Wisconsin I end up having to drive the 2 hours to my apartment and then 5 hours to my mom and step dad's house. And since then I've become Power of Attorney and power of medical and I'm so emotionally stressed out. And he keeps getting worse and it just doesn't look promising.
But last night was the peak, I just had enough, i broke down and started crying and I was texting with my SO and I said "I'm so emotionally drained, I wish you were here." and his response was "Do you really? I only usually make things worse" And its like JFC! I only want some support and for him to be like " I wish I was there to make it easier on you." But no I get "I'm horrible at offering support." So I honestly feel like i"m doing this alone, which I am! Whats the point of being in a relationship in general if the person your with can't show support in your hour of need. So what do I do? Do I say F-it and just end the relationship because obviously I'm not getting the support I need or deserve?
I need input.

[LadyMarchHare]

It sounds like he was being honest with you, if he said he was awful at offering support. Maybe it makes him uncomfortable, maybe he doesn't know what to say, either way some people are honestly bad at being someone's shoulder to cry on. It obviously wasn't the answer you were looking for, but I think I'd rather have someone say "sorry, can't help you" than try and make things honestly worse. You're in a bad frame of mind right now with your father having a stroke and now you have legal pressure on you due to this and you didn't even really have a good time in Florida beforehand. Don't jump the gun on a decision like leaving the guy right now, wait until things calm down and you can think straight without wanting to cry or hide under the bed.

Mainly I would talk to him about that and how it made you feel as well as your view on the vacation since it seems something went wrong on your end or he's just lying to cover up whatever went down. He needs to know that even if he sucks at giving advice or whatnot, he could shut up for five minutes and let you get stuff off your chest and then just say 'sorry' or tell you everything's gonna get better. It's something he could work on. Like I said, sometimes being the shoulder's an awkward moment for people and they can't deal well with it. That's a minor misdemeanor in a relationship and in my opinion certainly not something to drop him like a hot potato over, especially since it can be fixed.

[Miramaid]

I do not know what to advice you. I have been in similar and even much worse situations as you and I still haven't figured anything out. I usually give it time and of course with time bad things fade out but other bad things come...so I do not know. I only wish we had a superpower to know what our SOs REALLY feel about us so we could make the right decision based on that.
I wish you luck and hope things work out for you

[Mara]

I'm so sorry to hear about your father and everything you are going through.

Have you tried telling your SO though how you need to be supported? Support is often hard to give to people especially since everyone is so different. What is comforting to another person is not comforting to the next and it sounds like he doesn't have much faith in the fact that he helps you to feel better in times like these.

I don't personally think this is something to end the relationship over though.

[Heather]

I wouldn't personally just end the relationship because of maybe that one little miscommunication. Maybe he didn't realize how much you really needed the support and he wanted to hear it directly from you that you really needed and wanted him there. Talk it out with him and let him know how you feel, be honest and see where it goes from there.