Age difference, older ladies, did you get grief?

[LeilaniJoi]

I am glad someone started a thread like this I am 17 years older than my SO.. I am 43 and he is 26. I guess the word that gets me the worse is "cougar" because to me it implies some wrinkled up old hag chasing younger men. The word is used sometimes in jest and I am quick to remind him or anyone around that he chased me down.. not vice versa. I do worry sometimes about women his age or at least younger than me that might be more physically appealing, but that's not anything you can control and it's not a real concern because I know where his heart is. He could be with someone much younger if he wanted but he doesn't, he wanted to be with me and kind of held on tight until I couldn't come up with any more excuses for it to not work. That was nearly 3 months ago and I wouldn't change that for the world. He has been everything I've looked for for a very long time. There are times when I see the age difference, usually with a way of thinking or just a difference in generational ideas but they are always very small. I'm open minded so it's not a real bother and he is a deep thinker and really opens my eyes sometimes to things I had not considered before.

What happened with us when we met and started talking was that we just clicked on many levels. The age was known from the beginning and just was never a real issue. We have met in person a couple of times now and already have plans to meet up again in 3 weeks for a concert and a long visit where I'll be looking at jobs and apartments there for a move in the (hopefully) near future. Some men just like older women and it works out very well for us. He is old enough to know what he wants, has been married and isn't a kid anymore.. far more mature than his age (sometimes more mature than me O.o) and I've never acted mine so we meet in the middle somewhere and have a good time there

As far as grief I really haven't gotten any. My friends (my true friends) and my family are all happy to see me happy and excited about meeting him, my girlfriends give me the thumbs up and interesting advice like I need to start taking vitamins to keep up with him LOL but no grief really. Any issues were all in my head and once I got myself around those it's been a wonderful walk together since then. Love knows no age or distance either one. End of the day it's about being with someone you love that loves you ever bit as much in return and being happy together.

[books]

Actually really glad I can come to this thread for refuge *smile* and to share something that happened to me earlier...

So, I was just invited to serve on the board for an NGO that does work in Nicaragua (my SO's country). Tonight was my first night and after the board meeting we went out for dinner. Conversation was flowing and I felt pretty relaxed. I mentioned my SO briefly, only really saying that he was a big part of my interest in Nicaragua. Of course, when the questions about "what does he do?" come, I always get a little nervous cause it means I have to say "well, he's still in college". So the questions came, I answered then and then moved on. This one particularly curious woman then asks me straight out how old I am. I tell her. A couple minutes later she asks "and how old is your boyfriend?". I just said that he's younger than me. Another woman blurted out "well, by a lot or what?!". So, I say "yea...by a lot.". Suddenly the table is in silence and I'm sure my face is red from the embarrassment. One woman must've sensed that I was uncomfortable so she says "oh honey don't worry, women live longer than men, you're just fine". Talk about awkward.

Anyone who says there is no social stigma surrounding older women with younger men is just really out of touch. Imagine if I was a guy in the same situation? No thought would've been given to how old my partner was. Or if I said my boyfriend was older. Nope, no one cares.

And yea, the word cougar bothers me as well. It sounds very predatorial. Besides, I still consider myself young, have never been married, have no kids...and yea, he's the one who chased me-why should I be classified as a cougar?

/end rant

[LeilaniJoi]

Actually really glad I can come to this thread for refuge *smile* and to share something that happened to me earlier...

So, I was just invited to serve on the board for an NGO that does work in Nicaragua (my SO's country). Tonight was my first night and after the board meeting we went out for dinner. Conversation was flowing and I felt pretty relaxed. I mentioned my SO briefly, only really saying that he was a big part of my interest in Nicaragua. Of course, when the questions about "what does he do?" come, I always get a little nervous cause it means I have to say "well, he's still in college". So the questions came, I answered then and then moved on. This one particularly curious woman then asks me straight out how old I am. I tell her. A couple minutes later she asks "and how old is your boyfriend?". I just said that he's younger than me. Another woman blurted out "well, by a lot or what?!". So, I say "yea...by a lot.". Suddenly the table is in silence and I'm sure my face is red from the embarrassment. One woman must've sensed that I was uncomfortable so she says "oh honey don't worry, women live longer than men, you're just fine". Talk about awkward.

Anyone who says there is no social stigma surrounding older women with younger men is just really out of touch. Imagine if I was a guy in the same situation? No thought would've been given to how old my partner was. Or if I said my boyfriend was older. Nope, no one cares.

And yea, the word cougar bothers me as well. It sounds very predatorial. Besides, I still consider myself young, have never been married, have no kids...and yea, he's the one who chased me-why should I be classified as a cougar?

/end rant

We need a "like" button. I'm right with you.. predatorial is a good word and describes how I feel about it exactly. When I'm with my guy the age is not even an issue. I feel protected and loved and safe... that's all that matters.