I need to vent...

[8983MilesofLove]

I need to vent. Sorry.

So Chris went to a huge party yesterday...then after the party went clubbing....then hung out at a friends until 3am. Then today he randomly went to a huge music festival (which REALLY annoyed me because the tickets cost loads and he's supposed to be saving money to come back over here!), and then once again went to a 'friends' place after....he still isnt home and its now 2:30am over there.

P****D off to say the least. I havent spoken to him all weekend because of his jam packed partying life. I've had basically no texts, no emails, no messages, no calls, no nothing. So feeling very lonely, unloved and forgotten about.

Not only am I hurt that hes done two things he knew I wouldnt like and would make me upset...but that he went to a music festival FULL of MY favourite bands...AND he went with a 'friend' who's basically an a***h***

Reasons his 'friend' is a D***:
1. He had 'ahem' with his ex girlfriend when they were still going out
2. He ignored and ditched my SO for ages
3. He always insults my SO
4. He just uses him
5. He had a huge fight with all his other friends which is the only reason he is now friends again with Chris...because he came crawling back...and chris being chris has to be friends with everyone.
6. He's generally an idiot who f***s anything that moves...including 12 year old girls.

Also, I'm upset because I'm worried that Chris doesn't want this anymore. I'm not sure why, I just have a 'feeling'.

Reasons why I think he's over me:
1. He's been putting off coming back over here and booking a ticket for ages now.
2. He always goes out partying and I'm worried he's hooking up with other girls...
3. He's just generally 'off' with me and always seems to be annoyed with me
4. He doesn't really seem to want to talk to me anymore
5. Whenever I have down days where I miss him he always says stuff like 'if you dont stop moaning and crying im gonna hang up' and 'unless you stop this im not gonna come back over' and 'how come you feel like that!?' and 'you're annoying me' and 'i cant take this' and 'i dont see why you're finding it so hard'.
6. He keeps telling me I'm too negative and need to stop having bad days (erm...maybe i would if i actually knew when i would next be seeing you and have something to look forward to!!!!!!).


ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! *SCREAM* *CRY* *STAMP FEET*

FOR F SAKE!

I dont know what to do.


Sorry for the vent. I really needed to get all this out.

[LadyMarchHare]

That volume of going out, whether alone or with friends, smells to me of pretending he's single again. It could be something else, but that's merely my take on it. I've never really known a committed guy to go blasting money all over the place and staying out that late so frequently or even at all. That and his attitude towards you is flat out mean. People are allowed to get depressed and when they do they expect those they're closest to, to support them. If he's getting stressed out about you being stressed out, he needs to say something and not "you're annoying me." If ever my SO told me that while I was down I'd be handing his scrotum back to him after I made it into a hot pink coinpurse full of tampons.

I'd wait until you calm down, which may take a while, to grab him when he's available or send him a message saying he needs to call/text/IM you ASAP, that it's important. If he doesn't respond, send the message again. When you have his attention, tell him exactly how you feel, that you're angry that he blew a wad of cash on that festival when he said he was saving to be with you, that he's out until God knows when doing God knows what with friends or anyone else while you're left worrying about not only his safety, but the safety of your relationship, and that you do not EVER deserve to be treated the way he's treated you lately when you're down and missing him. Put your foot down, he needs to either come clean and admit he can't do this anymore or clean up his act, drop the drama with that asshole friend, and be the boyfriend you deserve. You don't need to be jerked around and put through hell just because he can't man up and say it's over or what his problem is.

[garnet]

That volume of going out, whether alone or with friends, smells to me of pretending he's single again. It could be something else, but that's merely my take on it. I've never really known a committed guy to go blasting money all over the place and staying out that late so frequently or even at all. That and his attitude towards you is flat out mean. People are allowed to get depressed and when they do they expect those they're closest to, to support them. If he's getting stressed out about you being stressed out, he needs to say something and not "you're annoying me." If ever my SO told me that while I was down I'd be handing his scrotum back to him after I made it into a hot pink coinpurse full of tampons.

As usual, I agree with LMH. The first sentence especially rings true to me. That change to being a "bachelor" is just what my ex husband did in his activity, personality, and spending. We were unable to work it out, but we had a lot more problems than just that. I sincerely hope that after a very serious discussion where he can't get away with remarks turning things around on you, he will straighten up. :l

[Miramaid]

Geeez I am sorry I feel ya. Not sure what to say except try to breath deeply, look at yourself, evaluate who you are honestly (all your positives) and hang out with some good friends.
If you can stop contacting him and see what he will do and if he will worry at all. I do not know how long you guys have been together and how old both of you are, but if you are young, then may be he is just not ready to commit.
It really sux what he does and how you feel. I wish you a good weekend! Treat yourself with something that you like

[8983MilesofLove]

Ok so I just spoke to him for quite a while. He apologized and said he didnt mean to hurt me, he just had a busy weekend and everything happened at once, (which is true coz usually he doesnt go out like he has this w/e), and he said he didnt stop thinking about me and they just had no signal at the festival (it was in the middle of no where...which i know for a fact coz I checked the website :P). I told him is annoyed me when he got annoyed at me being upset and he again apologized and said i had every right to be upset and he was sorry for making it worse. He said he cares about me more than anything and loves me lots and the last thing he wants is to end this. He also said hes been thinking a lot about marriage and asked if we could change the venue from the yacht club where we first met, to the lookout thats on a huge hill and looks out over the river and the city (its one of my favourite places, it's absolutely beautiful...and i always go there to think). It made me cry when i realized he does want this, and now I feel kinda stupid :/
but hey what was i supposed to think when ive hardly spoken to him all weekend!

So now I'm worn out from crying, aaaand I'm gonna go to bed early.

I'm still mad that hes hanging out with this 'friend' again though. And if he ever tells me to 'stop being silly' when im crying ever again....hes not gonna know whats hit him thats for sure!!!

Also he is really irresponsible with money (for example...last year he bought me a $100 vibrator as a 'joke/fun' present...when he could of got something that did exactly the same job for only $20...and i dont even use it coz it always makes me cry coz it reminds me of him, so its shut away at the bottom of my drawer...which kinda defies the point of it...coz somehow i dont think theyre supposed to 1. be shut away and 2. make you cry...not from sadness anyway...)
He also assured me that he has plenty of money to visit me, he's just still waiting to hear if he has any job interviews before buying a ticket (hes been looking for a full time job for a while, because he only works 3 hours a day atm and doesnt think hes good enough for me and hes determined to earn lots of money so he can 'give me the life ive always wanted'.

Geez you guys must be really confused by now :P

Anyway, thanks to all of you, especially LadyMarchHare for the support I honestly don't know what I would do without everyone here! *hugs*

[Heather]

I'm glad to read this and see that you were able to work it out with him. Good luck and I wish you the best <3

[LadyMarchHare]

I'm really glad that got settled and his response to some of that stuff. The douchebag's a minor detail that can be overlooked, chances are he won't be around long. Even saints get the urge to kick a jerk in the nuts now and again.

The money thing I can understand as I'm not exactly the most frugal or responsible party with my own income but that's always something that can be worked on once the reality of "holy shit bills" kicks in. All in all I'm just happy that was resolved and there was a good outcome from it. Take a nap, I know you have to be worn out from all that emotion.