ADVICE PLEASE!

[iamangel]

Me and my boyfriend before we talk every day for 3 to 4 hours on skype but those last week of February we didn’t do that anymore because he start his practice on the bank and he’s busy on his research and at the time he’s available I’m sleeping because we have different time, he’s from Poland and I’m from Philippines. And on weekends he goes to the University and we can’t talk. We talk now once a week. It’s so hard for us and I’m starting to worry now. What should we do and it will affect our relationship if we didn’t talk every day? Please, give me some advice.

[BoogleBee]

I don't think not talking every day will damage your relationship. It will be hard, as it is such a change from what you are used to. When I came from visiting my SO for a good period of time we got into skyping for about 3 hours a day but then a month after I got back I stared University again. I have 8 and 9am starts and we are 12 hours apart, and due to her having her school at 8am as well..it means we are both not there when the other is free. Therefore we talk a maximum twice a week now on Saturday and Sunday. Sure it is really really hard, but I must admit when I talked to her again after a week without hearing her last week it made me so excited and happy.

I'm sure it will be fine, but will take some time to get used to.

[iamangel]

Thank You ^_^ You're really right and i have to be used it even i really miss him and this situation makes me sad. One thing,
I made a plan for us in order to talk even its not every day, maybe 3 or 4 times a week. I will wake up on 2am here and 7pm on his time because it’s the time he’s available. I’m willing to do it but he doesn’t want this idea of mine. He said he don’t want me to sacrifice my sleep. But i’ll do it for our relationship. What do you think about my plan and he's decision about it?

[vpavelock]

Last semester me and my boyfriend had a lot of communication problems, with both our busy class loads, friends, and everything else that goes into college we rarely had a chance to talk on the phone. We text a lot, but that ends up creating more problems than anything. This semester we decided to look at each others schedules and figure a solution out. We now have Tuesday & Friday nights designated to phone calls, and Saturday night to a Skype call. Things are sure to come up and they all may not work out, but it's nice to have a plan to talk more. Although not talking much may suck, you have so much more to talk about when you finally can talk. My suggestion is to really look at what you both have to do and try to find some common times, even if they're not very long to talk. Best of luck!

[vpavelock]

also I think your plan is decent occasionally, and maybe you can talk about him sacrificing some sleep occasionally to talk? You both sound like you want it to work, so make it work somehow!

[nic&matt]

Talking only once a week is very tough, especially when you started out much higher. My SO and I had the same situation. I got a really hectic schedule and had to cancel our once a day to once a week (twice if we're really lucky). He found it really hard at first but you just always have to think about the other person. If he got upset or frustrated at it, he knew how much it already stressed me out and was nice enough to just work it out.
When you only get to talk once or twice though, like BoogleBee said, it makes it almost 100x better! We always have things to say and it's just a breath of fresh air to just talk face to face. You'll get to treasure the moments more and it becomes more significant, at least I think it does.
The transition is always hard but keep it up and it does get easier, I promise. Good luck! Don't be discouraged

[iamangel]

Thank you all for your words and for sharing your own experiences. It makes me calm. Next time i'll talk to him about it and we will plan for our schedules. I know everything will be fine for us because we love each other even we're in hard situation right now. Thank You again, BoogleBee,vpavelock and nic&matt ^_^ Good luck to us!

[uniquefem]

Hmm i think you could also text/sms to Europe from Asia. Also maybe you should do some other creative way to get in touch with him like with emails, or snail mail.
Me and my SO also had different time zone just like you. My SO in Germany, when i work he still in bed, and when i am getting ready to bed he just woke up or just arrive at work. We rarely chat lately, just mail, and snail mail (i send him letter/snail mail every two weeks).
We only chat if he could.. i try to get online every night, we already set the rules, e.g i will wait until 9.30pm and if he is not online ill sign off and sleep. And if he can not get online because he is very busy, he should let me know so i wont wait for him all night.
All you need to do is communicate i guess... just try to work something out!

Good luck, and don't gave up!

[Xanahtas]

I had this exact problem. My SO and me used to talk all the time in the summer holidays but then when he started working, i hardly got to see him. It stopped for a while coz he quit his job to start college, and then it got even worse. And its still like this atm. We get an hour a day tops but luckily we have weekends.
This shouldn't affect your relationship, but its gonna be suckish and hard. I would just advise keeping yourself busy with something and look forward to the next time you speak to him
The sleeping thing sounds good, me and my SO do it every weekend - i stay up till about 2am so we have more time to talk. I shouldn't really because of my school work but its so worth it for him But only do it occassionally because you will really mess up your body clock if you do it too often, trust me, for a whole 6 weeks i stayed up till 5am on skype... everyday! I was like a zombie after

[Xanahtas]

And also.... GOOD LUCK! You can do it xxx

[iamangel]

Thank You Xanahtas And thank you for all who helped me and gave some advices
I'm happy to say that I just finished talking to him a while ago. We both look tired when were talking but its really worth it and we made each others day. I follow your advices and the good news is his practice on the bank will finish this 25 of March. We will back to the old routine. But i know we will face this same problem again if both of us will have a work. But I know what I can do now and to cope on this problem. Thanks again :-***