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    love and confuse

    is it possible to love someone u met online?????????????
    i can't explain it..but every time we talked, i feel that im the happiest woman on earth..
    and when he is gone..i miss him terribly that i want to move the time just to chat him again and again.....
    but if its really love,
    i still have prob..
    he is still very committed..
    still married to his wife and has a kid..
    but he told me he loves me so much.

    what im going to do?

    #2
    It is possible to love someone you only know online.

    However, if he's still married, you probably should stay away from him. That's a bag of drama you do not need. Imagine if you were his wife, how you'd feel if you found out your husband was professing his love to someone on the internet, even if your marriage was going towards divorce. Not to mention the problem with the kid, the possibility of divorce is hard enough on them, you may end up a target for their hate if you end up the reason their parents split up. In short, it's a bad situation to be in and while we can't help who we fall for, sometimes it's better to love and lose than stay and hurt.

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      #3
      we have been in a relationship for almost 7 months now..
      though we never met in person,he is always there for me emotionally and financially..
      thanks for the advice
      but i admit im really attached with him and i dont know what to do if im gonna lose him
      he said that we will work it out
      but do u think i need to stay with it?
      its easier to say..but its really hard to do it..

      Comment


        #4
        I know it's not really the job of this forum to dictate who should break up or stay together, but I honestly cannot see a good outcome for you if you stay with a married man. If he's supporting you financially, that pretty much makes you the mistress of his life, the "other woman." You deserve to be the ONLY woman, not someone's piece on the side. I know you care about him, but I wouldn't be trusting my feelings with someone who still is married to someone else and claims to love me and only me. That situation right there proves he can lie to someone about his feelings. A lot of married men with women on the side will use the excuse of their children in order to stay with their wives and not move on, I'm afraid he may end up using that line with you too even if he says things will work out.

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          #5
          Originally posted by LadyMarchHare View Post
          I know it's not really the job of this forum to dictate who should break up or stay together, but I honestly cannot see a good outcome for you if you stay with a married man. If he's supporting you financially, that pretty much makes you the mistress of his life, the "other woman." You deserve to be the ONLY woman, not someone's piece on the side. I know you care about him, but I wouldn't be trusting my feelings with someone who still is married to someone else and claims to love me and only me. That situation right there proves he can lie to someone about his feelings. A lot of married men with women on the side will use the excuse of their children in order to stay with their wives and not move on, I'm afraid he may end up using that line with you too even if he says things will work out.
          I completely agree with this

          Comment


            #6
            I also agree. You deserve to be the one and only. And his wife and certainly his child don't deserve this either. He has made a really bad situation here, and you are probably better off in the long run finding a healthier relationship, where you can be happy, have total trust, and a fresh start.

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              #7
              I have to say I agree with LadyMarchHare and garnet.
              I don't know him and I don't know the situation but my view is if he is willing to cheat on his wife whom he has a child with what would stop him from cheating on you if you did end up together? it would be naive to believe he wouldn't.
              All and in all I'm sorry to say I really don't think this is a healthy relationship.
              Money Savers a LFAD group for people to share money saving ideas, tips, links, etc.

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                #8
                Yes it is 100% possible to love someone you only know online.
                The absolute first thing you must do is ask him if he is going to leave his wife,
                Then decide on what you do after he answers, you need to know what his intentions are before you can make an informed choice about what you want to do.
                i know alot of people will consider what i'm saying is harsh but it's my own personal experiance. People stay married for the wrong reasons sometimes, children,habit,fear of being alone and sometimes you meet someone and fall in love and people end up hurting but love is something that you can't control.
                I really can sympathise with your situation, if you want to you can message me at anytime.
                As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance

                Comment


                  #9
                  I completely agree with pretty much everything everyone has said. It is really hard to leave a marriage no matter how unhappy a person may be. TRuuuuuust me.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by NikkiP View Post
                    I completely agree with pretty much everything everyone has said. It is really hard to leave a marriage no matter how unhappy a person may be. TRuuuuuust me.
                    Especially when there's a child. There's the process of a custody battle and if he gains shared custody the court may tell him he can't move away lest he lose said custody. I can understand if the marriage is honestly unhappy and falling apart and the two have already talked divorce, but this still smells to me like he wants a dirty little secret and not a new start. Besides, I still find it tacky for someone to date when they're still married. That's insulting to the wife even if the two hate one another. And as someone mentioned previously, what exactly will keep him from repeating this process should he end up marrying the OP or at least dating her seriously? Not all cheaters repeat their actions, but it's not exactly a false statistic that they do. Maybe I'm being less sympathetic than I need to be, who knows, but this situation bothers me. If I ever found out my guy was married to someone after all this time of him saying he loved me and we were going to be together forever, I'd make him pay for a plane ticket just so I could break his nose. I find it insulting when a guy thinks it's OK to date other women when they're already involved and make the girl OK with being the "other woman" or at least feeding her what could be false hope.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I have to agree that this sounds like a recipe for disaster and heartbreak. When my boyfriend and I met we were both married, but this was discussed up front and we were more or less just friends for awhile. As the marriages broke up we were naturally drawn together but not as a rebound - probably because both marriages had been dead for a long time by that point. We did not officially start "dating" until we were both separated and on our own. Our situation is working but it's not a situation I'd suggest or recommend to everyone.

                      The fact that this guy of yours is married with a child and apparently no thoughts of leaving would be a big red flag for me. I wish you luck and love.
                      Last edited by LeilaniJoi; March 11, 2011, 11:46 AM. Reason: forgot to add an important point - that of being separated before we became officially a couple
                      Three words. Fill my racing mind. Leave me breathless. Lost in time.
                      Three words. Fill my endless dreams. Repair my heart. Mend the seams.
                      Three words. Fill your heart too. Three words pronounced. I love you.

                      ~~~~~~

                      You look in the mirror, you don't like what you see, don't believe it.
                      Look in my eyes, I am the only mirror you're ever gonna need.




                      Met online: 12/24/10 Met In Person: 2/24/11 Distance Closed: 4/24/11
                      Not one regret, not one backwards look, only towards the future and beyond!

                      Comment


                        #12
                        As long as he continues to live with his wife, he's a married man, regardless if its loveless, or not. Its one thing to date a man who's separated and living independently, but if he's living with her, you're just a mistress. It doesn't matter what he tells you, and I'd be very cautious about trusting him, as long as he's living with his wife, you're just a little something on the side and why would you want that for yourself? Don't you think you're better than that? Unless the part about him supporting you financially has something to do with it, perhaps? You need to discuss with him exactly where you stand, and take what he says with a grain of salt, because he may not be 100% honest with you.

                        Take a very good look at his actions, because you can expect him to treat you the same way, one he gets bored with you. Sorry to sound so harsh, but I'd rather sound harsh and hope you'll put some serious thought into it, than for you to be completely blindsided later. Good luck.
                        Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

                        Comment


                          #13
                          hey guys.....
                          i really appreciate ur msgs..
                          thank you so much..
                          im overwhelmed.. really..
                          i guess u really are right..
                          i should not deserve something like this..
                          i need to be love by someone who i can really call mine..
                          i dont want to be the other woman here..
                          if he loves me, then he should consider my feelings from the start..
                          i know this will really hurts me..
                          but i know i can survive..
                          god bless all

                          Comment


                            #14
                            ....i realized.....
                            'its better to be single yet inspired..
                            than to be in a relationship yet confused".


                            thank you guys

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by singkit View Post
                              ....i realized.....
                              'its better to be single yet inspired..
                              than to be in a relationship yet confused".


                              thank you guys
                              I really like your quote Good luck singkit, you will survive and be a stronger woman for it!
                              Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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