When the sadness of the distance hits you, how do you work through it?

[agentholli]

Usually I can handle the distance, but there are times that it hits and it makes me so sad. Especially sad today, my best friend met a guy online, and has been talking to him for a couple of weeks, and she met him in person today. I wanted to be excited for her, but I just couldn't do it. I almost felt jealous.

It made me think of how I haven't met my boyfriend, and it wasn't fair!

If you ever get this feeling when the distance is hard, can you please give me advice on how to handle it , or things to do to make it easier?

I usually have a pity party for a little while and then go about my life, but today the sadness just won't go away. Help me?

[gflatsxo]

My friend has a boyfriend who is also from the US and I am always jealous that they are so much closer than my boyfriend and I.
When the sadness hits me, I usually just think about how I will meet him soon and that it will be amazing when we do meet. Think about all the good things you share and how soon you can be together with your SO. If you don't have an idea when you will see your SO, just think of the things about your SO that make you smile and how much your SO must want to be with you as well.

[agentholli]

Thank you!

[totalspiffage]

I was always so jealous, being in high school, surrounded by couples at every side(couples who split up after three weeks, mind you, but couples nonetheless). And I was seriously almost ready to end it, but I held on, because I knew something serious was worth it. And if that person loves you, they will come out and show it somehow. It took us a year and a half. Because we were both absolutely desperate. And it was definitely definitely definitely worth the wait. They've been dating a few weeks online? That's nothing. I think distance allows a relationship to develop.

Trust me. It's worth the wait. And I've got years of waiting to go.

[asianbarbie0917]

I think about the way I'm going to feel when i see him again lol just thinking about it sends chills down my spine. Just remember that you'll get a higher payoff in seeing him than those around you and it'll be that much more special when you guys spend time together

[agentholli]

Thank you guys!

[xsomanymilesx]

my friend sees her boyfriend every few months, shes also in an LDR... she is in the same country as my boyfriend and her boyfriend is in the same country as me, i'm really happy for her that she gets to see him but i get what you mean... generally it just makes me feel more sad than jelous, when the sadness of the distance hits me, i have a good cry and get my SO to reassure me that its gonna be okay, and we also talk more about what were gonna do when he gets here, the trips we'll take, the holidays we'll go on, and little things too. it tends to help... i havent met him in person yet either so i know exactly how you feel...
best of luck x

[Italia10]

Stay strong!

[garnet]

I was in a similar spot. I met Rane in World of Warcraft. We started dating. My best girlfriend in game later met Rane's best guy friend in game, and they started dating. Money is no object for her, so she bounced right out to see him (she and rane are in canada, her boyfriend and I are in the USA), and I still hadn't met Rane and had no solid plans to.
I was totally jealous! Greeeeeen. To make matter worse, she gets to see him like, every two months.
Anyways, to get through this, I really did try to be happy for her, despite my total jealousy. I spent as much time with Rane as I could, and we made our LDR the best it could be. That is really the only thing that helped. I felt better if I sent him something in snail mail, or if we took time to watch something together, or we just did whatever to improve us.

Fast forward to now... all the friendships have shattered. It would have been such a great support system since it has sooo many similarities (right down to her and I both being the older person in the relationship, and by the exact same amount of years), but things turned ugly. Right around the time I filed for the Visa to get Rane over here. I know they are still together, still visiting often. Rane and I are just a couple of months from our wedding now, since the visa process is almost over. She was not supportive of us ending our distance (though I'm guessing it would have been fine if she had done it first), and was pretty blunt about almost hoping we didn't make it. I guess the jealousy went both ways. Thats the conclusion I drew anyway.

So anyway, the only thing I can say is, focus on your boyfriend, and not them. As Rane told me a million times, this isn't a contest. (And I needed to hear it.) You obviously have something special with your guy, so make the most of it. Let them have their fun, and soon enough, it will be your day.

[So_Far_Away]

When it all gets too much for me, I get all my scrapbook stuff out. Every time I have a free afternoon (about once a month) or I literally can't concentrate on anything except for how muh I miss him (again about once a month) I get out everything which reminds me of us when we are happy (no point in remembering the sad bits is there!) and make it into scrapbook. I've got bits of text conversatins, MSN chats, emails, my diary entries as well as tickeet stubs for all the things we do when we're together. So far I've done the first 7 or 8 months of our relationship He doesn't know about it - I'm planning on suprising him with it when I'm finished/up to date. And if I miss him terribly but have no time, I just get it out and have a quick look through. Becuase there are only happy things in there, it just makes me happy and missing him instead of very very sad becuase I miss him.

[So_Far_Away]

The only problem is it that I've now realised that if I give it all to him I won't have it anymore!!

[Mio]

Those moments come in every LDR, and they are super sad! In those moments I would just feel sad, cuddle with my pillow and wait for my next conversation with my boy. Always look forward for the time when you'll be together, make plans, it's a super helper!