I'am in need of an advice for having a long distance relationship

[angel85]

Right now iam feeling alittle sad because i see that hes too busy with his own world that he has . The thing is i been here near him for 3 months . Not sure when iam leaving to go back to toronto . Sometimes i get these wrong feelings of saying what if i called it quits . I really don't want to think this way . Even though we are both looking forward to future together as in getting married . My parents accpet my so . That is the best part . But right now I don't know how to cheer him up from his own sadness that he is dealing with . For a moment i was thinking of getting a ticketing and leaving maybe than he would notice if he miss me . Thats not what i want because my world is going to fall apart once i go on the plane . We are very close and know alot about eachother . We are also engaged . I hope that sound can give me some advice as to not giving up on the best part of my life . Thank you everyone .

[LadyMarchHare]

Well you're being a little vague so maybe you'll elaborate a bit for me. The first sentence you say he's in his "own little world" which, to me, implies he's busy with things that could easily be put aside like video games, nights out with his friends instead of spending them with you, silly things. Then you say he's dealing with sadness, so that changes the situation to it now sounding like he's depressed and focused on that misery. So right now I'm gonna go with that assumption and can correct me if I'm wrong.

People who are depressed, whether it's clinically or situationally (the former needing medication because the person has no reason to be sad, the latter being like if you get depressed when a loved one dies, it eventually goes away) are often very selfish. They get what is called 'tunnel vision', something like when you put blinders on a horse and all they can see is what's right in front of them and not completely around them, instead with depression the blinders only let you see a mirror, yourself, and just how bad you feel. If he's depressed then chances are that's what's going on and he has no idea how to change it or take the blinders off. It's very hard to deal with someone who's depressed if you've never experienced it yourself, but you have to realize acting so selfishly as to leave him "just to see if he will notice" is not going to help either one of you. If he has a problem, you need to be his shoulder and get him help or try to help him as best you can. If it's something else and he's the one acting selfishly, sit him down and talk about it. If you don't talk your problems out now, how do you expect to survive marriage?

[angel85]

Thats a good point . I will be his shoulder to help him out of anything he is going through . Busy in his world i met to say is that he takes everyone else problems oh his shoulder and that doesn't help him . He is a person with a big heart . And no i don't plan on leaving him . Yes the best way to solve it is talking . That is what iam doing right now . Thank you so much for the advice . It makes me understand more . In this case I have to be more stronger person to be there for times like these .