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**TknandLvnIt** · March 14, 2011, 04:09 PM

Breathe!!! That's the first step its hard because communication is one of the main things that we rely on in an LDR but not talking on the phone doesn't mean that his feelings have changed. If he would go as far as to have his mom text you so you won't worry then he obviously cares about you. I know its really difficult but maybe you could write letters via snail mail to each other during the times that you can't talk on the phone. If you miss his voice maybe listen to old voicemails or read them out loud to yourself how you think he would say it. You should be happy that he loves you if he wanted to move on he wouldn't contact you or say he misses and loves you. I know its hard because even when my SO and i don't talk for a few days I feel like I'm going crazy so I know you must be struggling but know that you trust him and value your relationship and relax because all of the anxiety you feel will go away as soon as you hear his voice. Only 5 more days love you can make it :-)

**Miramaid** · March 14, 2011, 04:13 PM

I would feel the same way? Advice? I think I would ask him and I would tell him that the way he is acting makes you have bad thoughts.
That is just me tho. I prefer being straightforward (tho sometimes it takes time to come out and say something). I am pretty sure if you two are only talking once a week you would not have missed that call even if you had a sore throat. I do not think it is an excuse.
But again, that is just me.

**jaimie14** · March 14, 2011, 05:20 PM

1.) If he has a cel he can text you from, how come you can only talk on the phone once a week when he goes to the internet cafe?
2.) It's perfectly normal for you to be this upset and missing him. Especially if he's not providing a good reason for why he hasn't been able to call, because to me, a sore throat and bad voice is not a good reason. My boyfriend just got done with 50 consecutive hours (only about 4hrs of sleep) of training and yelling, and he called me right after. If you miss and love someone that much you're gonna make that phone call and it's going to be important. Obviously you feel this way also, or else you would not be upset. You need to sit down a nd have a serious tlak with him. Let him nkow how you're feeling and why and work together to come up with a feasible solution.

And has he had a sore throat for THREE WEEkS? Sorry, this is where I raise theBS flag.

**adrian** · March 14, 2011, 05:29 PM

I totally understand. But, I see I am very lucky, we talk first thing in morning, last before bed and some in between. txting, OMG I'm a txting nut, so we are usually in contact throughout the day.

I personally, would adress why no more weekly phone calls. If I went a whole day, shoot a half a day without hearing from my SO, I would stress, not that I should we are solid, but I get it. Everyone has different plans/rules in a relationship and what agreed upon. So, know I would want to talk about, not going after and trying not to be needy but I wear my heart on my sleeve and we always talk about our needs and wants.

good luck and keep up posted

**Rach321** · March 14, 2011, 06:36 PM

It doesn't sound like he's had a sore throat for 3 weeks- just that it was the reason that he didn't call this weekend... I can understand why you're upset and missing him. I get that way too when my guy's out of touch. Have you told him you've been so upset you've been crying? He may not realize how much you're hurting. Hope you can talk to him soon!

**nic&matt** · March 14, 2011, 06:51 PM

I think it's perfectly normal, especially if you're used to more conversations. It happens, just ups and downs of anything, but the bump goes as quickly as it comes, promise. I know it's hard to wait it out.
If you are that concerned you do just need to tell him how you're feeling. I get like that with my boyfriend but he sets me straight 95% of the time and it really helps even though it's kind of embarrassing.
Good luck. Just keep at it!

**LadyMarchHare** · March 14, 2011, 07:04 PM

jaimie14: not all cellphones can access the internet. My mother's phone can't because she didn't want that in her phone plan and neither can my SO's.

Whatever his reason for not calling you as much anymore (well really at all) it's normal to feel how you are right now. I used to have daily to almost daily contact with my SO whether it was via internet, text, or phone calls. When he became insanely busy with his job, the phone calls were trimmed down to once a month if I was lucky, the internet just as much, and it became a guessing game what day he'd reply to any text I sent. I got upset several times, I've cried myself to sleep about it on occasion, I've gotten mad at him, gone crazy and spent hours calling his phone late at night, the whole deal. Now however many months later with our schedule still that way I'm used to it, I still don't like it, but I'm not as weepy as I used to be.

If it's really upsetting you and you're unsure if he's telling the truth or why he's suddenly limited contact, talk to him about it. You have a right to know what's going on.

**lucybelle** · March 14, 2011, 07:19 PM

I'm sure he's busy with all sorts of stuff right now. I can tell from what you're written about him before that he really truly cares about you. Some guys just aren't good at remembering to do the "mushy" stuff for us girls. I probably wrote 20 letters to my SO and only got one back when I asked for one. You have to understand that he has to go out of his way to call/text/skype with you. He's obviously trying because he's been doing a good job until recently. Probably combination work, sick, stress, etc has got him really worn out. Remind him GENTLY that you miss him and you miss his texts etc.

Buena suerte.

**OliveOyl** · March 14, 2011, 08:25 PM

he calls from an internet cafe/phone booth place because the rate is cheaper than the phone. Its actually really expensive to call the US from a Cel. He hasn't been sick for 3 weeks. I know he was being transferred schools, which doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is, its about 1:15 minutes away from his previous job. He does have to go out of his way to call me, which sucks. (This is an international relationship).

I kind of agree that its kind of crazy though to not talk to him for like 3-4 weeks, regardless. It just makes me feel like I have no boyfriend. It sucks. sucks is also an understatement. But I think the whole point is I get to wait until he calls me to talk to him. I did mention to him not talking to him has made me begin to start having bad thoughts, and I thought he probably had a gf, because Im also not very subtle, im blunt with my feelings. And, that was why he was going to call me this past weekend, but he didn't because he got very sick. And he doesnt want to call me cause he can't talk cause of his throat. I don't know if he is still sick in bed, but I imagine he had to go to work this morning. I don't know though. I feel like I don't know anything.

**LadyMarchHare** · March 14, 2011, 08:38 PM

I suppose in this case it's a matter of trust, then. He's been understandably busy and while a lot of people could argue if he wanted to make time for you he could, sometimes you honestly can't. All you can do is be honest and upfront with him and trust him, other than that it's endure the bad times and know they don't last forever.

**OliveOyl** · March 14, 2011, 08:42 PM

yea, I dunno, I am just super moody lately! Im sure there are other issues factoring into that issue, but still Its only affecting my stress about my relationship. I think maybe I should go to counseling again, because I suck at dealing with anything apparently.

**lucybelle** · March 14, 2011, 08:42 PM

I agree with LMH. You got to trust him. If he's transferring schools think of all the hassle it would be up here, then multiply that by 1000 and that's how difficult it is in Mexico.

**OliveOyl** · March 14, 2011, 08:45 PM

I know, and that is where my guilt for being so damn moody and needy is coming from! This just suuuucccckkkkksssssss!

**kiara_silver** · March 14, 2011, 09:54 PM

I think most people in a online relationship goes through this. My SO has times where hes so busy we talk maybe once or twice a week. And it drives me crazy, and i get depressed but, he loves me. I say live your life. Don't be to clingy and go out, work on projects hang with your friends. Its funny but sometimes when your not there thats when he wants you. Let him know you love him and are there but don't be afraid to go out on your own and not spend all day waiting for that phone call. Let him come to you. I find it hard when hes away for days and i miss him so much, but it always gets better. Ive been with my bf for nearly two years and there have been alot of times when hes been busy and doesnt have time for me, he wont be able to write or talk or call and i'll get one message in the week him telling me he loves me, but thats it. and it frusterates me, and its a sweet message but makes me more sad and i feel like he's losing intrest, but then i need to remember that i am worth it. and remember to be patient, cause good comes to those who wait. But let him know how u feel. tell him you need more time, or to work something out, plan a date night, pick a day and to make special.

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