Is it truly over?

[sopeeyaaa]

Hi guys!
I'm definitely just a lurker on this site, but right now, I just really need any advice I can get.

My boyfriend and I met our senior year of high school and slowly delved into a relationship knowing that we were going to separate colleges when the summer ended. We spent 3 amazing months together before our split. Although long distance was hard on us, we still saw each other at least once a month and I thought that he and I were going to last forever.

Last friday, he told me that he wants to break up. He says he's tired of trying and that he's not in love with me anymore. It broke my heart. Completely and totally shattered it. I convinced him to stay with me until spring break when we can see each other face to face. I'm hoping that this will change his mind, but is there anyone who's actually been through this? Does seeing each other face to face change anything?

I'm freaking out and I can't concentrate on school or do anything.
I don't know what I would do without him.

Does anyone have any advice on how to get him back?

[agentholli]

i am sorry to hear this. I have a story that may or may not help you...

My previous LDR, i broke up with him..and we went for about 3 weeks of not being together, and we both emailed each other the same day, and I decided to give it another chance, but I had to have a face-to-face to make a defenite desicion. so we both drove and met half way...spent the weekend together. When I left him, i thought I was going to be really sad, like i usually was, but that time I wasn't. At first I thought it meant that I was just handling it better, but about 2 weeks later, after all the same crap started again, ie...ignoring me, not giving me the attention i needed, his drinking....i realized that I wasn't sad when I left him, because he no longer was the one for me.
Seeing him face to face did help me realize that it just wasn't right. I do think that seeing eachother will help you realize if he is right for you, or if he isn't. I also believe it will help him decide also.
Good luck! Everything will work out the way it is suppose to for you.

[Gurl]

In answer to the title of this thread, I would say most likely it is over. If he really doesn't love you, then there's nothing you can do but move on. Start filling your days as much as possible so moving on will be easier. You know you can't MAKE him love you, so don't even try to. If seeing each other again doesn't make him change his mind (and I doubt it will), then gracefully walk away. It will be hard, but your strong and you know it. LDR's are NOT for everyone, and it could be something as simple as he's not mature enough to handle the distance yet. You are both very young, so don't sweat it if things don't work out as you want. Things always seem to work out for the best, even when its not the way we want. *big hugs* best of luck

[sopeeyaaa]

I would just move on, but I think he is just lying when he says he doesn't love me anymore. We've had a rough couple of weeks and I think it's just gotten to him. If I didn't think he truly loved me deep down, I would have let him go. I think he's just afraid of getting hurt in the end and he's trying to save himself by convincing himself that he doesn't love me anymore.

[Gurl]

I hope you're right. If I were in your shoes, I would have just walked...but I am 30 and would see what he said as playing games if he didn't actually mean it. However, I know at your ages, he could really just have no clue what he wants, etc. I would advise to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. That way, no matter how it goes, you can exit gracefully (if that makes any sense) Best of luck.

[Yin Yang]

I will have to agree with Gurl on this one. If it was me I would have just walked away too.
I had an LDR throughout my college and in the end it just didn't end well. It wasn't the LDR that got to us, but mostly the fact that we grew in different ways. College can change people, a lot. You grow up, meet new people, find new interests. Maybe that's what's happening to him too.
As Gurl said, you are still very young. There is plenty of time for love if this is not it.
Good luck.

[Mio]

Reality can be hard to accept, but when it's over we have to move on.