My bf had a job interview today that didn't go so well. I'd love to be there for him to support him and cheer him up. But he is out with friends. He'll be out all night so I wont be able to talk to him. I dont get to hear about the interview or why he thinks it didn't go well. We wont talk all night. It only bothers him because he knows I'm bothered by it. He doesnt need to tell me about it..and I can sorta understand because when im upset i dont want to sit at home I want to go out. I hate that we both would rather be with friends..that cant be a good sign. Part of the reason i feel bad? when I called before he left (not knowing he was going out tonight) I cut the convo short because i just got off work and was tired. That was my only chance and because I just didn't feel like talking now I dont get to talk to him tonight. I feel like we're just not close...I hear about a lot of you talking for hours on the phone/skyping..we never do that. We say we love eachother and want to get married but it doesnt show. Sometimes i feel like its just words.
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I don't talk for hours with my SO.
Some people are more comfortable in 'drowning their sorrows' with friends than their SO or family. It's not that they're not close, it's a matter of comfort. You can tell a friend you had a shit day and they'll say sorry and hang out with you. Tell your loved one you had a shit day, they want to know about it, they get concerned, and sometimes it makes you feel worse that someone else is as bothered by it or is more bothered by it than you. Everyone handles these situations differently. Just because you guys don't communicate like another couple might doesn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong with you. There's no 'normal' when it comes to relationships, there's no standard or list of requirements. -
I know i shouldnt compare our realtionship with any one elses but when i feel like this i cant help it. We have known eachother for 7 years and we are no where near marriage where some people havent even met yet and plan on geeting married. I know I know im comaparing again i just want that feeling and i know it takes time and every relationship is different...its like something is holding us back...I just want to be in a close distance relationship. I want to share my life in person instead of over the phone. I know you all feel this way too i just need to let it.Comment
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Well, you know I feel the same way too. It is hard when you want your life to continue and its in a rut..and there is not a lot you can do to get out of the rut. Its like you wait and wait and wait to continue on with your life, and you are tired of waiting. Some people can do it...others can't. I know that I couldn't do it anymore, and did what I did. Sometimes you just gotta let it out and know that there are people who understand what you are going through. Hang in there
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I don't know if you can apply my advice to your situation or not, so just take it with a grain of salt, but I have also been with my SO for a pretty long time, 6 years, and we have always had pressure to get married from his family, but I never wanted to, never felt I was ready etc. I knew one day we would but I never felt the need or desire really. Then over the course of a few months, it kinda hit me that I wanted to, and now we kinda moving in that direction. I don't know if this will ever happen in your relationship, but it might.Comment
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