A silly worry?

[kiara_silver]

one of my fears is that he's just going to lose intrest in me one day. Say your no longer good enough i want more out of life. I know this is silly after 2 years of commitment but I get this sometimes, more when he's away and we haven't talked for awhile. I start to get a little paranoid and think what can i do? What is he doing? Hes so busy and just out in everyday life, but since im not there i can't see what he found intresting that day or what he did and i get worried that while im over here, he could be out there enjoying something and some other girl could be taking intrest in it too and slowly he could drift away.... .i know its silly, but i worry about this sometimes.... anyone else?

[prinzeza87]

i some times get that feeling too, but i dont worry about other girls at all, i think its normal to feel that way some times, but ask ur self, is it worth it to have those feelings? n for me their not, so i just do my best on get my mind busy in something else...
trust your self, him n the love u guys feel for each other, specially if u guys r being for over 2 years together....

[OliveOyl]

too much. but it all boils down to have two things: 1) self-confidence....knowing your awesome and that you are good enough to deserve him and 2) have confidence in your SO....knowing that he knows your the most awesome person in the world, knowing he loves you, trusting he is not doing all that other stuff he is probably not doing.

[MeeshaLenee]

I think OliveOyl said it perfectly.

For me personally, I get that feeling occasionally, more often than I'd like, but I just remind myself that I'm worthwhile, and he's made it perfectly clear that he knows it.

[Caroline]

I feel a lot like this too.
I constantly see people breaking up around me that were "in love". It makes me doubt love.
All I can do is hope and make the most of every moment I have with him.

[PucasKitten]

Yea I feel that way alot I think its a very common fear with LDR's in general D:

but my SO is always there to reassure me when I start thinkin bout it to much~

[LadyMarchHare]

I had the same problem in the beginning when I had awful self esteem. It's one thing to have a pretty face around you all the time for you to appreciate, it's another entirely when said pretty face is miles away and out of reach and you still think about her and say "damn I'm lucky." The phrase "out of sight, out of mind" doesn't apply in an LDR. They're always on our minds and we're always on theirs, even if contact is far and few between.

I know my SO used to joke that I'd leave him for some younger piece because he felt old and ugly due to a lot of scarring from active duty in the military. I told him I wasn't the female King Henry VIII. Everyone gets insecure, especially when there's a disconnect in communication because then our minds enjoy rigging up nasty thoughts, but we just have to look in the mirror sometimes and tell ourselves we're worth this hell.

[Rosebud]

I don't think this is a silly worry at all or uncommon. I know until I met my boyfriend in person I worried about this every day, since even though I did trust him there's just something about being with someone in person to really 100% feel comfortable with their words (at least that's how it was for me). And even now, I do admit I sometimes feel the same type of panic, but in those instances you just have to take a step back and really analyze with a rational eye if you actually have a concrete basis for your worry. I find writing down my thoughts helps a lot since I feel a bit more seperate from my worries then, that they're out of my head and I can sit back and really think about them.

[Jrapp]

I had the same problem in the beginning when I had awful self esteem. It's one thing to have a pretty face around you all the time for you to appreciate, it's another entirely when said pretty face is miles away and out of reach and you still think about her and say "damn I'm lucky." The phrase "out of sight, out of mind" doesn't apply in an LDR. They're always on our minds and we're always on theirs, even if contact is far and few between.

I know my SO used to joke that I'd leave him for some younger piece because he felt old and ugly due to a lot of scarring from active duty in the military. I told him I wasn't the female King Henry VIII. Everyone gets insecure, especially when there's a disconnect in communication because then our minds enjoy rigging up nasty thoughts, but we just have to look in the mirror sometimes and tell ourselves we're worth this hell.

I just about love you for that line right there, lol. It's so true!

I get that feeling sometimes, but I think to myself, "If I wasn't worth it to her, she wouldn't be going through this hell every single day. She'd just stop." That usually snaps me out of it. If it doesn't I let her know I'm feeling like that and her lovey dovey words definitely make me realize, yet again, that she's here to stay(:

[OliveOyl]

Lady and Jrapp: SOOOO sososoossosoooo TRUE!!

Too bad it took me years and years, and a few therapy sessions to make me realize I am super worth it :-\ BUT I know I am...

Except, sometimes when I get really bad I need other people to help me "snap out of it". And thank goodness for groups like this that can help us through all of those highs and lows, eh?!

[Sol]

It is a silly worry, in some respects, but what caught my attention was when you said," and [when] we haven't talked for awhile.". Could you just clarify what you mean by that before I say anything redundant or tedious?

[bmw96mom]

OliveOyl said it PERFECTLY.
Far too often I have doubts.

Talk to him. That is the greatest advice I've been given.

[blankita719]

I felt this way when we first got together, considering we'd already been in a relationship previously that didn't work out, but the longer we're together, the more secure I feel. It does take a while to feel this way, and even being a 32 year old who should know better can have weak moments

[kiara_silver]

I am so super confident in us when we are together, and just now, he left me a message saying hes going to try to fit time in cause the next two weeks he will be busy. I don't think I wrote it clearly, its always a passing worry, i was just in that missing mode, and i get a little paranoid. I don't mean a girl will still him away i just worry he might lose intrest in me sometimes, but then i get over it and know im worth it and he wants me. But i know i'll get these worrys again. Until we meet in person im always self doubting myself ever now and then, i go from am i enough, will i always be enough? To Im all he needs and he's crazy about me. I think its more a self esteem issue. But it all goes away when im with him, or he leaves me a message or talks to me. I just get scared, cause its crazy to me sometimes that he wants me, hes so much more outgoing then me, has alot going on and already is going places in life and im moving at a much slower pace, i dont want him to outgrow me, does that make sense? lol idk how to explain, its just hard being so far apart.