Any advice for telling the parents?

[NaNi]

I never had a sit down with my mom where I talked about my "online relationship".

I just kept talking about this special girl from New Zealand and she was simply happy for me.

[Mara]

I didn't tell my family about my SO for a very long time, but that's normal with me. I never mention people I am dating or seeing as I feel it's frankly none of their business. I introduced them to my first serious long term boyfriend and they hated him so I was reluctant to introduce them to anyone else and have that type of drama in my life. They've always known I'm seeing someone or dating or whatever, but I usually just don't go into specifics about who, when, what, where.

When I realized that this relationship was really serious and this could very well be the man I spend the rest of my life with, I thought it appropriate that I say something. I think I just started dropping his name casually in conversation, playing up how good he is to me, and then, eventually late last year I told my mother I'd be moving, eventually, to be with him. I don't think she's accepted that, but that's another story. They (my family) does love him to death though I have never mentioned that we met online.

[Silencedsongs]

My parents are aware that I typically do not bring home people I've dated before. My family is actually very close, but I'm what might be considered the black sheep of the family. While I share similar interests with my family, I'm also interested and involved in things that might slightly confuse them. Specifically? I would role-play on games a lot when I was younger, and I still do frequent a few forums. I enjoy reading fantasy and sci-fi novels. They find that slightly strange, but have accepted it as well.

So, the thought of me talking to people online is not new for them, but at the same time - I can't exactly skirt around how I met him. He has a French accent, and I'm not about to ask him to lie for me.

I was sitting casually talking with my mom, and just told her I had something to tell her. It actually went better than I had expected, but still was not -great-. She listened to me, and said she had already looked him up online and that my sister-in-law professed to being concerned about this 'strange' guy. He sent me a small package in December, and automatically my mom was suspicious of that and that's how she knew of his name. When you first look at his facebook photos, there is a lot of strange things.. Specifically, because he is involved in a small studio productions group. Local photographer will hire him to do FX make-up, which is what you see in movies if someone has an injury or such. He does graphic designs for local artists as well. I had to explain all that rather thoroughly, but at the same time... I did not let on to the full extent of our relationship. I'll ease into that. I at least made them aware that he's not as 'straight and preppy' as my brother, but he's still a good guy. They were rather please that he said he would meet them,

"It's not like some romantic quest, right?"
"I can't say there's no foundation for it."
"He's in France, I'm not worried."

And I remember someone saying I should speak with him from the beginning, and it was actually his wishes from the start that I not lie. However, he wouldn't push me to do something I'm not comfortable with. And before this, they were aware of the French guy I occasionally talk with online. Merely, because I said this French guy was designing my tattoo.

So, the ending product is that they now know he’s coming to visit, and the reason of that visit is to see me. They will want to meet him, and they didn’t explode. Although, the more things settle in and the more they have time to think, I have no doubt I’ll be confronted with more questions or what not. At least, it’s a good start and I can sort of not worry about this hanging over my head now. ^.^

[princessmeg1328]

My mom and I have always been really close so it was only natural for me to tell her when SO and I were official. She didn't take the news very well (especially the fact that he's so much older) but over time, she came to terms with it. I think meeting him when he was here in January really helped her understand that Gareth and I are serious about each other. I think that you should be honest with your parents. Eventually, they will understand that it's your life, and you can only do the things that make you happy.

[LadyMarchHare]

My parents are aware that I typically do not bring home people I've dated before. My family is actually very close, but I'm what might be considered the black sheep of the family. While I share similar interests with my family, I'm also interested and involved in things that might slightly confuse them. Specifically? I would role-play on games a lot when I was younger, and I still do frequent a few forums. I enjoy reading fantasy and sci-fi novels. They find that slightly strange, but have accepted it as well.

So, the thought of me talking to people online is not new for them, but at the same time - I can't exactly skirt around how I met him. He has a French accent, and I'm not about to ask him to lie for me.

I was sitting casually talking with my mom, and just told her I had something to tell her. It actually went better than I had expected, but still was not -great-. She listened to me, and said she had already looked him up online and that my sister-in-law professed to being concerned about this 'strange' guy. He sent me a small package in December, and automatically my mom was suspicious of that and that's how she knew of his name. When you first look at his facebook photos, there is a lot of strange things.. Specifically, because he is involved in a small studio productions group. Local photographer will hire him to do FX make-up, which is what you see in movies if someone has an injury or such. He does graphic designs for local artists as well. I had to explain all that rather thoroughly, but at the same time... I did not let on to the full extent of our relationship. I'll ease into that. I at least made them aware that he's not as 'straight and preppy' as my brother, but he's still a good guy. They were rather please that he said he would meet them,

"It's not like some romantic quest, right?"
"I can't say there's no foundation for it."
"He's in France, I'm not worried."

And I remember someone saying I should speak with him from the beginning, and it was actually his wishes from the start that I not lie. However, he wouldn't push me to do something I'm not comfortable with. And before this, they were aware of the French guy I occasionally talk with online. Merely, because I said this French guy was designing my tattoo.

So, the ending product is that they now know he’s coming to visit, and the reason of that visit is to see me. They will want to meet him, and they didn’t explode. Although, the more things settle in and the more they have time to think, I have no doubt I’ll be confronted with more questions or what not. At least, it’s a good start and I can sort of not worry about this hanging over my head now. ^.^

You sounds like me in a lot of respects (odd one out in the family, roleplaying, forums, sci-fi books) and I think that was part of why my mom was not concerned about how my guy and I met, just more about who he was and, sadly, what he was.

But it sounds like things took a decent start and I hope it stays that way. Even if they don't back you fully, as long as they aren't harping you then it's all gravy.

[Mara]

I think the outcome of the talk went really well all things considered and I think once they meet him their minds will be put to rest. In time, I am sure they will come to adore him as you do.