Do You Ever Wonder How?

[So_Far_Away]

I was talking with a friend yesterday whos LDR failed in a massively explosive way. She's now in a CDR with another one of our friends and much happier. The LDR was with a distance of about 50 miles (if that) and they saw each other about once a week for saturday afternoons. She was asking me how my relationship is going (and she's not that good of a friend so I just said fine, even though at the time we were in a bit of a fight) and then started saying how amazing our relationship must be if we're both still this happy and making it work with no real issues.

I'm not going to say that it's easy being in a LDR, but she seemed to think it was so much harder than it needs to be - it's all about communication in the end. And if that's letters, emails, IM, phone calls or whatever, at the end of the day, good relationships make the most of what they have to be able to talk...

Anyway, I was just wondering if any of you just sit back sometimes and wonder how you're doing it? I know I do occasionally... and if I didn't love him so much, I know I wouldnt be able to do it even though we do see each other one sometimes two times a month.

Thoughts?

[Gurl]

Oh Yeah... I have those moments more often than I care to admit LOL I look back to the week he left and I still have no earthly idea how I've made it this far without running like the scared little girl I am about all of this. I know being on here helps A LOT! That and he's awesome, and I love him in ways I can't even put into words. Now to make it til the end of the year, when he comes back on vaca or I get the money saved up to go there...which ever comes first!

[NerdyH]

Sure I do, of course. I've been with my guy for 5 months now, which is the longest I've ever been together with someone for, and gosh, the number of argues we've had. We talk everyday on MSN, which is probably why we argue so much - we miss each other even though we keep talking to each other! It's confusing.
I don't know if it's normal to have argues so often, maybe it's just something that'll pass soon, but you know, we get through it.

Being in a LDR is hard sometimes, of course, but we do it for love, and that makes it a bit easier. I think both me and my guy try to focus on the good parts of it, and that's how we get by.

[folclor]

I think about it, sometimes, mainly because I've grown so much throughout it. You wouldn't believe how co-dependent and needy I was when he and I started talking just as friends. ^^; Sometimes I question his sanity for wanting to be with me, but I'm glad he does. (No, seriously, I'd have panic attacks if he was just like 30 minutes later than usual on getting online to talk.) I don't regret ever being in this relationship, though, because it has helped me get stronger and I hope it's helped him, too. I don't know for sure, though, considering he doesn't talk about that often. ^^; I think our only real issue at this point is the distance, which I'm working to close, so I think we're doing well. Sometimes my hormones try to tell me otherwise or something...but I'm learning not to listen to them. ^^ lol

[totalspiffage]

I wonder a lot, especially since this is my first relationship, and I've only met him once for a week last year- we've been together for a little over 2 years. I wonder what a stupid little high school relationship would be like a lot. But my friends keep me going. Especially since I started "seeing" him, my friends have been outstanding- a few have LDRs of their own. My best guy friend, for instance, I'm sure only became friends with me after I told him about my LDR. We kind of form a network, like this, to keep each other going.

I wonder what a CDR would be like. But then I remember that I couldn't trade my boyfriend for anything. He does more than any stupid highschooler here. He entertains me even when he's not around- sending me comedy shows/songs/movies/games when he can't be there for me. We talk every day usually, video call as much as we can, usually a couple hours a week before school. And, I think we've only had a few fights. Mostly we talk through things when we disagree with one another. He's fantastic. And he'd wait for me. That's what keeps me hanging on.

[So_Far_Away]

To NerdyH OMG we have so many fights! I thnk before last week it had actually been a month since we fought, but before that.. once every two weeks was pretty normal. I think it's becuase of how very different we are - I'm very aggressive and he's quite passive. So when he tried to walk away from what could become a fight, I get upset he's walking away from something and it all goes pear shaped!!

I never had a relationship in school I'm at university and this is my first and his forth (but first serious) relationship and at the moment I'm seeming to wonder what it would have been like... but you can't change the past and I'm glad that almost all my firsts have been with someone so special

[William]

I have yet to see any statistical evidence that LDRs tend to end because of 'the distance'. I think 99% of them end out of incompatibility, just like CRDs, but everyone (especially outsiders) just Love to blame it on the fact that it was Long Distance and was never gonna work anyway...

[agentholli]

I think that we have a total advantage. When you are in an LDR you learn alot about yourself and a lot about communication. I look at the things the people around me go through with their relationship, and I think serious?! You are fighting over that? or why don't you just tell him how you are feeling? lol it seems so simple but communication doesn't come well for a lot of people. Yes, the distance is hard, and yes it can put a strain on a relationship, but I also think that the distance makes its stronger! Like they always say, distance makes the heart grow fonder.

I haven't really ever thought, how have I made it..i am still stuck on when can i finally meet you!

[BJL_Sweetheart1109]

Yes! A lot. But I was not interested in a relationship of any kind for the longest time, so still surprises me that he somehow got me to want to be in a relationship with let alone a LDR! lol I just miss him a lot! LDR's aren't easy, and the distance sucks, I miss him all the time and then there are those horribly stressful days that I know just having him hold me in his arms would make everything better and he's 740 miles away!

But I wouldn't change anything for the world. I love him more than anything and I can't wait until the day he's finally all mine! =] There is absolutely no way I could ever do this if I didn't love him as much as I do. It's way too difficult and the feelings are way too overwhelming. But it just makes me appreciate him and what we have that much more. Because if I'm more than willing to do this for him and he's more than willing to do it for me then we have something more than I could have ever imagined having. And if we're able to make it through this and things are this great now, I mean really.... how great will it be when we're finally together!!!

[ginaxnj]

Yeah, I wonder that all the time.. So many people I know always ask me how I do it. It does get hard at times but if you truly love someone they are worth the wait and distance.

[BJL_Sweetheart1109]

Yeah, I wonder that all the time.. So many people I know always ask me how I do it. It does get hard at times but if you truly love someone they are worth the wait and distance.

I always tell them how can I not?! This is Bryce we're talking about. Anyone else and I couldn't, but it's not even a question of whether I can or not, I have to! I'd rather spend the rest of our life and only see him a small fraction of the time than not be with him at all!

[Tanja]

Andy and I have nights like that when we just think how absolutely mental it is that we met in a poker room, online, with thousands of other people from all over the world and hundreds of rooms and tables and yet we ended up at the same table on the same night AND started talking to each other ... Goes way over my head when I think about it lol. And obviously when we're like that we just keep asking "How did this happen, seriously?".

We too wonder how are we doing it and sometimes it feels like we're just going nowhere and we can never make it but when I think about how much I love him it's something so special, something I could never feel with anyone else... I know him and he knows me inside out and we have no secrets, he's my lover, my best friend and my rock and that's what keeps me going. I simply could not live without him anymore and I feel so blessed that I have found him cause the love we share is something most people only dream about, sometimes it feels like a dream and when I wake up and he's next to me I realise how lucky I am to have him in my life and what a fool I'd be if I gave up just because of the distance between us.

When there's a will there's a way.

[ErinKristine]

I ask myself this everytime after we have to be apart after a visit. I was thinking it this morning because my SO was home for a couple days and he had to leave this morning. I wonder if we're going to make it through the next couple years of school (me) and deployment (him), but then I think about the fun we have and that we are good at the communication part of our relationship. I knew he was good at communication before we were officially together because he would email me daily and even when he was away for five weeks he called me once a week, if I didn't feel like we could make then we wouldn't be together. Today I was even thought why do we do this to ourselves, each time we have to say "see you soon" it's heart breaking, but that time away makes the short time we are together totally worth it and I wouldn't trade our relationship for the world because I have never been so happy with someone or felt so sure that he's the one I want to spend my life with.

[Alisz]

Hm, sometimes I think about it. But not too often since I really have no answer. We pretty much just wing it and approach any issues/concerns we have as they come. Some of his friends joke around that after almost 7 months in we're still in our "honeymoon phase" lol Maybe if I really had to think about it, it could be that we have a good balance going on. And maybe the time zone difference that I often complain about is a blessing in disguise. We chat everyday and we talk every night. He has a pretty set routine and I'm always letting him know what I'm up to, so he doesn't worry and I don't worry. As much as we talk and spend time together, we also have some time away from each other. Whether it's because I slept in really late or woke up really early. I dunno, it still doesn't seem like that is why either XD We like each other lol

[Mio]

I think is healthy to sit down and think about our relationships, because then we can see how it's working and what we need to work on.