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Help. I lost my influence...

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    #1

    Help. I lost my influence...

    Long story story (kinda) short:
    My best friend is one year older than me and went to college. She and her boyfriend from high school decided to go long distance around the time me and my high school boyfriend (who was going off to college) decided to try it too.

    I had her to talk to about problems and her to understand me. I thought, if she's strong enough, maybe I have a chance!

    She is now transferring to her boyfriends school this upcoming year. They couldn't handle the year and didn't want to continue.

    If she can't do it...I don't think there's any way in heck I can...
    I'm not sure I can make the sacrifice she did. My future doesn't allow that.

    I don't know who to talk to now in person...I feel really lost and hopeless...

    help?
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    #2
    Try flipping the situation over.

    One of my friends in America got into a LD relationship about the same time I did. They only had a few hundred miles, couple hours drive (chicago - detroit) as opposed to England - USA. Well since they got together they have been LD, moved in together, got engaged and will be getting married in November!

    Its right for them, and thats ok. But the fact that they couldnt handle the distance actually made me kind of proud of me and my SO and that we CAN. Ok handle may not be the best word, but we're doing it, and doing it well I might add.

    Think of it this way: The best things in life are worth waiting for. They didnt wait too long, you are and it'll make it all the more amazing when you do finally close the distance.
    Tea and hugs make the world go round - don't ever discount the little things in life.


    Smiling away to oneself brings an obscene amount of joy when only you know the reason why your smiling. Pick something secret to smile about and let it light up your face all day long!

    And remember....Love really IS all around.

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      #3
      Originally posted by London-FortCollins View Post
      Think of it this way: The best things in life are worth waiting for. They didnt wait too long, you are and it'll make it all the more amazing when you do finally close the distance.
      This ^^^
      Just remember that you have some pretty awesome people on this forum that are always willing to listen and offer advice! ^^

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        #4
        Definitely agree with everything London-Fort Collins said.

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          #5
          Originally posted by nic&matt View Post

          If she can't do it...I don't think there's any way in heck I can...
          Stop that thought in its tracks! You are not her, and the love between you & your SO is not the same as the love that exists between your friend and your friend's SO. It's neither better nor worse, but it is a thing all its own. Whether you can or can't do it lies within you and your SO's hearts, and has nothing to do with your friend. And that is a very encouraging thing, for your heart is your own, as is the power to get through this awful distance

          I'm very sorry you don't have an in-person friend to talk to about the distance anymore- we're always here for you though! Good luck and hang in there- it is hard, but you CAN do this!
          We collided and fell out of nothingness... scattering stars like dust

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            #6
            If I went along with your thought pattern of "well if it didn't work for x it won't work for me" I wouldn't be where I am. I had a best friend who, from the time I knew her, which was a span of 9 years, was in 4 LDRs. Each one failed for various reasons.

            Every relationship is different just as every person is different. Some people can handle the negatives of an LDR where others just throw their hands in the air and give up. I understand she was there for you, could act as a rolemodel, but you can't compare what YOU have to what SHE has. That's like comparing wardrobes. What one person will wear another will turn their nose up at. All you can really do is be determined to show her that you have what it takes and that you're not going to throw in the towel because she did or anyone else has.

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              #7
              Thank you guys for the comments. They really did help!

              Comment

                #8
                If you need someone to go to for advice or just talk to, I'm always here!

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